Thanks for all your hard work Karen! Can't wait to read it in its entirety. Jodi-

yarrow, the fact that you are persevering through a difficult situation, indicates that you are a woman worthy of respect. And your statements that you are struggling and feeling unworthy of the challenge, makes you human. I agree with the others that you (and your DH) desperately need a support group of others who are dealing with similar challenges. You can encourage one another, and just to have those people to be able to call when you desperately need a friend who understands (because they are walking in your shoes) is vital. On line help can be helpful, but it will never take the place of real people who can give you a shoulder to cry on, and a hug. 2. If it were me, I would also sit down with DH, and (quietly, without yelling) tell him that everything in me wants to give up and walk away from this situation, and yet, I would explain that I cared about him, and knew that it would be a tremendous struggle for him to go it alone. I would say that I had three conditions to staying and supporting him and helping him to raise his son. A. Could he talk privately to his mother, and explain that her critical spirit (comments) and attitude has created a situation where you simply want to give up, and walk away. He needs to explain to her that you need her unwaivering support, encouragement, and friendship. She needs to understand that if his marriage fails, that it will come down to he and his mother raising this boy with so many needs. He needs her to understand that he loves you, and he expects her to give you encouragement, kindness, and support so that he does not find himself struggling on his own to raise his son. He should also let her know that he appreciates her help and love for this child. So many grandparents today are doing their own thing, and not helping with their grandchildren, and she needs to hear that he is grateful for her help. Everyone needs to feel appreciated. B. Then you and your DH need to schedule a meeting with this boys doctor, and a counselor (even if by telephone if out of the area) who specializes in guiding parents through parenting issues that are unique to autistic families, such as disapline, setting routines, diet, etc. and come up with a very concrete parenting plan. For many of us, it does not seem right to spank a child who is fundamentally unable to understand, or control behavior. It seems cruel somehow. And I say this, not judging you, because I imagine that you are trying to parent as best you can in a difficult situation. And perhaps that is why your husband may tell you to do this, but may not be able to handle it because at some level he feels it is cruel too. And yet you have very frustrating problems to deal with, from the boys behavior, that would stretch many beyond their limits. So pay a counselor for an hour or two of their time, to help you understand how you should handle discipline with this child. You may also want to talk to a specialist(s) at your sons school to find how they discipline autistic students at school, and any others questions you and your husband have. Then the two of you should come up with a firm game plan, and sit down with his mom, and explain the game plan, the diet that will be followed "exactly" and why, and that you need her full commitment to following the plan, because it is necessary that you all do everything you can to help this child, and the plan is to try everything the specialists recommend to try and give this boy a better life, which will help each of you as well. Perhaps his mother should be included at the doctors visits so that she is very clear on why all of this is so important, and is in on the game plan. 3. And last, think about your other two children, and your marriage. The other two need "fun" time with just you at least once a week. It can be a simple as taking a walk, just the three of you and listening to them, without distractions. Reminding them of your love for them, and allowing them to talk about their feelings, and staying connected with them. And your marriage needs a date night at least twice a month, because it is so important. It sounds as though you love your man, and want to support him. I imagine that he too gets overwhelmed, and yet you are both doing your best, and you are both human. You both get tired, frustrated, and discouraged, and yet...together you have the ability to do this exceptional job of raising a boy whose needs are great. You have come this far! Pat each other on the back, and look at each other and tell one another how proud you are of the people you are, and are becoming. I believe that you must both be exceptional! Become each others best friend, and work together. P.S. Give yourself a break on those hard days, and remind yourself of all the good things about you, because you are one of those people who are willing to hang in there and persevere when the going gets tough! I respect that. Just get your support group together, even if you have to drive an hour to find them! They will become vital friends to have! We all wish you the best as you find your way. You will be awesome!

Hi Eileen, Thanks for asking! My aloe plant is doing much better now in terms of hydration. Following the advice of hoovb, I changed the mix, put the plant outside for the summer in a wider pot, and kept careful watch. It seemed to stop declining, which was a relief. The leaves didn't really start to improve till I decided to submerge the entire planter when watering (for about 10 minutes each time), rather than pouring from the top. Around July last year — discovering that the roots were still mostly way too dried out — I repotted again with roughly 30% cactus soil mixed in with 70% grittier stuff (including pumice and bark), and put in a thicker cotton wick. I watered differently afterward, mostly from the top again, since the soil was different. Since then, the leaves have plumped back up. (Some of what I did went against instinct, but I tried to observe how my plant was reacting.) See attached photo of how the aloe is now — not as thirsty, though suffering from lack of light (a combo of winter and surrounding buildings, even though I use a grow light; btw, it doesn't live in that spot). I hope to correct that now that the season is changing, and it can go back on the balcony. It has a way to go toward full health. I credit hoovb's advice for setting my plant on the road to recovery, so those are good instructions to follow, especially regarding observing your plant closely and adjusting where needed. I hope the your aloe gets better soon as well! Please post how it goes. Good luck! jc

Tracy, please don't feel this forum doesn't care. Many do. But like in my instance, it is so inconvenient to go to the post office when I could just give you a ton of plants if you lived near me. I have been dying to thin out a little and just no one to hand any to But good luck in your endeavors and sorry about the stuff you have been through. Hopefully someone will spot this in your area and help you out) What's that white thing?