Deer resistant shrubs that might work for you include Kalmias (mature sizes vary, but these shrubs are not cheap), spireas (the smaller ones), Iteas, 'Palibin' lilacs, Lespedeza 'Spring Grove' and 'Little Buddy', Nanho Buddleias, junipers and others that I can't think of right now, including some of the smaller viburnums. Some of these plants need more sun than others. Also deer resistant are ornamental grasses. If I were planting the area you describe, I would mix plants, grouping the smaller ones, like the spireas, into plantings of 5-7. Try to avoid planting in a straight line. Also, keep in mind that deer resistant is NOT deer proof. If deer have the run of a property, they will taste anything new and are bound to develop a taste for something that ordinarily they would have little interest in. Keep new plants sprayed and make a real effort to get deer to avoid your property. It can be done.

Both Rhamnus alaternus and Prunus lusitanica have glossy green foliage and can be pruned/sheared to keep them more formal. Depends whether you want a broadleaf or needle - if your architecture is Mediterranean the cypress would work well but often look out of place with other styles. There are a bunch of Pittosporum that can be clipped.

Well, I can help you with a couple of sources of relatively inexpensive plants in quantity. Personally, I'd leave at least some of the swamp azaleas, since I love the flowers (especially the scent) and they've got decent fall color. You could try growing some of the more shade-tolerant clematis over them to add longer season interest. Turning in some good compost for the whole best before you plant and then mulching with an organic mulch like compost or shredded bark mulch will help preserve moisture and over time improve the sandy soil. You will still need to water to get your plants through the first year in your sandy soil. I'd probably put in a mix of shrubs, with some evergreens and some deciduous so that I'd have a variety of textures, colors, flowers and fruit. You could also add some long-season perennials and grasses if you like. I don't know if any of these are deer resistant, but there are websites that list deer resistant plants, as well as sprays you can use. From what I've read, how bad your deer browsing is depends on what other food sources are available and training the deer through aversion to stay away. Most plants will be browsed by deer at some point if they are hungry enough. (We have lots of deer, but also lots of undeveloped wooded land for food sources so the deer pretty much stay away from our cultivated plants.) Some general ideas to check out include shrub dogwoods with red or yellow twigs, white flowers and berries, some with variegated leaves. Some are small enough for your requirements and all can be trimmed yearly for best color and to keep smaller. (Cornus alba, C. sericea, and C. sanguinea) Fothergilla has a couple of cultivars that are close to your size requirements, and they have spring flowers, nice slightly blue-green foliage, and pretty fall colors. Some of the clethras are small and they like shade. If any of your areas are damp, they like damp to ordinary soil and have nice white summer flowers. Rugosa roses would do OK in the sunnier end of your part shade and have trouble free foliage, lovely scent, colorful hips, and there are several selections with different color for fall foliage and flowers. They thrive in sand. There's a PJM type of rhododendron called 'Checkmate' that stays small, has magenta spring flowers, nice small evergreen leaves that turn maroon in winter and is pretty trouble-free. There may also be some other rhodies that are hardy for you as many of them like shade. You could ask on the conifer forum for evergreen suggestions (my memory is that a few of the cdwarf onifers will tolerate partial shade), on the shrub forum for shrub suggestions and on the perennial forum for perennial suggestions,and put together a mixed border. My two sources for quantity plants in small sizes that are inexpensive are Western Maine Nurseries - I've done business with them and been quite pleased with service, plant quality, and size. The plants are liner size (very small) and come in trays of 32 with a 2 tray minimum order for woody ornamentals. (They are basically a wholesaler for nursery stock, but will sell to the general public if we want to buy in sufficient quantity.) My plants survived well and in three years have grown into well-branched small to medium shrubs where they were planted in decent soil. I think I bought 5 different varieties. www.wmnurseries.com The NH State Nursery sells more wild-type plants than garden type. Here is a link that might be useful: NH State Nursery

Lavender won't grow in shade :-) It's a full sun, hot summer plant. You could try a daphne - they will tolerate a partially shaded location nicely and offer wonderful fragrance. I'd look at one of the summer blooming ones, like Daphne x transatlantica 'Summer Ice' or 'Eternal Fragrance' or 'Carol Mackie'. They tend to have a very long bloom season and are relatively easy to care for - will stay under your height requirement but spread out to fill the space. Semi-evergreen in your climate and just need very well-drained soil (which hopefully you had for the lavender).