I have voles and possibly moles. I've seen the voles (mouse-like creatures) but I have loads of tunnels in the yard. So maybe that is a mole. Farm stores and big box home and garden stores have granules which are labeled non toxic and won't harm pets. You have to get the granules into the tunnels and water it in. My understanding is you water and do more granules going towards the end of your property lines, driving them away. To be honest, I did not want to fool with the watering part. There was also an earthworm-looking bait, it looked like a fake rubber earthworm, supposedly they eat it and it kills them. I didnt' want to use this becoz I have a small dog, and altho I don't think she would get into the tunnel and eat the earthworm bait, one never knows. And then poison bait not eaten will get into the environment. The next gizmos were solar-powered and battery-powered sonic emitters. The thing made a beep every 30 seconds, which I didn't like. So far I have decided not to intervene, becoz, while I have lots of tunnels, I don't see any plant damage, all my bulbs are up etc. So we are peacefully co-exisiting at the moment. Laurie

Pamala...that was deep :oP And in my case quite correct :) I actully feel a connection with the things I add to my home. A lovely little cordial glass can give me as much or more pleasure as an antique piece of jewelry. I love that the things were held in someone's hand a hundred years ago :) and now I get to enjoy them. I've always been this way, from a canning jar to a yellow ware bowl, I just love the joy of old stuff :oP And now I have an excuse to need more...so the hunt continues. And I will say, it's the hunt and kill aspect that makes it so much more fun than if I just walked into a store and said "I'll take that and that and that" to fill spaces verses searching for the perfect silly little thing...which normally I don't find, it finds me :o) I will say, I also have really gotten into the hunt to give away as well! I just gave habitat for humanity enough stuff from this house to fill three truck loads. I love losing the clutter and love that losing it meant it went to help someone else have a home some day or fill a home someday (our habitat store is a nice thrift store and it's a wonderful place to shop). I did the same thing in alaska when we moved into our finished house. It was great to donate a huge heap of very usable stuff that no longer apealed to me or I didn't have a need for anymore. Maybe I have house focused bulemia? Binge and purge syndrome...only instead of food I binge on silly things like antique canning jars LOL

You are doing the hardest work possible in parenting someone else's child and there really is very little reward except the fact that you know you are doing the right thing. You really are an amazing woman. I would suggest the you restrain yourself from sinking to level of the bio-mom. Nothing you say will ever make a difference in what that woman does. It is only fruitful ground for further power struggles. Standing firm by your convictions and being the best role model possible for your step-son is what WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE in his life. May not matter in the short-run but IT WILL in the long run. It seems you and your husband have very different parenting styles. Not that yours is wrong or his is wrong but they are simply different. Both styles are noble. But when there isn't support for both style, it is very difficult to manage. There are other ways to discipline a child who is acting out -- and your stepson is beginning to act out. He will continue and it very well could get worse until he gets someone's attention. I imagine that child has probably seen many forms of abuse and when children see adults being abusive what else could you expect but for them to mirror the behavior. It is a very unhealthy cycle. He needs LOVING discipline in the worst way. He needs to learn in a CARING WAY that there are consequences for his behavior. It sounds like you really care deeply about your husband AND his son and because of that I would definitely suggest counseling. Couples counseling for you and your husband and therapy for the son as well. Your stepson probably has tons of anger and hurt due to the neglect of the bio-Mom and he needs to learn how to cope with it and heal from it. If the two of you cannot find SOME middle ground on the parenting issues, then you may need consider making a healthier change. I might also suggest a series of short holidays every-so-often (somehow, someway) with JUST you and your husband so that you can have some alone time and spend time reconnecting and loving. This will ADD value to you as a couple and to you as a parent. It will benefit the child to see caring relationships and how they take care of one another's needs. Take special care.

I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling today... I've never been a news follower; the extent of my news is half-listening to NPR or the local news/traffic station as "noise" for the drive to work because most of it is stuff I have no control over, it's way too stressful. So truthfully I don't know what prompted the original post. I have been thinking about the recent natural disasters (latest is the big earthquake in Mexico). Like many of you, I find solace in the natural world and tending my little piece of it or just spending time outdoors brings me closer to God - even something as simple as watching the bees flitting from plant to plant reminds me of Him, it is perfect in design and it's all in His hands, and that is a supreme comfort to me.