Some Hippi, some OT and offer

15 years ago

First, this post is not an invitation to my "Pity Party". That was held Wednesday night. More info below, but as you all are the closest thing I have to family (I've said that before and now it's truer than ever) I felt comfortable in posting.

First...the Hippi Joy!

For those faithful followers of the adventure of "My Life as a Bee", I have made 3 exciting crosses, all with Lemon-Lime as the seed donor. Those 3 involved: Jewel (who provided abundant pollen in his/her second scape), Picotee (imaging a lemon-lime with red edging, and......GORDIE!! I am so excited and hope these take. I was very careful (and have been all season long) to strip the pollen caps so there were no "Whoops!". 2-3 years is too long to wait for a "whoops"!

Then...my lovely Lady Jane continues to push that big fat scape up and up. Looking like it will clear the neck with no problem, not it's just a waiting game. While looking at the benches out in the yard, what was waiting to surprise me?? Aphrodite has decide to send up a scape too! Just a few inches tall, with a big fat bud. YEAH!! Last spring's beauties are starting to awaken and REBLOOM!! I know how excited Jodi was...and now I can have that "pride" of a reblooming bulb too!!

Let's see...here's the offer (not Hippi related): a few years ago I bought a Porter Music Box (Swan Elite) on Ebay. I was NOT disappointed and not only got the music box (a piece of furniture really), but I got nearly 20 copper disks, and many MANY CDs and tapes (all unopened). Now...I really have no need for the tapes as they were duplicates of the CDs (I have no need for them really, but am hanging on to them), so, if anyone works with the elderly or special needs groups and they would like some music for music therapy, I would love to spread the joy and send some of these tapes. They are all music box music, from a Porter Twin Disc music box. They are really nice, but I just don't need them. I would be glad to send 1 or 2 to those who have a good cause. Please e-mail me.

Now...this is kinda sad, so stop here if you are going to be upset that you missed the "Pity Party" referred to above. My brother is a transient, addict. I've tried to help, and was always available, but he chose to shut me out for the past 11 years. Once the $$ from my dad's estate was distributed, he had no need for me (at least that's my take on it). So...For many years I sent several "family news" letters to the address I had (a hotel) and then every subsequent year, on his birthday Feb 25th, I made a phone call to the shelter where he would take meals. A couple of years ago they said they hadn't seen much of him. Last year they said they hadn't seen him and on Wednesday, they also said that they hadn't seen him. I thought he had probably moved on to another town or ??? it didn't bother me that much because I just thought that the guy answering the phone hadn't seen him but maybe others had. But on a whim I contacted the Butte County sheriff who had always been able to help and in the past he had alerted me to arrests and court dates. I got a reply from him that my brother had died 3 years ago. THREE YEARS!! I was sitting at my desk out in an open work area when I learned of this. I really lost it....bawled for several minutes and then pulled myself together. The sheriff had contacted the coroner on my behalf and they were expecting my call. That office couldn't have been nicer. They couldn't tell me anything over the phone but are sending a full report. I really beat myself up Wednesday night as I was feeling horribly guilty that I felt somewhat relieved over the news (guess I could stop worrying about him) and then on Thursday I started calling funeral homes to see if there was an outstanding balance, remains to be claimed, etc. Turns out his WIFE had claimed him...and so I let out a huge sigh of relief...he had found someone to care for him and love him and I am confident he wasn't alone when he died (at least I hope not). So...you all are now my official Hippi "family" and you are more important than ever! Sorry to go on and on, but thanks for your silent support, etc.

WHEW...it's been weird. The band at the "party" wasn't that good anyway, so I cut it short (he he he)...and they ran out of booze after 1 glass of red wine. Hmmm...host was awful cheap.

HAPPY WEEKEND. I get to start a new phase of my life and am looking forward, not back!

Have a blooming great weekend. I have to put tomatoes in the ground!

Lots of Hippi love!

Kristi

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (29)

kitty747
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Kristi, Lots of hippie (((HUGS))) to you. I'm sure you've gone through a lot of pain over your brother. He made his choice in life, and you made yours. You can be proud of your choice. You can't undo what he did. You can go forward with your life now, perhaps feeling a little bit lighter and more free.

On a lighter note, my older hippis are awakening, too. I'm so excited. Except for the one Lady Jane that I just posted about, everybody looks great. Looks as though the pot of Wonderland will be the first of these to open, with two blooming bulbs and some offsets growing. Next should be Unique -- have two pots of those. The most exciting part is that some of the bulbs from 2000 that had rot problems will be blooming for the first time since. It will be like receiving a gift waiting for those to open.

Kitty
0
haxuan
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Kristi, I don't know what to say 'cause I'm from a different culture. I only hope you're OK.

Xuan
0
Related Discussions
Ot: Offering Perennial Plumbago (Ceratostigma plumbagnoides)
Q
Comments (5)
From the research I have looked up it says that it is hardy to zone 5. Shoot me an email. Michelle I even think that this can be shipped in a bubble mailer. This is a tough rhizome plant that hates wet feet that is totally easy to get established.
...See More
Brug pics! - and some OT
Q
Comments (16)
Daniella, of course. I can send you some seeds when it makes some. I've noticed there are lots of seed pods forming, so hopefully a hard frost won't knock the vine out. I'm guessing they are as delicate as morning glories when it comes to frost. Theresa and Elizabeth, i can't take any credit for that! lol. I really neglect my yard a lot so whatever credit there is to give would go to the climate and the recent warm spell we've had. Theresa, If your mina lobata, doesn't make it (and if my mina makes seeds) you are welcome to have some. Mary, Eloise, Tj and Lucy: of the ten brugs from the same batch of seeds (three years ago), this is the one with the greenest midribs. The others have a fainter color. There was another that was yellowish and some are almost pure white. It is also the one with the largest blooms. I gave the rest away to family and friends this past thanksgiving (they were about 7 feet tall a piece). And to all, i can take a couple of cuttings from this brug to share with you all. It wouldn't be until after Christmas though. Just let me know if you would want that. Josh
...See More
1/2 OT: Sharing Some Cool Sans-related New Fabrics
Q
Comments (17)
Hi Folks, The Sans Show & Chat thread reminded me of this thread I'd made. Seeing the fun face masks Nancy made from Sans Fabric reminded me. Thanks Stush for making that Chat thread for us, was a GREAT idea. Also bringing these back up for anyone who hadn't seen them yet, like our returning friend Amanda (asarumgreenpanda). I haven't done anything w/ the fabrics yet even at the Digital Printing Company. But I recently decided to release the 2nd fabric for sale, as a I wish to buy several yards of it myself. My Sister had admired that particular print & I wish to make her something w/ it. (Likely, a simple sarong-type wrap for the Beach. We grew up in Rio de Janeiro & the Beach is deeply imprinted in us. She lives in FLA, a couple of blocks from her beach, as I am from mine here in Brooklyn, at the opposite end of the Coney Island Boardwalk). Lastly, in these high stress times, seeing these again makes me smile & I'll hope it does the same for others. And of course, these fabrics affirm my love of Sans & variegates in particular. Enjoy & Stay Safe Everybody.
...See More
(OT) Some plants LIKE drought?!
Q
Comments (8)
I treated this summer as a field test. Even in the best years, I only get an annual rainfall of around 600mm and, while I am prepared to water plants until they are established, I am not watering anything else in the ground. But yep, the plot is not naked. Far from it, there are a few things which have come through this year without much fuss. Reading your post with much interest, Melissa. as I am exploring xeric gardening and looking to make some radical changes on the plot. Managing my tiny courtyard pot garden wore me out (although I have myself to blame).1-2 hours watering, every single day and didn't dare go anywhere for longer than 24hours (unless I bribed the offspring, with patchy results). Perovskia, for sure, along with various euphorbias (a couple of which bloom for months). Coronilla has thrived and this years discovery - sphaeralcea ambigua 'Childerley has fitted into a sunny scheme of peach, oranges, bronze and plum colours' including a really nice figwort (phygelius 'African Queen'). I intend to search out more of the malva family, including abutilons. The little western agastache 'Apricot Sprite' and all the hybrid penstemons did well, which has prompted me to go in search of more of the species. A large blue flowered iochroma has been outstanding. Looking absolutely gorgeous right now - the many autumn sages. I love these shrubby salvias and, as they are so easy to propagate, I have many, in all shades apart from yellows (although I do have a pale La Luna s.jamensis and the creamy s.'San Antonio'). O, and cistus. I have several rock roses - some of which have grown enormous, but all of them do very well here, although they don't have the longest bloom time (lots better than my solitary paeonies though - the tough, but huge delavayi ludlowii). I like daisies but have had to bid goodbye to heleniums, symphiotrichum, rudbeckias, heliopsis, silphium, vernonia...none of these prairie plants survive my dry soil (sand, on chalk!), no matter how much amending I do. Surprisingly, dahlias have done rather well though...and I am going to give Korean Chrysanthemums a go, next year because I love the garden in September/October. All the late summer annuals I sow in May (tithonias, zinnia, callistephus, thunbergia, salpiglossis, tagetes et al, have been a fail so I am looking for late flowering perennials which thrive in Xeric conditions. I don't think I am going to manage any spring planting any more so this means only hardy annuals and autumn sown perennials (which is when I do all my seeds sowing). I have a caryopteris waiting to be planted up so it's good to hear they are drought survivors I guess it is obvious that I struggle with serene and austere palettes, so gentle evergreens, cool whites, glaucous leaves, and an emphasis on foliage and structure have not really gained any traction in my gaudy soul. When I succumbed to the lure of euphorbias, I felt I had finally joined the grown-up garden sophisticates club. At least a little bit. Oddly though, this craving for colour does not extend to roses, which I restrict to whites, creams, palest blush (although I bookend my plot with a couple of screamers - r.moyesii and Scharlachglut). The rest of the plot though, verges on the lurid. Extra amounts of orange and magenta! Writing down what looks like a long list has reminded me that the most egregious failures were the annuals - both flowers and vegetables, so no real disaster, while the plot survived remarkably well without any input from me (I pretty much abandoned it throughout July/August.) As for roses...well none died. They look OK apart from missing out on the later flush of blooms (hybrid musks). Of those which gallantly attempted later blooms (such as the ever-prolific Crepuscule), the florets were painfully...diminished and wilted looking. Since I mostly grow single bloomers, the roses are never up there on the kill-list because of drought or disease. Size though - a different (problematic) issue. After 20 years, some of them have had to be sent to the chipper. No amount of pruning will change an enthusiastic rambler into a mannerly bush. If anything, it makes the chaos and crowding worse ('growth follows the knife'). Still, there are bulbs...and many of these do very well indeed...in fact, the spring bulb industry is based in my area. I ordered a couple of hundred species tulips. I grow a lot of garden tulips, most of which are surprisingly perennial (dry, baked, drained), but the little wildlings are the spring stars of my gravel bed. 20 years ago, if you wanted these, you had to make do with the half dozen from bulb merchants or grow from seed (still the only way to get t.sprengeri and some of the rarer ones) but nowadays, a decent catalogue will hold at least a couple of dozen species tulips so I hope to see them used more widely. I certainly love them. Also, as a consolation for the dreadful failures this year, I went a bit mad, loitering on a Rare Plants website and ordered ridiculously costly little bulbs for close-up drooling in tiny pots...acis, tecophilea, romulea and over 1000 anemones, tulips, eremurus, iris, narcissus and such. I have spent my annual garden budget already. I was initially very shocked to see how incredibly slowly plants will grow with no irrigation. While they don't die, they seem to take years to actually establish. In my wood, it isn't uncommon for a shrub to sit for 5-7 (or more) years, apparently not growing an inch ...although it must be going on underground, out of sight...because after numerous seasons of doing nothing, they suddenly,emerge from near dormancy, into 'normal'* growth. * what I usually expect after a year or 2(at most) on the allotment, where I make an effort, at least for the first season.
...See More
Related Professionals
Clemson Landscape Architects & Landscape Designers · Brooklyn Center Landscape Architects & Landscape Designers · Brentwood Landscape Contractors · Manchester Landscape Contractors · Surprise Landscape Contractors · Bainbridge Island Landscape Contractors · Cliffside Park Landscape Contractors · Forest Hills Landscape Contractors · Middletown Landscape Contractors · North Highlands Landscape Contractors · Seminole Landscape Contractors · Waterford Landscape Contractors · Cedar Hill Swimming Pool Builders · Drexel Hill Swimming Pool Builders · Grand Rapids Swimming Pool Builders
blancawing
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Dear Kristi,

I am so very sorry about your loss and the circumstances surrounding it.

Just know that you do have a real family here.

Big virtual hugs,

Blanca
0
phoenixryan
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Kristi, you're story was very moving, and I feel for you and your loss. While still a newbie to these forums, it is obvious that the folks on here are like one big happy family, and you'll never be alone with friends like these!

HUGS!!!
Ryan
0
Noni Morrison
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
KRISTI, my sympathies for the hard time with your brother in the past, and the sadness that he was not able to cope with life without self medicating. Now you know that he will no longer be in trouble, scared, lonely, sick, or any of those things. He rests back in the earth and you are free to go on and live your life toits fulfillment. May your life be blessed now, and the sadness be laid to rest. You are SUPPOSED to take joy in your beautiful flowers and your beautiful dogs and they will heal the remaining sadness better then anything else except the laughter shared with friends. Embrace life!
0
juan_grow
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Dear Kristi iam sorry about your brother, i send a big hug and a prayer for your brother.
0
jodik_gw
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
You are SO not alone, Kristi... you're my "sister" in Texas! I can identify with your feelings, having somewhat similar family issues to deal with. I know well the helplessness and guilt at not being able to change the situation. We can only point someone in the right direction... we cannot make them go, and that's so unfortunate. It's very painful to watch those we love and care about make such self destructive choices... but we all have free will, and we all have to face the consequences of our choices in life. I'm terribly sorry for your loss, and my prayers include you.

You have much more than silent support, Kristi... at the bottom of every one of my emails is a phone number... and I'm usually here, at home... any time you feel the need to unburden yourself, rant, or just talk about anything, I'm here. Feel free to let your fingers do the walking, seriously.

On a lighter note, I did a bit of pollinating today, myself... I took Lemon Star pollen to the Queen of Hearts. There are still two blooms of the Queen open for pollen, so I'm weighing my choices.

Red Pearl opened two blooms today... or I should say, began to open... they'll be photographed tomorrow, I'm thinking. Lady Jane is ready to open her next bud, and that stressed Minerva is trying valiantly to open its final bud.

I hope your pollinations all take and grow into nice fat pods! I'm excited for you, Kristi... knowing that your bulbs from last year are growing scapes! It's a wonderful feeling to know that you had a hand in making them flower this time around!

The weather is finally getting a bit warmer... we're steadily moving toward spring! I planted more seeds today, including Hippi seeds left over from last year. I'm very interested to know exactly how long these can be kept, and still be viable.

I also planted one of my favorite annuals... Pineapple Sage! If you've never grown this, you must try it out in your garden! It gets quite large and really ends up looking like a shrub! The red flowers attract swarms of hummingbirds... they can't resist it! It blooms in the latter part of summer for me, but makes such a gorgeous display that I include it every year, saving two large spaces for it in the bulb bed. There's a blue flowered version, but I find it a bit too thin and sparse of a plant, and though pretty, it doesn't show up as well as the bright red of the Pineapple Sage!

Exotic Star is beginning to open its bud, and is slowly priming for a beautiful show... so is Red Peacock, that giant of a bulb I got earlier this season.

Lots happening in my jungle... and lots happening in yours, too, Kristi! I put your seeds to bed the other day, from list 1, and can't wait to see the little sprouts peek through the soil! This is so much fun!

On a humorous note... I'm sure I mentioned that I got a new pair of very comfy slippers for my Birthday... well, as I was getting ready to take Maia outside after her dinner, she very quietly, and without warning, filled my right slipper with upchucked supper! Ew! I was able to clean it up, so the slippers are fine... but... ew!

My Mom, God rest her soul, would put an arm around my shoulders when I was troubled, and she would say, "Tomorrow is a whole new day, Honey... you can always begin anew." Kristi, my Dear... tomorrow's a whole new day... begin fresh... and know that you have an entire family right here in this forum that cares about you. We're all behind you, ready to lend support should you need it.

If I could send a real hug as an email attachment, you'd be opening a really big file! :-)
0
citrusnut
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Kristi, sorry for your loss. Remember, you are a good person and did the best you knew how with your circumstances. And don't forget, that you always reached out to him and kept him in your heart. Also, I'm sure that your letters to him were a comfort. He knew you cared because you did care.
0
brigarif Khan
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
All of us have to carry our crosses.May GOD give us strength to go on. Wishing you a happy future.
Arif
0
pumas
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Oh Kristi You have my thoughts across the miles.Sometimes there's relief in just knowing,eh Maybe your brother will be at peace from the afflictions/addictions he carried.Maybe he'll be reborn a "grinner" and stroll across your fence top all smiles! Who knows these things...It's most encouraging that you do so well with your Hipps.I learn alot from your posts and I am grateful for that.You're a great person who can embrace her shortcomings and also bathe in your blessings humbly.I admire you and respect you. Peace&Support,Mark
0
PRO
Jan Sword-Rossman Realty 239-470-6061
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Deal Kristi,
I am new here but I wanted to offer my support & prayer.
Hugs!!!
Jan
0
hatta
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Dear Kristi,

I am also new here, I would like to let you know that my thoughts are with you. As you said in the first post, you are moving forward ... all the best from me.

Regards,
Hatta
0
kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Thanks everyone. It's tough...I'm used to "doing" something about a situation, and now all I can do is let it sink in. Even though we were estranged, he was still my brother and I loved him. He seemed to equate help with money, and I'm just making it on my own. I had looked into getting him into and paying for in-house rehab, but he told me he didn't have a problem. You can't help someone who doesn't want it. This has been a hard lesson for me....I am a "helper" and he rejected me years ago.

ON A BRIGHTER NOTE...my Lemon-star greeted me this morning (I left the house at 4:50 to help my friend and her fiance load the car and clear out the apt to move to NYC). 10 minutes into their drive, I got a call...they'd missed the turn off for the major east-bound highway...and I got them turned around and back on it. They have an AAA trip tik...not they just need to USE IT! :-)

SOMEONE TAKE THE TAPES>>>>PLEASE!!!!
:-)
K
0
jodik_gw
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Kristi... maybe it sounds lame, but your brother is in a better place now, unencumbered by the needs and wants and pains of the earthbound. He's finally at peace, and you can take some solace in that.

In the age of GPS, no one should get lost on our nation's highways! I'm fairly good with directions, but Larry can get lost at the end of the driveway! I'm always frustrated by his lack of directional skills... some of us have them, and some of us don't! I'll never understand it!

Isn't Lemon Star lovely?! I do like this one! As is ages, it gets prettier... give it a few days!
0
gmwill
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Dear Kristi,

Thank you very much for sharing your life with us.
Life is never dull when we remember to reach out to our friends. Sadness only reminds us to really appreciate Joy when we have it.

Best Wishes!
0
kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Jodi....she has a GPS, but I KNOW they didn't program the entire trip into it. She was relying on visual and trip tik. She was navigating and Eric was driving. At least once they got on I-10 they stayed put for 420 miles. I just spoke to her and they are good...on track. Of course, it's supposed to snow from Atlanta to NY tomorrow. I felt very motherly telling her that it didn't matter if they took an extra day, they need to arrive in 1 piece, not on time. AND...it's not so much them as "the other guy". She is from Phili so snow driving isn't new to her and he's been in NYC all winter so they know it can be dangerous.

Off to make a cheesecake and clean out the car. Got a surprise call that a guy who's in town from out of state wants to take me to dinner! WHOO HOOO...of course my car is jam packed with cleaning supplies, plants, etc and all the things Jessie and Eric couldn't fit into theirs. I am shipping them a box with their aloe plant (sentimental) and some other things. Ahhhhh...kids!
:-)

K
(and I'm doing fine....just weird to think that he's gone...and yes, I'll dwell on this in my head for a long time...)
0
anna_in_quebec
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Dear Kristi - how I do sympathize. 6 years ago I was at work, and got an email (an email!) that my brother had died. I must have sat at my desk staring at the screen for awhile - stunned. What a way to find out. It was October, and he died, alone, sometime back in August. What was I doing at that moment - in August - as he was dying, alone? Gardening? Swimming? Laughing? This will haunt me to my death. He too had a troubled life, addiction and all of that goes with such a life. But we were close when we were younger. Not a day goes by I don't think of him.
((((Hugs)))
0
kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Dear Anna,
I am so glad that there is someone who really understands the shock of getting such a message after being in nearly the same shoes. I also was thinking about what I may have been doing on 2/11/06. I was preparing to go on a huge trip to Australia and New Zealand. I was happy....and he was sick or injured (I still don't have the coroner's report but that should come today or Monday). I am thrilled that he was married, as maybe she was able to comfort him in some way.

He was nearly 5 years older, and we hadn't ever been very close. When I was 8 and he was 13 he started down the road that eventually led to his demise. I think we may have had a good relationship from the time I was 3 until I was 8...too short of a time. Sad to think that it was only 5 years.

You shouldn't let your brother's situation haunt you. Yes...it bothers us...but we had no control over it. It's not like someone called and we ignored them. My brother had my phone numbers, but somehow I am doubting that his wife even knows that I exist. I am going to let sleeping dogs lie. I'm sure I'll be questioning this for a long time to come, but I need to forgive him and myself for any missed opportunities.

:-) BIG HUG!
Kristi
0
jodik_gw
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Kristi, you seem very grounded, and I always get the feeling that you're a very strong and independent person... I'm very glad to know that you have a good handle on recent events.

And more hugs for you, Kristi... I think you'll be fine. You have your feet set solidly on the ground, and a good head on your shoulders. I think you're looking at everything from a good perspective. But even so, we're here.
0
kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Thanks again....something really weird (2 nanoseconds) happened today. When my brother had housing he shared a mobile home with his wife. It was on the outskirts of Oroville, CA. Today on my way home from getting the "kids" off to NYC, I passed a trailer park that looked very much like his. I don't know why I did, but I glanced down the main road in it and half expected to see his truck. He hasn't had the truck since about 1998, so I don't know WHY I expected to see it, but I know that one of the steps in the "process" is that you look for the person you have lost. I really did expect to see his truck. It was so weird. I immediately told myself he doesn't live there, etc....but it was an odd moment.

I don't know how strong I am (good outside, weaker inside) but I am independent. I have to be since I have to depend on me being there for me...ya know!!

Off to go get showered and dressed for a DATE!!! (first one in too long). Have a good evening!
:-)
K
0
elizabeth_jb
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Sometimes, we don't say much because it still hurts so bad inside.

I lost my brother, 13 months younger than me in a tragic accident. Even though he lived in Texas, we were close and there were times that he moved in with me. I can't imagine what I would have done without him in my early years as I moved from city to city and he and my younger brother were there to help me move.

I am so sorry for your your loss, and OMG, I wish I had a date, but that's okay becuase I have a house full of teenage boys staying over tonight.

They are a hand full, and a joy!

Have a BLAST!!!

Ann
0
beachplant
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
First my sympathies on your brother. I understand completely. My brother had an addiction problem for years. He now has seizures, has become very religious and won't associate with us. We had no word from him for 2 months after Hurricane Ike. It was a relief to find him alive and well but we all dread the phone call.

Second, and most important, How Was The Date??? We're all on pins and needles here wondering.

You know if you ever need to get away we have a spare bedroom, if you don't mind a dog bugging you, and you are always welcome for a beach vacation. I'll search your bags on the way out for hippi bulbs!!LOL!
Tally HO!
0
kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Dear Elizabeth,
I am so sorry that you carry so much pain inside. I think I know how bad it is...only because the death of both parents still causes much pain. We ache for them and the "hole" that they leave. Lucky you to be so close to your brother. I will never know the closeness of a sibling as he and I were the only 2 children. He was my parent's biological child and they adopted me from birth. Sometimes I think he didn't like me...and he was the only family member to ever treat me differently or said anything about me not "really" being family. This was especially obvious when my dad died and made me the executor of the estate (younger child...and in my brother's opinion "not blood"), so maybe that's why he cut me out of his life. I could try to guess for years, but am trying to close the book on a chapter that was particularly painful. I beat myself up for years, and now that he's gone, I have to let the pain and the "shoulda, coulda, woulds" go. I don't claim this to be a universal approach, but I can get on with my life not worrying about him and I am glad that he's not in need of anything. He wouldn't take any help I offered unless it involved a "dead president" (I heard someone refer to money as that and thought it was clever). So...the weight is off my shoulders. I am still sad and will be everytime I think of him...but I can't let it drag me down. MY HIPPIS NEED ME to be happy!!

THE DATE was nice (ok, it's 9PM and I'm home....) this was dinner with Ed. I met him on a cruise in 1997 (they thought we were a married couple!!) and we have dinner every year. He lives in IL and I usually catch up with him on the way to a dog show. He happened to drive his new car down towards Houston and invited me to a very nice Italian resturant. New car??? His old Miata was just fine by me...fun and zippy (I used to have a convertible too), but the new car is fun and zippier. A new Porche boxter! Boys and their toys.

Tomorrow is another "date" of sorts. Going to a wine tasting and meeting a friend (Alan) there. Asked him what I should bring and he recommended cheesecake, so I made a Chocolate Kaluha chocolate chip cheesecake with ganauche(?) on top!

:-) see what these guys are missing?? Handy in the yard AND kitchen??
Kristi
0
frank27603
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Kristi, Anna and Ann- I never have the right things to say, but wanted to let you all know that you are in my thoughts and prayers for comfort and peace. He will bring you to it and he will bring you through it.

-Frank
0
kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Frank....You ALWAYS have the right thing to say. Thanks for caring about us. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Just hours before I found out, I walked to Barnes and Nobel and bought a great book (at least the first chapter is wonderful); it's titled "Total Forgiveness" and one of the people I needed to forgive was my brother. See....things happen and we don't even think about the "Master plan".

Have a great Sunday!
K
0
jodik_gw
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
See? We are sisters! I'm adopted, too! :-)

That cheesecake sounds beyond wonderful... I can picture it in my head, and I can feel my butt getting bigger as a result! I don't even have to eat sweets to gain the weight! LOL!

I'm glad your "dating" is going well... a few distractions are good right about now, I'm sure! I've always felt that everything happens for a reason... and that in the end, it's all exactly how it's supposed to be... I guess you could it a Master Plan...

You might have to be strong for yourself, but never think you're alone! You're only a phone call away, Kristi! And I mean that. Bottom of every email...

I hope you have fun wine tasting... it does sound fun! I've never done that... funny, because we were looking at wines yesterday at the store, trying to find a decent pinot noir for a dinner.

Kristi, Ann, Anna, and everyone... you're all always part of my prayers... and I wish the very best for everyone. Life is full of twists and turns, and I think the difficult parts serve to make us stronger in some ways. I wish I had something poetic to say... just reading all these heartfelt responses... you can feel the "family". :-)
0
mariae
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Dear Kristi, you ARE a very DEAR person. You have the affection of all these people not related to you, but related in a way you couldn't imagine.
The most difficult thing in life is to recognized that in different ways we all need help, that we all have problems, it is a pity some people just don't get it, but it is not your mistake to try to give it. You have nothing to repent of, but I understand it is so difficult to watch when it is just out of our hands.
Don't be sad he is in a good place and be sure life will show you how he appreciate everything you have done.
Mariae.
0
belfair
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Kristi:
You are definitely not alone. The next time I am in Houston visiting my kids I hope we can get together. I would love to take you to dinner to thank you for the seeds I received last week. I fly in and out of IAH and it looks like you are not too far north of there. I get there several times a year so I"ll look you up!
0
e36yellowm3
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Kristi, so sorry to hear. Sometimes the things that weigh us down are made somewhat easier with friends to support us - and it sounds like you've got a great bunch here :-) You've got my support as well. Alana
0

Some Hippi, some OT and offer

Comments (29)

kitty747

haxuan

Related Discussions

Related Professionals

blancawing

phoenixryan

Noni Morrison

juan_grow

jodik_gw

citrusnut

brigarif Khan

pumas

Jan Sword-Rossman Realty 239-470-6061

hatta

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author

jodik_gw

gmwill

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author

anna_in_quebec

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author

jodik_gw

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author

elizabeth_jb

beachplant

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author

frank27603

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author

jodik_gw

mariae

belfair

e36yellowm3

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

Some Hippi, some OT and offer

Comments (29)

Related Discussions

Related Professionals

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)Original Author

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)Original Author

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)Original Author

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)Original Author

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)Original Author

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)Original Author

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author

kaboehm (zone 9a, TX USA)
Original Author