I haven't checked this forum for quite a while. Ginger, you work on West End? So do I. I work at Vanderbilt University. I know someone named Ginger who also works at Vanderbilt but I guess that's not you, is it? As for cooking, I used to love to cook and love to make up my own recipies. I don't have much time to cook anymore but sometimes make a spaghetti sauce that I really like over angel hair pasta or rice. Also, I like to make various kinds of soups. Things that I can have for 2 or more days. Soups are easy, just put in the things I like and let it simmer. I need to get out my crockpot and start using it again. I forgot that I had one. Judith

"Wow! Was she there? Does she realize I didn't want to get married but he asked and yes I change my mind but NOT because I was pregnant. Not ALL of my marriage with exDH was awful." Before I met DH, I can't tell how many men I dated talked badly about their ex. I had more first dates that included how he was trapped or how she turned out to be a cheater, took him to the cleaners.... the whole marriage was bad! It was definitely a deal breaker for me to hear that on a first date so I didn't have a second date with anyone until I met my DH. I think lots of guys feel they need to make the new woman feel secure that there are no lingering feelings for their ex, so they talk her down... or they rewrite history to put all the blame on the ex to make themselves look better. Or whatever the reason, I noticed it a lot when I was dating & the last thing I ever wanted was a guy that hates his ex... because if I am ever his ex, that would be me he's talking that way about too. My DH talked well about his ex. I met her, I liked her but couldn't see what his attraction to her is. She's taller & more athletic than he is and she isn't very attractive. (she has a huge mouth) but she seemed nice. Over time though, she presented herself badly. She was loud, abrasive, demanding, and reminded me of a tomboy. She calls herself a redneck, wears trashy clothes. She likes to be the center of attention & gets in your face. She has no class & I couldn't imagine her with my DH ~ he's mellow, an OCD neat freak, doesn't drink/smoke (she does both), just completely different than her. I'm short, quiet, more of a homebody like DH. Of course, DH told me she was not like that when he was with her, and I have seen her change when she is single vs. when she is seeing someone. She's like a chameleon to be what the guy she's with wants. Who knows what kind of person she truly is? But,that she has shown her true colors, I think she is downright ugly... but it's not about her looks completely, it's more about the things she does to her daughter that disgust me. She put pictures of her falling down drunk on her social network site & her daughter writes "haha, look at mom!", she discusses court proceedings with her daughter, etc. (That was before SD came to live with us F/T) So, I liked her at first but as time went on, I then started to see things that, as a mom, disturbed me a little... but thought "to each their own". I wouldn't want my kids to see me falling down drunk. DH says pretty much the same thing, though he never saw her being a bad mom... she tried to play the role of perfect wife/mother but over time, he caught her stealing money from him & he thinks she was cheating just before they split up. She's now with a new BF, playing super mom to his kids & doing the same thing... new guy, new baby, same game. When he started to see her reality, she got pregnant so he stays with her... at least for now. Again, it disgusts me to see another child starting life the way she had SD & I can only hope/pray that she does not do to this new child, what she's done to SD. Only time will tell. The dislike I had for her has turned to complete disgust (I don't hate her, I think despise is a better word) as she is slowly destroying her daughter... each time I think she can't sink any lower, she proves me wrong.(I mean who comes late to a birthday, no gift & refuses to spend an extra hour? But then she has to add insult to injury by telling her that her poor new baby has suffered long enough to even be there... I've never wanted to slap someone so much as I did that day, standing there hearing the words come out of her huge mouth!) I don't think anyone can say what really happened in a past marriage. Only the partners of the marriage know their own perspective... and each may rewrite history a little or a lot but they will definitely see things differently.

The newest version of Tess of the D'Urbervilles is set to be shown on MASTERPIECE CLASSICS on PBS in two 2-hour episodes, commencing 4 January 2009. See link below for more info. I caught an installment when I was in England and wished I could have seen the rest. It looked, from what I saw, to be a more detailed adaptation than either the A&E version of the 1990s or Roman Polanski's film. I found a couple of the young actors rather annoying, including the one playing Tess -- she wasn't very expressive, in my opinion, but maybe she was better in other parts. But the older actors seemed well cast, including the wonderful Anna Massey as Mrs D'Urberville. Yep, Tess and most of Hardy's books are real downers -- Little Father Time in Jude, oh mercy!! But I have a real soft spot for Tess. I guess I first read it at exactly the right time for me. Here is a link that might be useful: Tess on Masterpiece

I do have fears for myself. My sister and I were diagnosed with a slowly progressive muscle wasting disease when I was 17 and she was 27. Told then that we would be wheel chair dependent in 10 to 15 years. Actually, we both kept on our feet with little difficulty till in our 60's. At age 70, for each of us, things started to change quickly. My sister is now in a nursing home unable to do little more than putting a spoon to her mouth. Six months ago, I was able to walk short distances with a cane. Today I must have a walker for those very short distances, then transfer to a scooter. I cannot stand unaided to do anything. After all the years of struggling, but somehow managing with a little help to do most things I wanted to do, this all seemed to happen in a matter of a few weeks.. I don't want to be so dependent that I need someone to wipe my butt, etc. I am now dreading getting up each new day. I don't want to do this anymore!