I'll tackle the question of the large grass. By "Maidenhair" I assume you mean Maiden Grass, or Miscanthus sinensis, specifically M.s. 'Gracillimus.' It's a very large grass, which needs at least a 5' diameter circle when it matures. It also can flop for a number of reasons, including maturity, too much water, too much fertilizer and too little sun.

This grass is supposed to be cut down to a few inches from the ground in early spring, just before it's new growth starts to show. That's also the best time to move and/or divide it. Unfortunately, it is not an easy grass to move or divide. It requires a very sharp and stout spade to dig it out and to divide it. It isn't uncommon to use a sharp axe for the division.

You can't make it smaller by trimming around the edge of the crown. The reason is the new growth is there, while old growth is in the center. These grasses tend to die out in the center, so if you remove the perimeter, you're left with the least healthy part of the plant.

The best bet is to move this grass to a spot of it's own, where it can't overgrow other plantings. If you want to make smaller versions, divide it, and replant chunks from the perimeter.

There are definately grasses with more upright forms than Maiden Grass. One of the most popular these days is Calamagrostis x acutiflora 'Karl Foerster.' Google it to see what it looks like.

I am pretty much done moving my plants for this fall. I try to do my changes during Sept and a couple weeks into Oct, which is now. I am pretty safe then, plants have always done well with fall moves. Bulb planting is OK until the ground freezes. We are just so wet, I don't like getting soaked while crawling around in the dirt! I still have to get some mulch down and will be shredding leaves, ONCE they finally fall down!! I put all the shreds on my beds for additional winter protection, but they get eaten by worms so fast in spring, they don't last as mulch.

Maybe with such large grasses, you can give it a try now anyway. If they move well, good. A job done. If not, you have more to replace them with. I would go ahead and trim off my sedums, if they are withering. I left them one year for interest, thought they were pretty ugly all dried up!!

You really have to use a sharp shovel, longer handle for leverage, maybe with a longer blade too. A gardening shovel or the special "Poacher" model with an extremely long blade, to allow you to get down into grass roots and under, to lift them out. Sharp will cut thru roots, not let the plant laugh at you by not letting shovel into the ground.

I don't cut into the woody part of Lavanders. I remove any dead stems after it leafs out. Trim new growth back for more bushy look, again after leafing out. Mine don't do well with removal of live old woody parts, sometimes just die. Plus they all look pretty dead for a long time in spring, which is why I wait for leafing out!

Many of us keep referring new gardeners to the book "The Well Tended Perennial Garden" by Tracy D'Sabato-Aust. You can find this in most book stores or at their online sites. She references enough plants to give you a working knowledge about what to do with perennials. She has some other good tips, too. My feeling is if you're not sure what to do, then leave your perennials until spring and let them die back naturally. They'll be fine and it's safer that way. Once you get more comfortable, you can trim back certain ones once they dieback in the fall if you prefer to do it that way. The exceptions are the annuals which you should always remove after they die.

I think you did OK with the lavender. You never cut any woody plant back in the fall. You did the right thing by waiting until after your last frost (late May?) to trim them up - when you see new buds break on the stems. They probably took so long because you trimmed them too short. Don't cut so far down next time. I trim mine back to about 5 inches from the base. New plants are a little slow to get started anyway and they don't like to be moved.

You're past the window in Zone 5 for transplanting so wait until spring. Your plants should be in the ground a minimum of 4 weeks before your first frost and you've already had that. Up here, we try to finish transplanting by mid-September. I can't say I don't break that rule, but I wouldn't recommend it this late. Especially after what just happened to our neighbors in Buffalo! Winter is too fickle around here.

As donn said, some grasses can be beastly and it sounds like yours are in the wrong place. The tall grasses make a good hedge, so if you need privacy anywhere, these would be good candidates - just give them room to grow. Grasses are very hardy and they're much easier to move when the ground is saturated. If yours have fallen over, you could cut them down now because they're not attractive to look at this way or stake and tie them so they're standing upright. There are many grasses to pick from, but I'll second the Karl Foerster. It is well behaved, gets about 4-1/2 feet tall and remains upright.

Thanks for the great suggestions and advice! I would love to try the Karl Foerster grsss, I googled it and it's really beautiful, I think I have admired those in various gardens around here this past year. We have a chain link fence around the perimeter of our very small back yard (which is about 20 x 40 ft), and if we decide not to spring for a wood privacy fence, that might be a good alternative to hide the chain link.

Thanks for the advice about the lavendar - I didn't know about the woody plants only being pruned in spring, so it's a good thing I asked before hacking away out there!

I'm glad to hear, actually, that I should wait till next Spring to transplant, I'm so swamped with work right now. The maiden grass is a real conundrum, my BF loves it and wants to keep it, but I can already see where the center area is thinner, and it flops a lot more than it used to. He will not like starting over with that initial "bare" look of new plantings, but it's taking up too much space in the front bed, and space is at a premium around here. Seems like everything the previous owners planted was done as a fast fix-up to sell the house, without regard to spacing or considering how plants would mature. I've made so many mistakes with my own plantings, too, that my garden never looks filled in and established, since I have to keep moving things. Those grasses were the one plant that looked full and lush, even though now they've gone a bit too far.

One question on grass variety and color - they flank the main front window of the house, and we have a fieldstone facade, so the ligher green with the white stripe looks really nice with the stone. Since we have the lawn in front of the bed, I thought this was a more striking transition, rather than planting a tall grass that is also a darker green (though the plumes are to die for!) Are there any tall, upright varieties that would be less like the color of the lawn? I would be totally happy with this maiden grass if it would just stand up better. I do think I will end up staking it through Fall and Winter, anyway.

Well, there's one of my squirrels out there waiting for her afternoon handout. Thanks again for the input!

....it is past the point of transplanting around zone 5 if you are moving a active growing plant, but you can wait until plants are completely dormant and still move them as long as the ground isn't frozen. Transplanting dormant plants prevents shock :D Even though dormant you will still have to water them in to settle the soil around the root ball.

Vera

Diane..for a fairly tall, upright grass that isn't the same color as the lawn, take a look at Panicum virgatum 'Heavy Metal.' Another, which also has the "plumes to die for" is Miscanthus sinensis var strictus.

Check out the link below. You may also want to pick the brains of the folks on the Ornamental Grasses Forum. They should be able to offer suggestions. New varieties seem to come out every year. I'm just getting into grasses myself. They're so cool. I was hooked after I planted my first Karl Foerster.

Here is a link that might be useful: Ornamental Grass