It's always complicated when mom knows...it's important that she have a confidante somewhere that doesn't take sides. If she and her husband can work this out, which they can if they both want to, then they need people cheering them on heart and soul. Otherwise, each time they see you it will remind them of their failures - I recommend the BEST book written for this situation, for her: How Can I Forgive You, by Janis Abrahms Spring. Also, After The Affair by the same author. She's excellent. Better to work it out with a willing parter and create a real relationship (it wasn't real before and during the affair) than to leave, bitter and with baggage. On the ohter hand, if he or she is unwilling, then there's not much that can be done. There are few things in this world more profound and meaningful than going through the painful process of forgiveness and repentance. Once accomplished correctly, nothing can compare. As a mother, your (faked if necessary) neutrality will allow her to make that decision to stay and work on it or to leave, all on her own, which will make her stronger. Hard, isn't it? This life is about learning and growing, changing, discovering what you didn't know about yourself, tweeking, perfecting - this could be an amazing opportunity as painful as it may be for your daughter and husband to truly look at themselves and each other for what is real and what they could have once they become real with each other. Just stinks that sometimes people have to do it the hard way!

Freezetag~ I feel your pain! I had almost the same exact thing happen to me. My DH likes "big boy toys" and found a Mini Rod that he just had to have. This thing cost $1000! He has done this w/ several things, found something, had to have it, got it, then in a month it was boring & he wanted something else. So, when he brought it up, I said that I didn't think it was a good idea b/c we had just bought Christmas presents, his work was slow & money was just tight in general. He continued to tell me how cool it was & that he really wanted it, etc. I kept saying (very calmly & nicely, mind you) that he really didn't need it & that it cost a lot of money that we really couldn't afford, etc. Well, he proceeded to get dressed (we were talking over coffee) and walk out the door to go purchase it. As he was leaving, I said again that I did not want him to buy this thing (I wasn't so nice this time) and his reply was, "I don't care." The door shut & he returned w/ this $1000 piece of junk. I didn't get mad b/c he didn't do what I wanted. I got mad b/c he did the wrong thing. Plus, he did it the day before we got married... Lovely start to a marriage there! Plus, there have been very few times that I have said, "No, don't buy -----", I usually don't care b/c we've usually got the extra $. But, when it came time for him to stand up and be a responsible adult, he couldn't do it. We had a very big fight over this & I explained to him why this was so childish, irresponsible, disrespectful, etc... and now I'm over it. But guess what? The toy is old now, he hasn't looked @ it, touched it, or even mentioned it for about 3 weeks now. It still gets to me every time I see it or think about it, but I know it's in the past & I'm trying not to dwell on it... Your story just sounded so much like mine, I'm glad I'm not the only one... I suppose misery loves company... LOL.

You kidding? I bet the junkyard knew what it had.... and that it is now being sold somewhere for a heck of a lot more than $8!

Thanks Susan. I am a Verizon Wireless customer and I need a new phone. I'm going to check this out. I'm not a techie, but it looks like this is a user friendly phone so that means the most to me. Susan