I'm sorry about the loss of Otto. I have a cat but she is an inside cat with the exception of brief forays onto the porch when I'm there to oversee her.
I hope your new garden is all that you imagined it would be; and I hope as well that your next cat will be an inside cat.

"niminy piminy pathetic excuse for a tree" My sentiments exactly.

Try finding some shade to park your car in CA when the temps are in three digits and you like to not dehydrate your child as she gets back in the car--which, where I lived, MUST be locked and clubbed if you ever expect to see it again--and the only vegetation in sight is those red foliaged runts.

campanula, I am also very sorry about Otto. It sounds like he was just meant to live fast and die young.

To me the description of your new garden sound very lovely. And if you really miss your old garden style, as you said by yourself no need to worry, you may have it back in three years. So all seems to be good :-)!

Any photos, yet? I would love to see your newly planted yard including the tree.

Christina

Here is a link that might be useful: Organic Garden Dreams

I also am sorry for your loss. I owned a dog that seemed hellbent on self-destruction. I'm sure people must have thought we were terribly irresponsible but we weren't. He was adopted as an adult and used every opportunity to dash out the door (opened a mere sliver) and onto the highway. And when I say highway I mean 6 lanes of US 1 which those in NE US are familiar with. When I would run after him he would run farther away. I had to turn my head as an 18 wheeler was bearing down on him but he came to his senses and stepped back from death at the last second.

There were many runaway episodes and those early years had me asking "Why did I want a dog". Perhaps the most telling fact is that after his death we have not gotten another. I loved him greatly but...

Suzy, I'm so deeply sorry about Otto. I can well imagine your grief and the inevitable feeling of guilt. I had an adult rescue dog that would not stay in my (former) five acre fenced property. She dug hole after hole in her attempts to get to the neighbor's property where there were three other dogs. Nothing helped and nothing would deter her. The end came when she ate a poisoned gopher there and died of internal bleeding. I cried almost nonstop for two days and yet, like you, what could have been done differently?

I think in no time your garden will be wonderful and uniquely you. If your children aren't helping I'd tell them to stuff it. The blood, sweat and tears are yours and so should the garden be.

Take care.

Ingrid

I am so sorry about your precious Otto. We lost our absolutely perfect yellow lab/sharpei cross Sadie to cancer last August. I called her my angel dog because after I can't tell you how many dogs that dug gaping holes in my flowerbeds, chewed shoes and furniture, chased cars, horses, etc. etc., we got Sadie. I still miss her.

By December, my husband was miserable without a dog so off we went to the pound. We adoped a beautiful 11-month old Doberman who chased the minis (horses), the big horses, the cows, and has run my four cats to the woods. They only come home to eat because they are so afraid of this dog (Annabelle). We bought an electronic collar, and it was an amazing transformation. She comes when she's called and has quite chasing everything but the cats. Thank heavens we are nowhere near a busy road, but I have to worry about coyotes and bobcats, though. I have coaxed one cat back onto the screen porch and am working on the others.

Your garden will soon be exactly what you want it to be, I feel sure of that. I'm afraid mine is like your original garden, as I'm a plonker and an impulse buyer. I have a rule that if you aren't willing to labor in the garden, you have no sayso about what's planted in it.

Does it mean I'm hard hearted when I say that I think that pets can be allowed some risk in exchange for a happy life? Our cats and dog are indoor/outdoor animals and probably won't live as long as they would staying in the house full time, but they do have a lovely time, or at least fully lived. (Our dog came bloodied and whimpering up to DH the other day; evidently he lost a battle with another male, and has been nursing his wounds beside the wood stove ever since.) The cats are competent sorts, have been with us several years and manage to stay out of the way of martens and foxes and dogs. Naturally they all get their annual shots and checkup, and the cats are spayed.

Having said this, town life can be viciously hard on wandering pets. We had a cat massacre in my old neighborhood, evidently due to a cat-hating neighbor. I had two cats poisoned and another that died from being bashed on the head. Ah, civilization!!

About the garden. When you make a garden for a customer, you mainly have to make it beautiful, functional--maintenance not harder than necessary--and adapted to the client's needs and tastes. Fine. The personal garden of an excellent gardener is a different story altogether. This is high art. Here is where you express your creativity, your knowledge of and love of plants, the fruits of your activity seeking and propagating. The abundance and profusion of plants would never, I think, find its way into a garden made for a customer. Hardly anyone who is commissioning a garden would appreciate a gardener's plant collection to the point of being willing to pay for it.
Certain kinds of art aren't readily commercializable (is that a word?). Painting and sculpture, music, can be created as discrete units and sold without difficulty. But the art of throwing a really good party (something my two sisters excel at), is not something you can really do for someone else. Neither is creating a truly fabulous garden of the plant-rich kind. And this is the reward of being an artist. Most artists don't make a lot of money, and they may have serious concerns about retirement, paying the winter's heating bills, or sending their children to college. But they can also have the kind of gardens--and parties--that money just can't buy.

As far as your kids and their opinions are concerned, if they aren't ready to get out and dig, I'd tell them to find their own gardens to plan. Any kind of realization of a project is distressing, being as it is a collision with reality; and gardens take a while to mature. You have a skinny adolescent garden right now, I imagine, but it will fill out.

Melissa

So sorry to here of Otto's demise. Many years ago our veterinarian stated: "God has seen to it that dogs and cats have short lives so that good people can take care of many of them." I kind of like that sentiment and hope it helps you also.
About a year ago the last of our three dogs died. All three had been with us for many years and died of old age. Whatever that may be.
So one year later and we are going through puppy maddness. We have mostly gotten our dogs from the local pound; but for some crazy notion we decided to get a pedigree. Well she is cute as all getout. Work. Oh my. And those wee wee pads...she thinks they are to shred. And so it goes. Oh she's a St. Bernard. Yeah I know...just too fun.
Jeannie

Melissa, you could never be hard-hearted and your point of view is one I would always respect. Just yesterday I chased three huge dogs off our property that someone in the neighborhood is allowing to roam free, and who deposit large piles of excrement on our property, and are the reason my cat can no longer enjoy being outside, even when I'm with him, because he can smell their presence. Our Yorkie doesn't want to go out and our rat terrier would live a very short life indeed with rattlesnakes, bobcats, coyotes and mountain lions in the area. My last sweet dog, a female pit bull, would have never hurt a fly but would have terrified the neighbors if she had been allowed to run loose, but she got several walks a day and had a large yard and the house to be in.

Your comments about gardens are profoundly wonderful and insightful. You manage to express what I think many of us feel but don't have your ability to put into words. I'm so glad you're on OUR forum rather than the one about growing eggplants or raising carp!

Ingrid

Campanula...I must say, I find your writing style quite lovely. I bet you could write about a trip to the grocery store, and make it something I'd want to curl up and read with a cup of hot chocolate. Sorry about Otto.
As far as the garden. My teacher used to say, "Some people have gardens, and some people have plant collections"
Well, I guess I would have to say that I have a plant collection, even though I call myself a landscape designer. So what, ok, then I have sacrificed having a garden, so I can do plant research...It still looks good to me, even though I advise others to simplify the plant list!

Ingrid,
You and I live in different situations. We're in an area of low population density: there just aren't that many people, or dogs, around, and dogs can roam without making themselves as obnoxious as they do in your neighborhood. I wouldn't like the situation you describe either. If I lived in a more populous area I wouldn't let my dog run around; and I'd probably have a female animal, as they usually stick closer to home. Our property is also not one that can be enclosed by a fence, not even the "yard" portion of it. I agree with your observations about dogs running loose in more populated areas. I never had a dog until we lived here; and then I succumbed to family pressure. But it's dog heaven here.
Thanks for your kind words; the subject is close to my heart.
Melissa

our animals are kind of like children - much as we might fantasise that they are a blank slate, ready to be primed and prepared by us adults, they prove over and over again to have their very own individual characters. Of course, I grind my teeth with envy, watching the neighbourhood cats rarely venture forth (including Josie, my daughter's cat also living with us) while our collie has never run off in her 13 years - I could leave her waiting outside a shop for days! Not so our wild adventuring cat, nor the disobedient lurcher: after one spectacular disappearance, I made the dog warden take him away - which he did....to the local police pound. Relenting (as usual), I went to collect him and the police asked whether he was a 'tug of love' dog? I could hear him howling several streets away.
Nonetheless, in England, we have a saying to describe an impossible task: 'like herding cats'. Dogs do as they are told (more or less) while cats are their own masters. Someone, Sally, I think, said cat love was a sickness. How right she is. While I have promised never again, I miss my little boy desperately. Even so, I am loathe to bring a cat into this dangerous urban environment - we see missing cat posters all over the neighbourhood. Feral cats have a very short life expectancy of around 4 years whereas domestic cats can easily clock up 16 years or so. Of course, seeing as they spend at least 18 hours of every day sleeping instead of roaming, fighting, mating and hunting........
As always, thank you for your lovely and thoughtful responses. Otto has occupied his own little space on this forum so I dreaded having to write about his ending. So very grateful that no-one is telling me what a useless cat carer I am.

I've seen too many cats die on our street, or disappear. We get a lot of traffic going to a nearby hospital. Our first cat refused to stay inside, and was a clever girl who could open doors and dart out between our legs as soon as the door was cracked open. Otto must have been like her, although she never went to any wild parties that we knew about. My last two have been reasonably content indoor kitties. I'm sorry for your loss, Suzy.

Several different families thought the my neighbor's cat, Bugsy, was their own. He made quite the rounds, getting fed and pampered. They finally put a tag around his neck and got an irate phone call from someone who accused my neighbors of claiming THEIR cat! Bugsy was another who could push in screens or open doors. He disappeared, and we always hoped somebody stole him rather than him coming to an untimely end. He was a black and white "tuxedo" cat and I find that they have really bold personalities, and have to be in the middle of everything that is happening.

Suzy, I know that your new garden is going to be terrific, but I share everybody else's hopes that it is full of plants that you love rather than adhering too closely to design principles. The good news is that the plants will fill it all in, if you let them.

I'd love to see photos.
Anita

I'm so sorry Otto is gone. Gosh, they leave such a hole in your heart when they leave that really doesn't go away. I long for another black Standard Poodle to hug and in whose eyes I can see Pepper, but DH says no. I think probably the thing for you to do is get another one, maybe a female who's a little more shy, and fill your life with purring again.

Dear Suzy, everyone has said some very true things about gardening (I still love everyone on this Forum). I believe your garden will mature into a wondrous thing. You have blessed it with good bones and a proper design, and you will add the appropriate beauties along the way - appropriate because they please your heart and your sense of style and beauty. Your expertise at garden design will be apparent every day, and it will make you proud. It will mature into a jewel filled with your plant collection but not so anyone will think it's just a bunch of oddities. Visitors will be catching their breathe at this or that rare and stunning plant specimen, placed perfectly in your garden. Not an overstatement because your heart will guide your shovel and make it so. You of all people know I'm right. It will be fine, I promise.

Sherry

Here is a link that might be useful: If only sweat were irrigation...

We had always let our 3 cats run inside and outside whenever they wanted to, until the dreaded Tristan (large male cat) moved next door. My cats were all females, and were all over 16 years old at the time. One by one, he got them and beat them up, to the tune of $400 plus vet bills. Bitten all over - I have no idea what is wrong with him.

When my cats all died at about the age of 18, we got two new baby female kittens. Tristan did (and still does) live next door, so there was no way I was going to let him savage the kittens. Just before we got them, he had gotten the female outdoor cat of our tenants (house is a duplex), again to the tune of hundreds of dollars of vet bills.

I read up on it, and decided to see if I could get them to wear harnesses so that I could take them for walks daily. It worked! You evidently have to start when they are kittens, or it doesn't work. You let them play with the harnesses for a few days, then put them on them for short periods inside, then attach the leashes and take them out.

It only took about a week. Even when they are in their harnesses with the leashes attached, you do not actually take them for walks - you just follow them around wherever they decide to go. We keep our walks confined to our 1/2 acre property. They run after birds, zoom up trees (I try to dissuade them from going too far over my head), pounce on bugs, eat grass (one eats rose petals!), and seem to have a marvelous time. However, after about 30 minutes they run to come inside when we tell them it is time. Sometimes they go right to the litter boxes when they come in - did you know that there are no proper bathrooms in the out of doors?

When we tell them it is time for a walk, they all run to the back porch, very excited. They stand still while we put on their harnesses. As I said, they seem equally excited to come back indoors, so I do not feel bad that they spend most of their time indoors.

Anyway, it works for me.

I know what you mean about gardens - mine just grows like Topsy, without a plan or color scheme. Sometimes things work out amazingly - like the time my white Sombreuil rose, my dark velvet red Crimson Glory rose, and a dark dark purple clematis all bloomed simultaneously on the same large arch - it was gorgeous! I took credit for it of course, but the truth is that I had planted the clematis years before and forgotten about it because it never grew (it must have sulked for 3-4 years before it suddenly grew up the arch when I was not looking), and the Crimson Glory was not even supposed to be on that arch either - it had leaped over there from the shorter rose folly I had it on. If I had tried to do this on purpose, it never would have happened.

Jackie

Otto was expressing his essential nature--it is exactly what we are meant to do, for better or worse. Maybe he packed a lot of fun in a short but exciting life.

You will probably have your garden the way you really like it in no time at all.

I'm sorry about the loss of your Otto. It is painful to lose a beloved pet. They bring so much to our lives. It sounds as though he enjoyed himself immensely while he was here.

As for your garden, you will get it sorted out in time.

Rosefolly

Campanula, of course you were not a bad cat "mom". You did the best you could with Otto, who was destined to flame out and die young. He obviously packed a lot of living into his short life.

Some animals have such a strong will, it is impossible to control them. We had a dog, Jazzy, that was just like Otto, Jazzy of the hole digging, horse chasing, furniture chewing reputation. At one time or another he ripped out every screen in my house and on the decks to get loose. He ripped window treatments and blinds from the walls. He gritted his teeth and simply ran through our invisible electric fence, knowing he was going to get shocked. He simply never came home from one of his escapades, and we never learned what happened to him. We felt we had done all we could to protect him, and you did the same for Otto.

Melissa, I feel the same way about my animals. They are allowed to come and go whenever they please (except for badboy Jazzy), but we are also in a very rural area. We must also keep track of Annabelle the badgirl Dobie because of the cats. We have hopes that she will settle down as she is still quite young.

I'm sorry about your Otto. I loved your tales of his exploits...reminded me of one of the episodes of All Creatures Great and Small with the cat who showed up at any and all functions where people gathered - a true social butterfly who just wouldn't stay at home. In our rural area, the biggest danger to cats are the coyotes. After losing 4 cats in a row, my late DH went out and adopted an entire litter - 4 female kittens. His theory was we might end up with one or two lasting a while. Well, here I am 14 years later with all 4, and a bunch of more scaredy cats you'd never find. They're terrified of everything and always have been. My 5th cat is a free spirit much like your Otto. I adopted him from a co-worker who told tales of this cat sleeping out on the warm pavement of the road despite cars driving over the top of him (tires straddling him, luckily!) We thought a quieter setting might help him survive and so it has - he's just turned 9. He is aggravating as all get out sometimes, but his antics are never boring. I guess what I'm saying is give me the Bon Vivant any day over one afraid of its own shadow. Otto used up all his lives in a fast and furious fashion, but he sounded like he surely had a passion for life. I know how you must miss him.

I second the suggestion of telling "the kiddies" to get out and get their own patch of earth to design and plant. I don't believe gardening by committee can be successful; I'd have no trouble telling them where to get off, LOL. I hope the new garden turns out to be something you love.

We actually buried the neighbor's cat once who looked very much like ours. My husband found the body, and wishing to spare me the ordeal of seeing him lifeless, arranged for everything -- "funeral", preparing the body, casket, talking to the kids about the kitty 'afterlife' etc..... Just as everyone was having a good cry and we were about to bury him, the REAL Smokey walked up. Everyone's mouth was hanging open and though we were much less sad, went through with the funeral of the unknown cat. We later found out who the kitty had belonged to and let him know that his "Gandalf" was buried with much ceremony.

Clanross, that's priceless.

Sherry

Here is a link that might be useful: If only sweat were irrigation...

What favorite rose will overplant Otto to memorialize fierce living and a tragic ending?

Perhaps a suggestion box tucked near the trash bin, all suggestions to be given in writing to be taken under advisement? ummmh, marvelous, dear, just write it down and put it in my box. aging parent minds, you know.

Sitting is overrated, I think.

I lost my young 3 year old cat "Avery" He was always a thrill seeker and a risk taker. He had no fear, and that was his undoing. He was hit by a car crossing the street. I was so brokenheated, I vowed to never get another cat, unless I was able to build some elaborate enclosure that would keep him/her safe, but still provide an interesting outdoor life. So, I have not gotten another cat. It's been maybe 8 or 9 years. But, I do have my wonderful, smart, poodle pups who are my best friends.
Why is it that people who are passionate about roses, are also passionate about their pets?

Poodlepup, I think gardeners are nurturers, whether we are male or female. We nurture our plants, and we nurture animals, human or otherwise.

Hmmm, Gean, you spotted the omission. I was hoping to gloss over this but the rose for Otto is not an old and rare rose. Not even a classic. Some might try and argue it is barely a rose at all. It is a very new rose and something of a freak - a lilac hulthemia hybrid with the unfortunately hideous name of Eyes for You. A really interesting and unusual rose, but Otto was a daring cat so I feel a bit of risk-taking is required.

Well, it seems fitting that Otto should in the end have his eyes only on you as you putter through the garden he scorned, in pursuit of his brigand life. Small comfort perhaps to finally have tamed him.