I think the idea that interior items are investments is pretty silly. Investments are things you will sell when they increase in value. With some exceptions such as antiques, furniture does not increase in value. It is even sillier to think that decorating one's home increases its value when selling. People do look at what's already in the home, but they're not buying the furniture--and it doesn't increase the appraised value of the home. My wedding rings aren't in investment. If they become worth more, then that means my daughter will someday have more expensive rings. On the other hand, we have quite a bit of original art by an artist friend. If that becomes worth enough, we might sell it :-). (Or our kids might--I'm pretty attached to the piece he gave us as a wedding gift.) (In the link below, it's the black and white study he did before he did the yellow one) Here is a link that might be useful: Troy's art

Hi Walks....that's a weird keyboard quirk that you have there...Don't be embarassed though....this turned out to be the most popular thread in perhaps the history of TSL..way to go!.......As far as my daugther, it's a permanent visit. A combination of missing her mother and things not going well at school here...She's a senior this year and I hated to see her do it (my entire family has tried to talk her into waiting just a few more months) but she has her mind made up. She is enrolled in a school down there now but with different graduation criteria, she is looking at summer school in order to get her diploma. She has driven me crazy the last few weeks but I think that this is the best for both of us. I'll start the next "How was..." thread unless someone beats me to it and put a "6" in there in honor of you..gigglin' As far as cats go, this one that I "inherited" is going to have to be shaved before long...it's a long hair mix breed that's starting to mat up and no way am I going to try to clip it out...heh

its pretty incredible how much complete strangers can not only help with insight and validation - but simply with encouragement. The other night when things were over the top i posted the initial plea in a few different forums and this one has really paid off! I would just like to thank everyone who has shared their thoughts - each one has added to my ability to see this as clearly as possible given the circumstances. It is true, my sister has directed the temper and direction this family was going to take and my father has allowed it and enabled it at every point. Mostly out of fear of what she would either do to herself or her kids,as she has threatened some pretty heavy things about how, where and with whom she would turn to if not granted her demands; one by one over the years she has taken more and more privilege and exacted more abuse with every generation. They all were the result of, what i believe to be her supplementing both income and human relationships via children and child support. She never wanted the man and actually went to great attempts to keep them all at a distance(beyond the incoming checks) All in all it is dysfunction junction at its best. While i initially had great relationship with the boys- kind of diffusing all the craziness - and just being good ole Uncle Mike - it has taken a slow turn for the worse every time i had to be the disciplinarian in the absence of any other willing authority - then their puberty and independence really ignited a whole new powder keg - given the evolution of circumstances and their total and absolute disregard for any authority let alone male authority. Now, im really just trying to hang in there for my mom because everyone else seems to pick at her the most, my dad gets it too but he sides with them more than not out of the aforementioned fear and a strange opposition to dealing with them or taking a stand on what is right...He is definitely the enabler even though he resents it as much as anyone. He too can be a very abusive man(emotionally) but not to them. they have witnessed him emotionally abuse my mom just as i have - He really never messed with my sister but i have always gotten both barrels. I left when i was 19 and only just returned recently to witness the entire family peck at her like wolves. Being that my dad is older and sickly he has lightened up a bit and now its all backfiring on him as well as the rest of us thru her and her childrens rage. Its pretty obvious after knowing what i know and reading the follow up posts that this is the work of many years of pain in this house. Strange but in all of the craziness there is still a hint of love - but its a desperate sort with little patience and a lot of animosity for the truth. I am public enemy number one because i not only try to enforce a little decency but i also speak truths that threaten every ones daily routine regarding the disrespect and unnecessary rudeness. I have kept myself away and have grown up with a very happy and stable life until i lost the love of my life to a PHD at CALTECH (her not me)I was all that was left of a truly perfect and beautiful 10 year relationship that lost out to science and the pursuit of excellence in genetics - there was no room for me when it came to juggling intense labwork at a highly competitive national institution. So i came home to regroup and help out only to find a very messed up group of people all screaming at each other. It is out of control and I am very close to throwing in the towel. Even though i am not one to give up easily...i am slowly wearing thin. No one wants to listen or talk except my mom and i really do speak from the heart with love and insight and knowledge. I keep threatening to write a book about this as payback if not a simple exercising of my own demons. I am slowly being absorbed by all of this but thanks to being away for so long i have managed to avoid most of the scars that everyone else seems to have grown. Its catching up though. Unfortunately. I wish i could say that i believe that i can help but im afraid that they are all stuck in a routine that will never change. If i could just get my father to stand up to all of it i believe the others would fall in line - but he would rather fail than take any advice from me. he truly resents me even though he needs me. Sometimes its so obvious that the more he needs me the more he resents me. Along with that, I am a threat to all because i do see what is taking place and why and no one wants to hear it at all. I thought i had the skills to rationalize my way thru this and in any other environment i believe they are sufficient - save for this one painful example. This is all the family i have and at the very least - i am not going to leave my mom to the wolves. Anyway, sorry for the ramble - but for those of you who have shared in this thread - i guess im just spelling it all out in the form of a reply - because of the willingness to share feedback...and because there is always more to a story than whats just on the surface. i felt compelled to paint a clearer picture of what is really going on. And i want to thank you all for caring enough to help out a complete stranger. thanks again UncleMike

We got brave enough to remodel when everything fell apart and we realized that we had become comfortable with an inefficient space that just didn't work. Things I've found helpful: recommendations from people you know & trust who have nothing to gain/lose by sharing their experiences (neighbors, friends, co-workers, etc). We picked our general contractor because he had successfully/cheerfully built a house for some very fussy friends. He would only work with sub-contractors who were responsive to him and his clients, did good work, had responsible work ethic, and were nice to be around. During the 6 months of our remodel, I never heard 1 person swear (a much different experience from our first remodeling experience where it seemed like many of workers had to be on some kind of prison work release program) I did a lot of research, went to quite a few remodel open house tours (done by NARI contractors to get new business)that featured average houses like ours. This forum is quite helpful with things to think about. A previous poster mentioned (I agree after being on this list 2 years) that many of the participants have much higher budgets than the average kitchen remodel. While I didn't use it, many parts of the country have active Angie's List where people post their experience with local trades people. You can also pick up some tips on local people by putting your town name (if it's a larger population)or state in the question title. A while back, someone asked some questions about Madison, WI (my town) and there were 4-5 of us with responses. We had a smooth remodeling experience, cost more than planned, was dirtier than expected, felt like a home invasion often (we didn't move out), gave our dog psychological trauma. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. We love the new space (changed the floor plan completely), new appliances, new look!!! That said, I believe remodeling isn't for everyone. Sometimes, it's better to sell and buy the place that better suits you. It's an adventure! All the best in whatever path you travel!