Only the chives, sage and mint take care of themselves, though for two years running now I get volunteer squash out of my compost. What happens is at the end of the year I toss winter squash into the compost heap and it never gets hot over the winter, then in spring I put the compost on the garden. Thus, squash volunteers. This year I'm trying to eat all the lettuce before it goes to seed, but I didn't plant a whole lot either.

Instead of calling CPS, why not buy your friend a really good parenting book, that addresses some of the issues they have. Yes, it sounds as though your friend resents the child and probably the stepson moving in with her. But perhaps you could go to lunch with her and talk to her about how hard it must be for this boy to lose his mother, and the changes this child must be facing. See, through your friendship with this woman, if you can help her to feel compassion for this child. Tell her that you understand how hard this must be for her, and yet can she find it within herself to have compassion for a little boy who must be confused, hurting, and anxious. Encourage her to feed him what he is used to eating, and to slowly introduce new foods, and to give him a "child's" chewable vitamin for nutrition. The boys dad should take a parenting class for single fathers so that he has someone to ask questions from. Perhaps the YMCA has something. But I would think it is your friendship with the family that could help this little boy. Perhaps you could go shopping with your friend, and help her pick up a few toys and books for the child. If money is an issue, go to garage sales, and children's resale shops. See, through your positive encouragement, if you can help her to see this as a sweet blessing, instead of something to resent and be cross about.

First, it seems you have far more of a need of a relationship with him than he needs with you. Could that be part of the problem? No offense, but some have to be "popular" with everyone and possibly this is what's troubling him. You tried to be a bigger person by offering help, but perhaps the attitude of "bigger person" is coming across in a way you didn't intend. Maybe you're coming across as he's not doing his job, not doing it to your standards or something? You say you're a strong personality and perhaps you're not coming across as kind as you intend. Are you coming across like you're trying to boss him around? Very possible. Again, no offense, but can you live with a situation where you're not loved by all your coworkers? I'm sure you're intentions are good, but sometimes the delivery is bad. I'll admit, when I read that you tried to be the bigger person and do things, it really came across as arrogant to me. I suspect this is part of the issue. Going to the boss because someone won't talk to you is pretty petty to me. I haven't really seen anything causing trouble in the workplace. Perhaps his remarks are because you're trying too hard? Maybe he's bothered by that. Why not try giving the guy some breathing room? A friendship might develop or might not. But at least if you back off a bit, maybe it will solve the problem. Since you don't know what's going on in his life, you don't know his intentions, but you're definitely coming across here in a noncompassionate way to me. Perhaps he's having tough times? Family issues? Financial problems? To have someone at work putting pressure on doesn't help. Give him a break. The other option is whether there's someone who knows you both that you could ask if they have any idea. But the problem is whether they would tell you or not. Perhaps he's confided and they'd feel a duty to not spread it out. I think it'd be nearly childish to run to the bosses over what has been said so far. Would certainly make you look like Mommy/Daddy, Jimmy isn't being NICE to me! And would only cause more tension in the workplace for everyone. Sometimes less said is better. Especially when there's the tension there clearly is.

She's getting an awesome deal on the photographer, but sometimes you do get what you pay for. I know a few that would charge $4500 for wedding photography. It's an all day job (follow the bridal party all day, pre wedding, wedding, reception) then go home and process the pictures--it's a lot of work. I see no problem with family making meals for weddings. My husbands family does it quite often. My favourite wedding meal was pulled pork and oven roasted potatoes with home made dinner rolls. Saved the bride and groom a bundle of money. When I got married, we used a JP and got married at my mother in laws back yard. Only the bridal party and immediate family had dinner in a restaurant, and everyone met back at the house for a fire pit party. We got married for under $1000 (including the JP, our clothes for the day which included our kids and my wedding dress, and dinner out) and 24 years later, we're still married. I don't expect wedding favours (who does that anymore?). How much one spends on their wedding is up to them. I specifically asked for no gifts when we got married as I had been away from home for 13 years at that point and didn't need or want anything. People feel they have to give a gift anyway. I'm not a fan of e-vites. If you have a computer, print your own invites and RSVP note cards (there's a million templates online) and mail them out. I used my typewriter to do that 25 years ago. LOL It took FOREVER! All in all, it's her wedding. She can do as she likes. In the end it doesn't have to affect anyone else. Also, I can't remember ever going to a wedding where the guests didn't pay for their booze. Other than a bottle of wine on the table to toast the bride and groom, we've always paid for our drinks. ETA: also, the wedding is all about the bride and groom, and not what's in it for the guest. Just because you spend $ on a gift, doesn't mean they have to give you a gourmet dinner and a 'favour'. In my day, we went to weddings to be witnesses to a joyful event. We danced. We had fun. And we gave gifts. We didn't expect anything in return. This post was edited by debby_ab on Fri, Nov 7, 14 at 8:19