I know that life isn't fair but still...NO FAIR! Woke up at 5 am to the radio announcing that it was 80 degrees outside with a projected high of 101 today. Then he kindly reminded everyone to drink plenty of water and not forget that we've had 24 heat related deaths in the county so far this month...make sure you check on the elderly and those without AC! Well, I spent 8 hours as one of those without AC, and I get to do it tomorrow when it's just as hot. There are 2 things I hate about the south...July and August! One of the guys I worked with today came from PA and he couldn't wait to tell me it was 65 when his wife woke up this morning. NO FAIR! NO FAIR! NO FAIR! We had a very brief thunderstorm tonight, dropped at least 10 raindrops which did nothing but add to the humidity. They were the first raindrops I've seen in weeks and I ran outside to stand in them. After a few minutes, I ran back inside so I could breath. It felt like a warm, wet wool blanket was being wrapped around my head. UGH. The gardens look worse than they ever have. Even the psycho plant (as Suzanne calls it) is starting to die. The "survival of the fittest" no longer applies. Nothing is immune to heat and drought. Nothing except ants. And cockroaches. And they seem to find the tiniest crack to gain entrance to the house. The cats do not like the ants but are quite enthralled with the roaches and I know exactly what they're doing when I hear the pitter patter of their tiny feet half the night...cockroach soccer! On the bright side, I haven't had to mow grass in weeks. Last time I remember the summer being this hot, it was followed the a winter of record snowfall. Can't help but wonder what this winter will hold in store. And on an even brighter note, I've been called for a job interview! It's a staff job with the Special Forces in an office where I turned down a job twice before. But this one is as the Chief of that office, something I've wished for for a long time. I'm surprised I was called since they usually promote from within, but it seems my reputation preceeds me. And I have many friends who are happy to spread word of my reputation around. So, I at least have a shot, and for that I'm thankful. Now, if I could have a little luck and land it, I'd be walking on cloud nine! Of course, I'd definitely wear spike heels and pierce that cloud and make it rain! Keep your fingers crossed for me! I've had enough of this fox hole, it's time for me to move on to another one.

I'm not being morbid, just join the babes on their journey; they are not alone! I refuse to forget them! I'm not sure why, I think because our first day of school is quickly approaching (11 more days), but for the last three days I've left for the workday on my way to pick up my son at camp, I am so exceedingly glad I didn't live in Beslan, Russia on September 1-3, 2004. I cannot stop thinking about School Number 1 and the terrifying things which happened to the most fragile of humans by the most horrific of our species. I'm still hearbroken for those teachers, grandmothers, fathers, baby boys, mothers, big girls, each and every one who knew they were going to die. Or worse, the mothers who had to leave the gym with babies in tow, but left behind the older sibling to die (or the one who died with the older sibling, but left a babe orphaned) choosing the fate better left chosen to Another; what a horrible decision to be faced with for the rest of their lives. It's just been nibbling at my psyche for these last few days. To top it off, today, when I read "...but at least four submerged vehicles had been located with sonar, officials said. 'We have a number of vehicles that are underneath big pieces of concrete, and we do know we have some people in those vehicles'", I just wanted to shut down. How horrible a site for the person operating the sonar. Worse, you know at least some of the "occupants" are kids. Even if the school bus kids survived, the next child's parent(s) didn't. I guess I'm on an "we're alive and I get to hold my baby", kind of thought kick. I love him so so so much and hurt when he hurts. But he's here and I get another chance to touch him again, on a day where I am remembering those who died with very little life lived. Poor dear ones. Saying my prayers for them.

The other day, I'd tried tried tried to invite friends over, to no avail. The electricity out, the cable out, no landline, only sporadic cell service. Her landline didn't work at all the other day and had left her cell phone at another friends. So today was the first time we could get together. I furnished chocolate pudding cake, school lists, chapter books we'd finished (always pass on books you've read, right?), extra scisssors so they wouldn't have to buy any, but in return, they gave me the biggest laugh I've had in forever!!!!!!!!!!! E's father really really really loved the monkeys of see, hear and speak no evil. It made me cry to see the bottle. After they went home, I laughed and laughed, because I finally read the cork. Pinot Evil. Life is about friends, right? Well, they bring surprises that make life worthwhile.

Jeanne, I'm so sorry you're "closing shop", but I'm glad you posted because that necessity is seeming more and more probable for me. I've had a HORRIBLE August. 100, 102, 103 temps all last week, the rest of the month 99's usually. No real rain in 6-8 weeks. Hurricane Katrina spun a wave of moisture this way yesterday, the town got a nice rain, I didn't get a drop. I've lost most of my karma dahlias to drought or then panicked over watering. Out of 150, I think I have 5 viable plants right now. The few seeds I sow either don't make it to bloom stage or are still in seedling stage and can't be transplanted. Obviously, I still haven't learned to cover seed rows in the field--the ones sown last week are MIA. I may sow some more tomorrow, fast growing zinnias or suns, to have SOMETHING for the fall, but...... Also this month has been getting kids to college month. As of Sunday night, we're now empty nesters. Youngest just started college, the twins in the middle just graduated, but one is just now starting grad school in Ca, the other one is enroute to CA as I type to begin his future w/ a film industry job yet to be found, and the oldest, in Dallas has started some on-line clases to finish her degree. We've spent GOBS of money and time attending to the hither and thither of those 4, so now time and money for us is gone! PLUS, the REALLY BIG reason I may be hanging up my shovel is that we are probably going to be moving to Arkansas, as soon as a business deal is worked out and we can get this house on the market. Every house I've looked at on-line in that part of AR is WAY high, for even 1800 sf, or LESS, and right now we're at 3500 sf w/ 1.6 acres, plus my garden spot. I'm very discouraged about farming (and housing!) possibilites up there, as I'm becomming here. My mailer this spring brought almost no orders, I still have my one subscription customer left, but I've really had to scrounge (or buy plants) to fill her weekly order. It's been too hot to even think about hiring out for gardening jobs. But golly gee whiz that hope still lingers, that maybe THIS fall, or NEXT spring will be better. But I don't have, and haven't had, enough money or time, and hardly any help,to ever be a "real" flower farmer, certainly never enough flowers, so, a SANE person would stop beating her head against dried cracked soil and say "I give up." I've been lurking a lot the last few weeks. Hardly anything to share, and this is the umpteenth time for my sad story. But, since the business deal isn't quite finalized, and I have no idea when this house will sell (gotta clean up and haul out the debris from 4 kids and 2 clutter collecting parents! LOL!, plus lots of repairs), then I may well be sitting here at Christmas, next spring, or beyond. And maybe if I'm still here I'll grow a few more things. It's just so discouraging to go out as a failure. Jeanne, you're leaving on top of your game, touchdown pass in the final seconds of the game. Brava to you. I'm proud of you, and thank you for all your help over the years. And ditto to the rest of you. I'm sure I'll still be here for a while, at least, because it's my favorite forum, and, I still have a few more plants to plant! Susi