Try: http://www.ebay.com/itm/231603652342?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649 Again, don't bid on anything, just use it as a guide for trading. Nick

I suspect similar anecdotes will happen to a lot of you as you complete your remodels. The funny thing is, I don't remember ever sitting down with DS to talk about etching in particular. I did tell him to use the perimeter counters (quartz) for drink pouring and sandwich making. He just said, "ok" and actually thought it was cool that there is now a "beverage, breakfast and snack making zone". I think he absorbed the details of the acids and the etching and the sealing from all the (incessant) discussions DH and I had about the pros and cons of various counter materials options while we were deciding. Kids do listen, even when it seems they are not. Shelayne, I hear you about the clothing, our kids must be related! it has been one of DS's chores for many years to clear the dinner dishes and fill the DW. He's very particular about it and will even rearrange the dishes in there if they are not properly set up. He's quite the gourmand, has a very sophisticated palate, and knows his way around a kitchen. HOWEVER, as to the issue of the clothing perpetually on the floor, well, I can't help you there! I'm constantly playing the "sniff" test with the trail of clothing I find in his bathroom and room. Is this the "clean" floor pile, or the "dirty" floor pile? Only the nose knows! Aloha, rather than sad, putting a beautiful slab of marble on the island was a very happy compromise! The rest of the counters are quartz, which is impervious to stains, scratches, etc. And the consensus of the whole family is that the new kitchen is AWESOME. Neither DS nor DH seem at all concerned about the marble top impinging on their "comfort". I did make a point after the exchange yesterday to tell DS that if he or a friend accidentally etched the stone, that I certainly wouldn't hold him responsible or be angry at the friend and I realize the marble will etch at some point, but I refuse to believe that taking a little special care of a rectangle of counter on the island is any sort of burden to a kid in DS's position. Taking care of hard earned, beautiful things because they matter to you or to the people you love, is important too. Then again, some might also find other rules in our house sad and inconsiderate of the family's comfort, for example, we "dress" for dinner (no sweats, no athletic gear, no dirty clothing, because I believe it is disrespectful of the person who prepared dinner with love and care) but oh well! Very rarely has DS been sent back to his room to change into something "less comfortable" for dinner, but it has happened. At some point it's a question of values. Comfort is important but it is not always first.

I'd be so happy to know its sunburn, Jane. Though if it is....what a weak sauce plant!! Lol Sure, it's brighter but not that much brighter. It was constantly open slats vs open shutters...sheesh. But that would make the most sense. I really don't think it was there the day before...and then the next day, this nonsense. Perhaps I should just leave it in the northern room. I moved it into the southern room about a month ago because my family room is quite dark, and it appeared to like it there. Lati, it sure sounds possible, though I haven't seen it since I don't spend all that much time in the living room. With the sun already so much lower, I suppose it could have streamed in about late afternoon. Weak sauce plant, man.

I second what mizscarlett said. PTSD or even TSD is a very real thing that happens to many people, not just soldiers. Arcy- I understand why you wrote what you did, it is the common stance of the general public to abused and battered persons; I used to feel much the same. BUT....unless you have lived through it yourself and had the same crushing emotions, guilt, worthlessness and self loathing that these people have experienced from years of emotional abuse, you really are in no place to judge. It is easy to view as an outsider and say, "you should have just left", it is FAR more difficult to do when you've been, slowly over time, made to live in fear for your life and the lives of those you love or been made to believe that you are, in fact, worthless. The worst damage people like OPs husband do isn't physical, it's emotional and mental. Her mother was willing to pay for the divorce but she was so worried for her mother's safety from this lunatic that she was willing to endure additional abuse to keep her mother safe. You berating her for something she already regrets is simply blaming the victim and encourages other people to NOT come forward. Many people who are abused (not saying this is necessarily the OPs stance) state that their abuser is quite charming at first, a "catch". Slowly, over time the verbal and emotional abuse escalates but they still say, "s/he's so great, and they've never hurt me!". Then the first time comes and they are physically abused. They are so shocked that it happened and "it's never happened before" that they write it off. It happens again, a few months go by and it happens again...and again....and again. At this point it is happening at an alarming frequency but by this point, the battered person is so broken, so ashamed at not recognizing what was initially happening, that they stay silent. The victim blames themself. THEN, in worst case scenarios, they begin to actually believe what the abuser says. They believe they deserve this. They believe they messed up, believe they are worthless, believe they are at fault. Frankly, as much as I want to judge and blame someone for their past mistakes, I can NOT sit by and blame a battered person for their poor decisions regarding their abuser. It's not right and it's not fair. msgenie- you've been given some great advice already. The only thing I can add to it is that you've already given him power and control over 50 years of your life. He is gone now and you can finally live. Try to NOT let his ghost take any more of your life from you. You only get one life, one chance at this big game; make it count. Regret nothing, learn from it.