I have been married for 36 years. The first month we were married, MIL drove 500 miles to visit, unannounced. While I was at work on that Friday, she did all my laundry (all my undies too), cooked dinner, and cleaned our apartment. (The message I received, was "you are incapable of taking care of my son.")I fixed supper for her that week-end and her comment was "aren't you going to take that nasty skin off the chicken?". It was downhill from that point on. Ten years ago, she grew very ill and came to live with us, (My husband is her only child, and she divorced many years ago). Has been here ever since and will be, likely, until she dies. And so, here we were with 26 years worth of unresolved issues between us (but "between" felt like a very small space). My advice to you comes from first hand experience. Resolve it NOW. No matter how difficult it may feel, no matter how your imagination warns you of horrible conflict, speak calmly, but honestly, now. Listen to her side. Arrive at a reasonable agreement for you both. These things have a way of growing deep roots, broad canopies, and coming to live with you. Boy do I wish I had followed that advice. I should tell those who are interested that we have found peace over the years, thanks to God and my wonderfuly patient husband, but the first few years were beyond awful. I now know that for the most part, our conflicts were far more misunderstandings than fact. So again, I reiterate, don't wait until MIL is old and senile. Get it right while you are both young and have some space. It will be worth the effort. Sorry if this sounds preachy.

Assuming this is Oncosiphon,some people asked for seeds and I would be glad to provide some but have no idea how to get seeds. I'm not a real gardener, just wanted to know the name of this plant that is all over the foothills north of Phoenix. So if someone could give me a few instructions re how to collect seeds I would be happy to send some off when they are ready. thanks Caroline (OP) Cave Creek AZ

Red hot poker , Kniphofia.

Mother of thousands or Mother of millions are common names...botanical name for this one is B. tubiflorum (has narrow, tube-like leaves) and the 'other' MoM is B. daigremontianum (with wider, flatter leaves). Both will produce many, many offsets on the margins. This is why proper, botanical names should be used...