Naw, that's a fair complaint, you've got some company on that score. I lost a few Hoyas over the winter & am still somewhat bummeed over that. Being out of work for longer than I'm comfortable with, am no in a position to buy more. A sweet & kind Hoya friend recently sent me a bunch of cuttings of both Hoyas & other plants.

This wk I discovered I've lost my beloved Balfour Aralia (one of my absolute favorite plants)! We've had a dastardly heat wave here in NYC for a wk & the next thing I knew, it was dying; I threw out the parent plant yesterday; think I barely managed to save a sprig of the very inner newest growth which is in a cup of water trying to root. Ackkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!

I think I also lost another, an Oncidium which a friend gave me as he didn't have room for it (leftover from a Plant Mtg). It was down to just pseudobulbs, but 1 had new growth coming in, it's looking like a shriveled up crispy critter now -- frustrating. I almost threw it out yesterday, but will give it some time as one never knows!!

Yes, unfortunately, other things must take priority right now!

I think you just need to make time....say 1/2 hour a day. This can be your own personal escape from the rigors and stress of a busy schedule. You need to make some "me" time and your plants and the hobby can be a great stress reliever.

I've been there watergal. It can be stressful not being able to come up with the time you need to take care of your plants. Watching them die off is painful and finding relief in having one less plant to take care of makes you feel guilty.

I am an empty nester now and self employed and feel fortunate to have time to spend with my indoor and outdoor gardens. Hopefully down the road you will have the luxury of more time for your plants.

So maybe we should put our heads together and offer you our time saving plant tips.

Keeping your plants in one spot is an obvious time saver. Also, it might be too late for this year...I use houseplants instead of annuals in pots outside. That way my watering time doesn't increase and watering with a hose is great. I also try to give away plants that I separate-giving them as gifts is a money saver to boot. Potting up instead of dividing is another thought.

Maybe others will chime in.

This won't last forever (I hope!), it is hard to recognize limitations/restrictions when you are accustomed to how things were before (heavier obligation load) compared to the present.

FORGIVE yourself for the plant losses, happens to the best of us plant caretakers, and just keep trudging forward, hopefully things ease up and you will be able to carve out some time for you and your plants again.

I used to have ample amounts of time to preen and fuss over my houseplants, now with a new move and lots of 'house' work to be done, and the plants spread over a larger area (instead of one big window - now 5 different rooms all further away from my favourite water hole (kitchen sink) - makes watering challenging) I find I get frustrated at trying 'to keep up' instead of it being part of my daily/weekly ritual. I have my sister caretaking of 1/2 my plants since I don't have the room (house still under semi-construction/finishing), and worried about them at the start, then realized, should some *die* then they do, and there is nothing to be done about that. I am doing the best I can right now, other priorities are in play, and hopefully by the end of the year, things will have settled and corrected itself.

Good luck, please make time for just you if you can.

kioni

I know a bit of what you're feeling too. I know I'm losing several plants but I'm trying to, as was suggested, make plant care part of my so called Me Time. My own situation has to do with trying to spend every spare second with my terminally ill Mom, and when I get to sit down and water, prune, and preen, it really helps me. Currently I'm focusing on my many Begonias and keeping everything else watered and in good light as much as I can. When the Begonias feel stable to me, I will move on perhaps to my gesneriads or Pelargoniums as a focus. Right now the plants are able to be therapy for me, but I can see how they can become just one more part of the load... work and mom and pets and bills and work and mom and pets and bills and oh, hey how about them plants, perL?
Watergal, is there someone who could foster some of your collection for you? Perhaps if there were fewer, they would be a little less of a task and more of a break for you.
I hope, in any case, things ease up. And if you must do without plants for a while, I'll bet the ones you have later will be even more treasured.
-perL

Been there, Done that.
Watergal, how many plants do you have?
How about separating them? In other words, place succulents with succulents, Philos w/Philos, etc.
Believe me, it'll be much easier to manage. You know sux can get by w/o water or fertilizers for long periods. Depending on the number and types of plants you have make a difference.
It really doesn't take much time to water. You may or may not mist, but that's something that shouldn't take long. Fertilizing is all together different. If fertilizing is a problem, maybe you should use time-release until you have more time. If that's too much, how about stakes? I think we all get in these moods. I LOVE plants, yet there are times I consider ridding some, but I KNOW if this were to happen, I'd feel terrible. Though I'm thinking of donating a few climbing Philos.

Toots came up with an excellent idea about placing outside and using as annuals..The only problem is if you haven't a back yard, and have to set out front, someone might walk away with one of your babies. Using a hose to water really makes life easier, which is where most of my plants are now..Outside. Not for the reason Toots mentioned, (even though it's true, lol) but to get fresh air.

Perlite, I'm terribly sorry about your mom..It's such a cliche, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Thank God you have plants to keep your mind occupied even if it's minutes per day.

For those of you who know me, in 2006, my son was using drugs. Heavy drugs. I went in a deep depression. Because I had over 200 plants at the time, more like 400, plants became a burden. I neglected so many..many died. At that point I didn't care. Then one day, while walking around the house, smoking cigarette after cigarette, I took a good look at my once gorgeous plants and thought, what the hell am I doing??? Seeing limp, wilted leaves, soil so dry it cracked, I decided to get back to business. It wasn't easy, believe me, but something pushed me. I tossed out several that were too far gone nothing could save them. One by one were taken to the sink/shower getting hosed. Each got a dose of Superthrive, (no fertilizers since it was winter) Thankfully, some of my oldest and favorite plants survived. Little by little each plant was cleaned, dead foliage removed, faded flowers deadheaded.
If I can do it, you guys can too. I'm not as strong as I once was. Though I won't relate my age, there are times I feel 90 yrs old. It's takes motivation.

Watergal, perhaps your mind and body are tired. Do you sleep well? When we're tired, who feels like watering plants, let alone repotting or the 'F' word, Fertilizing :)
I pray the urge will return.

My son is making it difficult to this day. He's lost jobs, and has been arrested. But I KNOW neglecting plants isn't the answer. Working with plants keeps our minds busy.

So Watergal, don't give up. Take it day by day. If you know someone, family member, friend, who enjoys plants, perhaps they'll help you, even if it comes to watering. Good luck to everyone, hugs, Toni

Thanks for the encouragement. Things are looking up, finally. Part of the problem is that I have two part-time jobs, and they both involve working with indoor plants, so even though I treasure my jobs, my hobby plants are not as relaxing as they used to be. I'm trying to focus my personal plant collection on things that I don't care for at work, so that I get some variety.

My ailing mother-in-law and my challenging teenaged daughter are some of my other worries right now, but compared to your stories, I guess it could be lots worse. Thanks for the perspective.

I have a week long vacation at the beach coming up soon. I am SO ready! But I still have some small potted annuals and perennials that need to get in the ground before I can go away.

Watergal,

Keep posting. A lot of us have "known" each other for a long time. I remember when Toni lost her desire for plants, I did also. I don't know if it was sympathy or not, but I had just lost one online friend to cancer, another to writing romance novels, she doesn't have time to chat as often, I am proud of her, but I feel the loss all the same. I really don't know what would have happened if I lost Toni also. She has been a big help to me, but yet we've never met.

My point being, you don't know what a help you've been to others, until your friends pull you back out of your funk.

When I lost my desire for plants, I let a lot of plants die also. It was like I'd lost a lot of friends, each plant had a history. I got out of that funk by going back to the nurseries and looking for new plants which I know can take a bit of neglect.

Thanks all for the support. Things are getting a little less hectic, I was able to do a bit of houseplant stuff yesterday, and spent most of today working on my outdoor tropical bed, which I've been wanting to do for ages.

It was amazing how much better I felt, I felt like myself again. Yay for horticultural therapy!

Good show on the tropicals bed, and I hope that beach vacation is refreshing for you and coming really soon. I have just this year been working on my first one, of those tropical plantings, but things got slowed down. I still enjoy them every visit, though. -perL

Mentha, oh thank you..(S) Hey, that reminds me..I still owe you a Ficus cutting..Remember? I think it was Triangle Ficus..Let me know if and when you want it..

Watergal..It is difficult, working not one but two jobs with plants, then to come home to your own jungle.
Get outside, plant your new plants, give them a drink, while daydreaming about time spent on a sunny, relaxing beach. If possible, set a portable radio outside, (keep low so neighbors won't complain.) Tune in your favorite radio show be it music or Talk Radio. The music might perk you up, as well as certain topics. If you're a coffee drinker, fix a cup w/extra grounds to give you a boost..LOL. Don't forget daydreaming. Toni

Hi Toni,
I'd forgotten about the ficus. I have some rabbit's foot fern cuttings with your name on them. It's really hot here though, so closer into fall might be better.

Watergal,
One way to keep from really burning out is take a day a week for yourself. We in our household, really tenaciously make sure to stay home one day a week. Sometimes I turn off the phone and lock the gate and just relax.

mentha, yes I used to be very intentional about taking a day for myself every week. But just hasn't been possible since February. Every spare minute had to go to dealing with various family members in crisis, house and car disasters, church obligations, financial matters, and work. I did at least have the good sense to say no during that time to a couple of requests to be on committees and boards, thank goodness.

Barring any more major calamities, I think I can get at least half a day to myself most weeks again now. It would be nice to not feel like I'm living in constant stress.

Hey watergal,

I totally understand. I've got a four-year-old and a two-year-old, and if I got an hour to myself every week I'd be grateful. Every now and then I look at a certain plant and think, "I'm pretty sure I swore to repot that a year ago." Or was it two years?

As a result, I'm extremely fond of a couple of plants, which shall remain nameless, that are tolerant of my neglect. They're kind of like that friend of mine who, when I had kids, understood that I was not available as much as I was before and didn't hold it against me.

One day I'll make it up to them, I swear!

Matt

You know, if you have time to be surfing forums, isn't there a minute or two to work on your living things?

Lucy, I'm SURE that you didn't mean to sound so unkind.

I'm not.

[Becomes really interested in his own fingernails]

Sometimes I'm so exhausted from work and stress that I just want to sit on the sofa. I can surf with the laptop, but it's pretty hard to repot plants on the sofa - very messy!

To return to the topic of plant burnout, I can empathize. I am suffering a minor bout of it now, myself. There's nothing hugely stressful going on in my life, (the worst thing is a chronically-ill elderly cat) but still there are times when I look at my ~300 plants and just feel overwhelmed. I've been keeping up with the watering and the fertilizing, but I just don't have the energy to fuss over them like I used to. All the "extras" that keep plants looking their absolute best, like pruning and grooming and repotting just seem like too much right now.

LOL Watergal..good answer and true.
When I went through my dilemma, I didn't get online. But we need release and sometimes surfing the net helps. Also, visiting sites like GW, reading threads and browsing plant sites motivate..which is what you need.
Did you get to the beach yet?
It'll come back, give it time..or it's possible, your plant days are over. I've talked to others who at one time sold all their plants..Most people needed a break, sometimes it took up to 15 years before the person ended up buying one new plant. Since you're around plants daily, (your job) you too may need a break. Only you can tell what you're feeling.

Though my sons life has turned for the worse, (long story) I refuse to give up like I did in 2006. Working on plants is theroputic..
When the time is right, you'll come around. And as long as you have friends here on Gw, you'll always have someone to talk to.
That's one problem with growing large numbers/varieties of plants..when we're stressed, spying our greens look like a 'ton of work,' instead of the joy we should be feeling.

Mr. Sub, you are so funny..LOL

Mentha, let me know when you're ready. Autumn is a good time. Unless shiping prices rise 5 times their current cost..LOl..Toni

watergal, I can but share some experiences. Whenever I am on a downward slope or in a trough I try to find something challenging but within my scope of competence. The ZZ plant and Stromanthe sanguinea 'tricolor' are two that leap to my mind. Every year, instead of making a New Year resolution, I give myself a project that is very-slightly very-much beyond my ability; over the years this has taught me how to 'steal' time, year round.
The DW does not mind as much as she used to.
In the June issue of "Total Landscape Care", the book "Work for a Reason", authored by Larry Winget, was reviewed.
'Manage priorities, not time' is a concept which he shares and which I must explore.
"Two years from now you will look back at this and laugh" is as American as apple pie.
It is also quite true.

Toni, I'm sorry things haven't been going well for your son. I'm a parent too, I know how hard it is when our kids are suffering. I'm glad that you are staying strong.

I go to the beach on July 13. Hooray!

The plant love is starting to come back, I've been able to do little bits of care when I have a spot of free time. I can't imagine my plant days ever being over, not until I'm too weak to pick up a watering can. However, I have decided the solution is to make sure I have DIFFERENT plants at home than the ones I deal with at work. My latest foray has been into orchids. I can't afford to buy any more right now (college tuition this fall, yikes!), but I have plenty to care for - a few dozen. So I shall work on perfecting my orchid skills.

ronalawn, I really enjoy your posts. Are you a professional plant person? You sound like one. I like your idea about challenges - starting my own business a year ago was a huge leap of faith that is, knock on wood, working out quite well so far. Between that and various crises with my MIL and my DD, I have plenty of challenges on my plate without looking for more right now.

I've also had trial by fire in managing priorities. I'm definitely learning not to sweat the small stuff.

But look back and laugh? I dunno. Only if I get a way bigger pile of manure dumped on me between now and then, maybe. Otherwise, I think I'll look back and say, thank God that's over, or maybe, how the heck did I manage to get through all that?!

I also had a plant burnout starting about three years ago. We had a sickness in the family and it took a lot of my emotional energy. My love of my plants started to dwindle and their care started to suffer. I kept most of them going, but a few of them did die. In some ways it was a blessing as I had too many anyway, but unfortunately a few of my favorites were the ones who didn't make it.

Even as the family member got better my interest was still somewhat neutral. They got watered and all and that's about it. Finely in January I decided to repot all of my gesneriads as they've very badly needed it. Even then the interest really didn't return until about two months ago when I finally started to work with them a lot more. Now most of my gesneriads are blooming and my plants shelves look wonderful. I had even propagated a few for a friend. And gasp! I actually bought a new one last week! I must be getting better. lol

Larry

Maybe there is only so much nurturing we can do at one time? When we're busy worrying about a family member, we just can't muster the emotional resources to nurture our plants as well?

My plants are adjusting to living with less water. And I'm starting to get interested again.

Thanks Watergal.
I knew you'd come around. Once you have greens in your blood, it's hard giving up.
You have a lot going on..when we grow tired, (or depressed) simple things like watering becomes a chore.
You have children, (how old, if you don't mind me asking?) go to school, and run a business..that has to be difficult. Hope you're taking Multi-vitamins. (S) Thinking about your schedule makes me tired..LOL
Watergal, how many plants do you have? Types? In other words, do you grow different families?
I'm debating whether or not to donate Philos to our local conservatory..Possibly Agaves too. I know both types would do much better grown in a large gh, with additional space. If I do donate, not all Philos will go. Mainly vines.. It's not a definate decision yet..We'll see.
I'm glad you're okay now, and back to plants. hugs, Toni

Hi Watergal,

I had not thought about being emotionally overloaded. Or having no more room for nurturing for even my plants. I was the primary caregiver. I was basically emotionally and physically taxed by the experience. There really was no more room for nurturing, even to myself.

Larry

OK Toni, you asked. You'll be sorry! Here's what happened.

The college classes ended in December. I was supposed to take the pesticide licensing exam (that I needed the classes for) in February, but some mice moved into my car and ate some pieces of the engine, so I had to postpone to April. Then in April, MIL got sick so I had to postpone again until June. I finally got to take the test in June and passed, now it's just a formality and $$ to get the actual license.

In February, my only child (almost 16) discovered an "early college" she wanted to apply to. It would involve leaving high school two years early and going to college over 6 hours away, plus the tuition is very expensive. After much soul-searching, we decided to let her apply and scheduled a visit. Then she got sick and was diagnosed with mono right before the visit. Doc said she could go if she felt up to it. Two days before the visit, mother-in-law goes in the hospital (she lives 2.5 hours away from us). We visited MIL, then the college. While we were still at the college weekend, we get a call from the social worker at MIL's hospital, telling us she won't be able to go back to her home, we have to move her to a facility.

We all loved the college, so we decided to let DD apply and hope for a decent scholarship. We were going to Philly twice a week researching facilities for MIL, who was suffering from temporary dementia and a real mess. DD was flipping out waiting to see if she got accepted.

Meanwhile, the advertising for my new business had paid off, and I was suddenly juggling 6 huge proposals, along with working three days a week at my regular job.

The week we moved MIL into assisted living, I had a huge installation to do for a new client. Plus I had a big choir concert, I was one of the featured soloists, and this particular concert was far away, so I was driving an hour round trip almost every day for rehearsals for a week.

It's amazing the strength you can muster when you have to, though. And it all worked out. DD got into the college and got some scholarship money (although I won't be buying any plants for the next 4 years). MIL is getting settled in her assisted living place (she still complains a lot, but that's just her personality). I landed a bunch of business clients and they are happy with my work. And the choir concert was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and I've done a LOT of singing.

At the moment, it's still a bit hectic. MIL has a bunch of doctor appointments and a birthday party we're throwing for her, and there is shopping, packing, and travelling to do for college. Then I plan to take a long breath. Hopefully no more family crises for a while.

I like your comment about "once you have greens in your blood"! It's so true. I could never survive without plants and singing. Someday I will be the little old lady in the assisted living place, and they sure as heck better give me a room with a southern exposure and a windowsill wide enough for my potted plants. I'll be tottering around with my pint watering can taking care of them.

I like to joke that when it's my time to go, I hope I keel over working in my garden, so they can just dig a hole and dump me in there with my beloved plants!

Wow and I thought my life was hectic. I have sat here for an hour typing this problem and that, but keep deleting them. I could write a book on all my concerns at the moment, and why my plants are suffering but I am going to try to pray about them instead.

I can really relate to what Perlite said- my father died in April, and I had to go back to the old country to care for him and my mother (he 83, she 81). I took leave from work and I accompanied my father to the exit. My wife is an angel, but not a green fingered one, and during that period my plants suffered. ("What do you mean my croton has spots? what spots? where? Have you checked under the leaves?"- very frustrating conversations on the phone with my better half back then...)

However the plants survived, and I found, and still find, that caring for them helps me relax more than any other thing I can do (and I could do plenty, being married but without children...). And I sometimes wonder whether my father would have not fared better in the last years of his life, had he had an hobby like houseplants to interest him in the world around him. Plants are good, they only want to exist and enjoy the sun and the ground- a lesson for all of us too worried about a lot of silly things...

Caring for plants must be a hobby, not a heavy duty- if it is not a pleasure, what is the point of it? Yes, my Alocasia lost all leaves except three; and the Stromanthe did not look happy, either. Well, I thought back then that it would be a challenge to bring them back to their best, and they're working on it, they're working on it... So take it easy watergal, keep your balance and best of luck!

(Incidentally- maybe this is matter for another thread though- in my long sleepless nights at the hospital when my father would finally rest and let me have some time for myself, I would walk the empty corridors and get amazed at the amount of abuse that some plants can take... and also wonder whether there is any correlation about the tastes of- who? nurses, doctors, or patients? who brings plants into hospitals?- and the particular speciality of the department. First Aid seems to love Kalanchoe, General Medicine is all about Spathyphillum and Epipremnum, Pneumology does not seem to like anything green, and Cardiology is the place for posh plants: they had a Calathea Rufibarba, a Ctenanthe, a Philodendron of uncertain variety...)

calathea, interesting observation about types of plants versus specialties! I sell and take care of indoor plants for businesses, sometimes we have hospital clients. Spathiphyllum and epipremnum are the standards for low light, fairly easy care. They are installed by us pros a lot, and they are also very easy for the staff to buy and commonly given as gift plants. Personally, I get kind of tired of them and try to use things that are more unusual whenever possible. But hey, if those medical staff are caring for their own plants, they should make it as easy on themselves as possible!

This was such an intriguing posting title I had to check it out, and wow! I really need to get reunited with all my houseplant books so I can get back to business! I've had 3 (or 4?) major plant dieoffs since I began the hobby, and I couldn't get back into it after the last one (September). I have 6 survivors, all of which live in my kids rooms (the light and peace) or the front porch (the cat- dunno what I'll do in the fall). They've been surviving, although they have disturbing layers of dust, all of them. I was just too busy to care for them, and of course wasn't going to kill them (on purpose), so I handed them off to my kids, and they just seem to be of the hearty variety (nearly all succulents, come to think of it).

But I have missed actively working with houseplants. I didn't realize how much until my Dad gave me a "houseplant collage" (I have a posting of that name with the pic), and I am so excited now to repot the individual plants. Still not sure where they should go, but you guys are right- caring for plants is just such an amazing thing, and brings so much joy.

cheers -
Jenny

I have enjoyed rereading this thread as misery loves company. Misery is a bit strong of a word for my challenges. They just keep coming and coming but fortunately I continue to have many blessings in with the challenges.

I seem to do best with plants that prefer to be underwatered. I love to water my plants on friday and saturday. So plants that prefer being watered on other days tend to bite the dust. I don't know what I would do without some of my plants. They just make my day and give me that little bit of pleasure that makes the challenges easier to handle.