On another thread recently, a regular poster here did a *:facepalm:* which perfectly expresses my feelings when I see "window boxes" in posts about landscaping. Honestly, spare yourself. How the heck would you water the things, and if you could they'd drip on your cars... Ditto for clematis up the posts. Very romantic - in summer - but have you ever seen clematis in winter? And they do grow INTO eaves; they do not naturally curve out and go over the roof. Ask me how I know. Blank slates, big or small, are daunting until you start fleshing out the parameters and constraints you face, which can be best done by looking really hard at function. In this case, these include preservation of sight lines, shade and sun preferences, and property lines, both on the ground and in the air. So for example, you want shade on your son's room - so put a tree in spot A. But choose a tree that does not make an overwhelming mess nor spread or seed excessively (hint to my neighbours: not a Norway Maple). You want some screening probably just at a certain spot when people are looking from a certain height to a certain height. A wall of green may not be necessary to block this - perhaps three columnar evergreens, either upright or droopy or some of each. The property line looks like it is a huge issue to me. It looks to me as if your neighbour will want to have walkable space next to that boat, and will step on your plants if they don't have it. Having had my fill of neighbour issues, I personally would either leave that area for them to do something with, or do it in flagstone with ground cover or in brick - end of story. Then it's space you can use to weed or prune your plants too. Legal issues aside, it just has to work on a day to day basis. Now, the next step is debatable depending on whether you DIY or are having this done for you. You see, a designer always has to do a plan in advance and then get approval and work to it, because the designer then goes away. If you are DIY, you have the luxury of feeling your way through this, because you're always going to be there. And plants can be moved. In other words, the designer has to get it right first time. In contrast, you get to make a few mistakes, and change your mind. Yes, it can cost an extra few dollars, but if you get it mostly right, not that much. First maybe you address a boulder(s). If your husband is a rock person, I'd go along with this, because I am one and I know that when you need rocks, you need rocks. If you don't get your rock, you suffer from rock envy, which can make a person grumpy. Go rock shopping together (or watch craigslist or your local construction sites for free ones). Next, you go plant shopping. You get a few plants. You may find tall slender evergreens among them - there are some great junipers in this category (also some great ground-hugging junipers for the front end of the driveway) and some amazing drooping spruces. You argue about where to put them, and then you go back to the nursery a few weeks later and get a few more (lots of new stock coming in through the season, don' t just go once). Then you plant and live with it. Move it around if something isn't right (in the fall, not in the summer). (It is already actually a little late to plant without being sure of watering adequately this first summer - be aware of that). You might find yourself picking up a few new plants as the weeks or months, or years, go by. In a way, though, all my advice is only going to lead you to one key realization: what you and your husband each want is not incompatible. There's plenty of room on that strip for both of you. KarinL

Hey VvDd, Nice pix, thanks for posting another example of the extraordinarily regenerative powers of some members of the Crassulacae family!

GOTCHA!! I see the whole picture here! Thank you all for your imput! It is very understandable and I see things a lot clearer now. Choosing non-married couples makes sense for a lot of reasons. I am no longer miffed and will be very supportive. Actually, I am kind of glad it happened this way because it will allow my fiance a better understanding of the relationship I have with my own god daughter. He is such a wonderful partner and father, that any child he is able to have an intimate relationship with would be truly blessed anyway. No - I am not Catholic, but the rest of my family is. To Carla35 - Yes I do know what it means to be a God Parent. I am a God mother to my best friends' daughter. We baptized our son last July so I am very familiar with the Catholic religions practices regarding God parents and the sacrament of baptism. To Colleenoz - My fiance's neices and nephews not calling me aunt doesn't bother me. I used it as an example for you all to better understand my relationship with the children. It is up to their parents and them as to what they call me and if they ever decide to even call me "aunt". Also - we DO have tentative wedding dates set for either November 1st or 8th of 2008. We plan to marry in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Thank you all for your comments!

Kraftymom, thank you and you are so right about painting, it is about fun and expressing yourself. You know I never notice imperfections in other people's work just my own. It's true we are our own worst critics. Why is it we have the need to point out the mistakes (most people would never notice if we didn't)? Our teacher has a "rule" in our class...even though she has to keep reminding us of it a lot...."You are not allowed to criticize your own work". Now who in the heck would criticize someone else's??? But really if you don't quite like how something is working on your piece she will try to let you know what you can do to correct it and it usually works :). Using too little paint and too small of a brush is usually my BIG problem :) Luthien Thank you for your nice comments. I too would love to get lost in a nice peaceful place like that, every time I paint one I think I'd just love to jump right in. I'm a little silly right there with ya. Happy Painting, Diane