Listen to me, Tisha, just stand by her the best you can---you do know only part of the story---and even if it is in response to outside factors, the pain to HER is still real. I've included a link that might help. http://my.clevelandclinic.org/disorders/factitious_disorders/hic_munchausen_syndrome.aspx My sister Margie, was diagnosed with Manchausen's years ago by one of the many Dr's she saw sometime after our Mom died. We know she did have Lyme's Disease from a tick bite she got in Ct. while delivering a horse----down here in the South----it had barely ever been heard of at that time---the aches and hurting joints all played their part in her suffering, though. Margie, after years of missing Mom so much, (They were celestial twins in the universe. They loved and fought each other more than anyone else on earth..) she began to rely more and more on painkillers---her husband would call and I would go over and try to help, but finally gave up----she was too much out of control and would go into screaming frenzies---we were never very close and that made it easier for me to just stay away from her. Margie's husband called early one morning to say she had died sometime in the early morning hours in a bathtub, with a syringe with partially dissolved painkiller medication in it. We went to St. Mary's Hosp. in Richmond to see her. I walked in the room with my family and and it was the FIRST time I'd seen peace on her face since our Mom died in 1984. Margie died July 27, 1997. I was relieved to see peace, not pain. She had a wisp of a smile on her face----the same sweet smile she had when she was a little girl.... I'm telling you this because you will always be plagued with questions. You will NEVER know the whole truth. It's her journey, Tisha and you can only help so much. Someday, you might not be able to help at all. What you CAN do is try your best to support her, even if it's a 'Thinking of You Card' in the mail--it's something positive for her to connect with....being remembered. Just let her know you still care about her. ---And you can pray for relief and support for her, and guidance and patience for you. One thing that has gotten me through some rough times is the uncanny way 'Lucky Pennies' would always show up when I needed a boost. I would be doing some dirty job, tired and worried----and suddenly, there would be a Lucky Penny, right in front of me, waiting. I always heard the words, 'I Am with you' in my heart, with each penny I picked up out of the dirt and grime. It helped immensely. It never hurts to say a little prayer. I send you warm support, prayers, and a great big hug to help you along, Tisha.

bnicebkind, I am sure you are suspect about my advice. However, I have an exact replica of OP's MIL. MIL is the most overbearing, rude, miserable, critical (and those are the nice descriptions) individual I know. I found that once I stopped taking her comments to heart and let it go in one ear and out the other (rather than engaging her and allowing her to make me feel insecure), I was able to straighten my back, listen to her comments, consider the source, respond politely and wait for her to leave. My MIL is a person who's thoughts never process in her brain, they come straight out of her mouth without thought that one or another comment may be offensive, hurtful, critical, etc. If you don't allow someone to hurt you, you take the power away from them. Fake it at first if you have to, and eventually you will actually feel it. I spent years crying to my husband when I would have to be in her presence and she belittled me. DH gave me good advice. Call her on it. When she says something that you don't like, tell her. I do now. I never raise my voice, I never get worked up, I just tell her straight up what I don't like. I do not let her ruffle my feathers. It works better to disagree with her in the moment and then there aren't residual feelings of hurt or insecurity. It actually works like a charm. The incidents are fewer and further between. I also realized that I did not want my husband to fight my battles and I certainly did not want my husband to insist his mother like me. If she doesn't like me, I no longer care. When I started realizing that my life was none of her business, I did have the backbone to tell her so when she asked an improper financial question or a question I felt was too personal. Everyone has to go with their own comfort zone. I hated that she got to me regularly. I was feeling insecure, which I hated since that is not me. MIL knew she was pushing my buttons and worse, I was letting her. I have now diffused her and she no longer has that power to aggravate, hurt or insult me. I posted about just taking a seat in another room rather than ruin the whole family dynamic. That is what I do. I don't want to be the cause of everyone not being able to celebrate a holiday together. If MIL has pi$$ed me off recently, I just say hello when I walk in and go on my way to a different room. Of course, we will have to sit at the same table for dinner, but there are usually other family members and actually, they all know how she is. It isn't just me she unleashes this behavior on. She is rude to everyone at times, including strangers in public. We joke in the family that she has Turrets. Who would be hurt if I refused to go to family functions that she was attending. My DD wouldn't see her cousins, I love my SIL and the other family members. Actually, I'd be spiting myself. When I came into DH family, the dynamic was different, I was younger. I soon had a baby with many health problems which were not expected. MIL found a place to be critical and be overbearing in the advice department. I finally just told her that I was following what my DD's doctors wanted me to do and that when she completed her medical degree I would take her advice. Now, I don't feel insecure at all, I ignore her, come back at her, listen and let it go in one ear and out the other, or whatever it takes so as not to give her the satisfaction of upsetting, insulting me. I think as I grew older I also got alot wiser and realized that in the whole scheme of things, MIL was a blip on the radar. Example - new floor laid recently in kitchen, laundry and my office. MIL comes over unannounced/uninvited. Comments how nice the floor looks but the color really isn't right, such and such color would have been much better. Response: This is the color I chose because DH and I like it. End of subject, diffused her. Do I hate that she is the way she is, yes indeed. Will I allow her to abuse me the way she did for years, never again, nor will I have my husband fight my battles for me. Example: I attend a family (DH relatives) shower. Arrive with MIL & SIL. We sit down to eat at a very long table full of women. MIL stands up and introduces SIL to several women SIL did not know. I knew a few, but not many. She did not even acknowledge that I was seated in the room. When she was finished her introductions, I stood up and introduced myself as my DH's wife. It got the point across that I am worthy, whether she thinks so or not. I think she also looked badly to the relatives whom I did know who were watching her intentionally ignore me. I am sorry if my examples seem pollyanna, but they have worked for me. I don't feel badly, insecure, hurt or any other adjective that I formerly felt when MIL would descend on my home or when I had to interact with her. I also have never asked my husband to choose to one of us. That would be wrong in my opinion. As much as dislike her, she is his mother, the only mother he will ever have. I wouldn't want to have to choose my husband or my mother, why would I ask DH to do so? The way I deal with this situation is not for everyone. You need to have alot of self-esteem and a bullet proof vest over your heart. It starts with mostly false bravado, which eventually becomes actual bravery.

Hi Trin, I will certainly keep you, and your friend and her family in my thoughts any prayers. This very thing happened to a very close friend. He actually had a seizure in my front yard - I just held him in my arms and it was over just as quickly as it started. The lung cancer was just a very small piece of it. He had surgery and all seemed to be OK. Shortly thereafter, the brain tumor returned - it was a very aggressive form of cancer that he could not overcome. It was almost exactly a year after the initial seizure. He was such a strong person - physically, mentally and emotionally. It was such a shock to see that happen. I can imagine how you must feel. I am really so very sorry. Sending hugs your way, kiddo. gneegirl

Nicole I can well imagine the anxiety that those parents are feeling.I will keep them in my prayers, but as was stated before, they perform miracles with medicine these days. That being said it would be so much better for the babies if they can just hold on for a week more. My daughter had twins just 2 years ago November a boy and a girl. She delivered two weeks before her due date. They are just the best !! Have you posted any new pics of your little one recently? We love baby pics. Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family. June