Yes, it is a tossup. But as pippimac says mixing an invasive perennial with one that has trouble fighting weeds means you will not have a problem in three years. It will be raspberry in the sun and raspberry in shade. Perhaps you should consider rhubarb in shade, asparagus in sun, and raspberry elsewhere. That would work very well.

Nope, I haven't left or thrown out my last remaining citrus, yet. I thought I posted a response a while back but apparently it did not go through. Anyway, for what it's worth I want you all to know how nice it is reading your replies. It also makes me see how complex this issue is, because the challenges really are so different for each person. I've never actually lost a plant poncirusguy! Never had a single disease either, just struggled with scale and occasional mites, and thrown whichever plants I got tired of into the compost heap! There is no question in my mind about the cause of my (and certain others') problems growing citrus this way... that the growing conditions are just too unnatural. Obviously this does not apply to people like fruitnut, who have the plants in the ground, and maintains a wonderfully controlled environment in his greenhouse. Still he admits that his fruit is not the best quality (mine has actually been better than market quality overall, but poor yields).

Chinacat..."it's not the smoke, it's the slacker who's abusing it. the prayer goes 'blessed art thou who has sanctified us by thy commandments, and given us the herb of the fields' by the way... and 'treat your body as a temple' applies just as much to things like white sugar and Pringles as it does to anything else..." You said it. I do know productive members of society who smoke, and I know others who abuse their bodies with food, abuse their minds with television. It's not the guns killing people, it's the people killing people. That said, perhaps that is his one vice? If he works as hard as she says he does, he must need some time to relax. Also, is he a homeowner? I thought it was the OP's house. If it is, then expecting him to contribute and feel equal may be difficult. Have you tried interesting him in exercise? That gives a great natural high. Does he have hobbies you could share? If you're really not interested in being with him because he smokes, yet you knew he smoked, did not ever own a home, etc... prior to getting married, you set yourself up for failure. Don't blame him for your inability to change him. You married a bachelor who has the social and homemaking skills of a college student (no offense to college students!) He doesn't want to grow up. You already have. Invite him to grow up with you, or get out. You deserve more, and your kids deserve more. By the way, don't ever assume kids don't know what's going on. They will find out sooner or later, and you will have to reconcile the "don't do as I do (or DH does) but do as I say" and we know that never works. I'm sorry, but you said to be frank. I mean no judgement. Best of luck to you.

I'm recuperating!!! I thought i had the mumps !!! Ever see a 69 yr old with those?? It started wednesday and then yesterday i went to the dr.He doesn't think it's the mumps,rather thinks it's a clogged saliva gland.Put me on antibiotics,and warm moist compressess a few times a day and i have to suck on sour lemon drops to help keep stones from forming in the gland.I had never heard of any of this before yesterday.He also sent me to the lab to have blood drawn to rule out other possibilities of what it might be. My face is so swollen and very tender,had a hard time sleeping.Hope it goes away quickly.Don't really feel sick or anything,just pain. In fact this afternoon i went out and spray painted one of my plant stands. Tomorrow i should iron if i feel up to it,we'll see. Have a great weekend everyone. Kathi