It's no wonder people think gardeners are nutjobs.

16 years ago

Seriously, can we blame them at all? Think about it from their perspective. Each of these listed actions are taken from other threads, most of them on the front page this morning.

Dandilions - WYou call it a weed, I call it food.

We put plastic turkeys, plastic owls and inflatable snakes in yards.

We chase turkeys across a field yelling "TURKEY, TURKEY, TURKEY!".

We sneak up on plastic bags in the middle of the night to move bumblebees.

We run electric fences out to defend against the threat of...bunnies?

We scamper about with a make-up brush swabbing flowers on vines and stems.

We pick up bugs and drop them into buckets of soapy water. (Saving them puppies for later! woohoo!)

We thump tomato flowers.

We brag about beating moths. "I got me them little SVB b*stards!"

We cringe before grasshoppers and welcome spiders.

The first thing that comes to mind when someone puts paper in a shredder is "SWEET! Mulch and compost!".

We give them food. (give this a chance) "Hey, I spent 500 hours this year outside, freezing, sweating, laboring, dusting, pollenating, covering, uncovering, digging, tilling, raking, planting, mulching, sweeping, swabbing, thumping, picking and weeding to make these!! Here...you can have them." Thankful they may be..it must seem wierd to them.

We test our dirt. Literally. We test it. It's dirt.

We believe in good bugs. We actually promote them. Bugs!

I'm gonna start weeding my beds in a loinclotch while speaking to an imaginary friend in an overloud voice about the complexity of soil PH and warn all the neighbors who watch me that they must be VERY CAREFUL around the turnips, as they are in heat. Springtime y'know!

Clock

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Comments (32)

val_s
16 years ago
LOL! I am new to gardening (at least in a serious way) and I have never done any of these things. But...I'm thinking I probably will :-)

Val
booberry85
16 years ago
LOL! These were great. To add to the list:

We smoosh slugs and snails (and brag about it).

We brag about having worms (something your cat or dog would never do!)

We welcome toads and snakes too.
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clockwork
Original Author
16 years ago
Proud nutjobs unite!

Clock
lilacs_of_may
16 years ago
We BUY bugs. Most people pay to get rid of bugs. We pay to get more.
nchomemaker
16 years ago
What a fun thread! I want to add one. I was out there this morning planting cardboard again! LOL!And yes, I have neighbors who can see what I'm doing and they probably think I'm nuts! I use it for mulch and cover it with a bit of soil to 1.keep it from flying away with the wind and 2.to keep my garden looking nice.
nygardener
16 years ago
We're horrified if someone wastes perfectly good corn husks, watermelon rinds, basil stems, lettuce cores, etc. by throwing them in the trash!

Our idea of a beautiful spring day: foggy, on the chilly side, with a fine rain and more in the forecast.

We don't think squirrels and chipmunks are cute. At all.

We mentally multiply the proportions for every recipe we read by at least five.

We can always find more freezer space.

We may get along fine with our neighbors, but we can never have enough fencing material.

When we see a beautiful lawn, our eyes are focused about two feet above it as we imagine what we could plant there!
marial1214
16 years ago
We garden naked under the moonlight. Well, I actually thought about doing this.
lilacs_of_may
16 years ago
Not me. Not with my nosy neighbors. They have noseprints on their windows.
clockwork
Original Author
16 years ago
Well, sometimes our neighbors are well-justified. Some of us ARE nutjobs. ;)

Clock
raisemybeds
16 years ago
We pull the car over to grab a discarded elephant-shaped plastic toybox because, hey, with a little spray paint that could make a very nice squash planter.
hamiltongardener
16 years ago
DH laughs because we are spreading "garbage and sh*t" (vegetable scraps and manure) all over our gardens.
cziga
16 years ago
We talk to our plants like people, urging them on!

Seriously though, I don't welcome spiders, no matter how good they might be for the garden . . . eeeeugh. One crawled out of the dirt as I was planting my peppers today into the hole in my glove. Then the neighbours REALLY must have though I was nuts :) I was jumping around screaming and waving my hand around, lol. My dog certainly thought I was certifiable! Nope, no spiders for me thanks. Someone else can have 'em.
gumby_ct
16 years ago
Not sure if I should be flattered to receive honorable mention (in at least a couple)
ie. moving bees at midnight? NOT gonna happen.
Now if it was slugs, I'd say yeeeehah count me in. Anyone got a recipe for slugs? ;-)
Them things gotta be good for somethin?

Then I read -
--...and I have never done any of these things.
and I thought can't be a gardener then.

Time for the slug rounds...oh and varmit patrol too.

Forgot to mention talking to the skunks who pass in the night. ha
esp. the one in the backseat (goin for a ride).

Yea, this guy is certifiable.
ta taaah
clockwork
Original Author
16 years ago
I deem it necessary to bump this at least once. Any thread that has a menntion of naked gardening has got to be worth one more day on the front page.

Clock
hortist
16 years ago
some spray toxins and poisons on there plants so they dont have to eat bugs or have better tasting and healthier food
ninjabut
16 years ago
Put those snails in a box with a bunch of cornmeal for a couple of weeks and you have Escargo! (SP?)
That's where CA snails origionated!
Also, got VERY excited about my neighbor cleaning out her horse barn! Used manure!!!!!!! Woo HOooo!
I've got chicken manure ready to make into manure tea! Another woohoo! Also a fish pond to empty! WooHoo#3!
Nancy
bettsyy
16 years ago
I don't chase turkeys, I chase RABBITS clapping my hands yelling OUT OUT OUT :)
hamiltongardener
16 years ago
One day I will walk out into my garden ready to do war on the garden pests complete with combat boots, camoflage clothing and helmet, chomping a cigar between my teeth.

The neighbors will REALLY think I've lost it.

"By day, a mild mannered accountant. By night, Attila the Gardener"
clockwork
Original Author
16 years ago
Attilla the Gardener..sounds like a Dick Tracy villan.

And yeah...as Ninja pointed out, we make tea out of poo.

Clock
kabuti
16 years ago
I do refer to my garden as the 'Battle Zone' & my G-Grandfather was said to have been a 'nude gardener', he lived to 106 yrs. Is that nutty?
granite
16 years ago
my husband calls it "combat gardening" when I sally forth to tackle the yard
lilacs_of_may
16 years ago
Between the prickler weeds, the mosquitoes, the bees and wasps, the spiders, the sandy soil...uh, no. I don't think I'd want to try nude gardening.
ole_dawg
16 years ago
Don't forget that we sometimes pee at the edge of our gardens to keep the deer away, comb our cats and dogs and scatter the fur around the garden. Growing fur again? Put Epson Salt in the garden instead of a foot soak.
pnbrown
16 years ago
We pee in bottles and age it like wine. Right? Don't we?
gardener_sandy
16 years ago
We have been known to pull out a 25 year old azalea border right by the front door so we could plant our veggies close at hand. It sure does make it easier to keep the hungry critters out and the veggies watered. Friends and family actually understand! Goes to show that nutjob behavior comes to be expected of some of us.
trisha_51
16 years ago
My kids laugh about the time I ran a moose out of my garden while waving a broom! Well, I was mad! I did not want her lying down in the strawberry patch and munching everything around her!!! We are nuts, aren't we? :) I't a very good life! :)
clockwork
Original Author
16 years ago
LOL Pnbrown, omg best answer.
booberry85
16 years ago
Trisha! LOL! I did the same thing to chase away deer!
sac_zone9
16 years ago
Ok, so if I pee in my strawberry containers will it keep the squirrels (tree RATS) away?! Will the ammonia harm the plants? I promise to only do it after dark. ;)
yopper
16 years ago
Don't every body bury used sanitary napkins under their tomato plants YOPPER
bettsyy
16 years ago
When I water the garden the robins start gathering, so I sing to them, I sing to the tune of Mrs. Robinson, I just change it to Mr. Robin and make up the words as I go along........And here's to you Mr. Rooobin you can have all the bugs that you may want..............
kek19
16 years ago
Yopper, people actually do that?? It seems like that would attract varmits.

It's no wonder people think gardeners are nutjobs.

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val_s

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