Anyone else find it hard to let a bad trade go when..

18 years ago

the person keeps reappearing looking for trades?Well I do and I know I shouldn't as lifes to short.Its not really about the plants I didn't receive or the ones I sent(a little about the postage though)but its more about no explanation given.Also about trust I believe.When you see someones name that appears often during some seasons for trading you trust that this person is a good trader as they seem to trade regularly during these times.This was a trade in the early fall,I sent mine to her and she has never answered a e-mail from me since except for once when I saw her looking for something and I answered directly into her post,she e-mailed then to let me know she didn't remember a trade with me.I was able to refresh her memory with our corresponding e-mails we had before I sent my end of the trade(I delete no e-mails until a trade is completely finished)of course she didn't e-mail back nor do I expect her to this time either.I am really going to try to move on though and get over it this time..Debbie

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Comments (11)

woodthrush
18 years ago
I think it's just human nature for it to gnaw at you.
After all, it's just like having someone steal something from you. Go outside and give a big yell, curse her name and then
forget about her! lol. Think spring!
Pam
mrbrownthumb
18 years ago
LOL, Pam gives good advice. Did you see what happened in the seed exchange with someone who had a lot of traders who weren't happy? Oh man was that an interesting thread to read.

Chance are that a lot of people already have the same experience with the same trader and one day it will all catch up with the bad trader.
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I hope 2017 is a better year for you...and all of us. I am sorry the relationship didn't work out and sorry for the loss of your friend. Hugs to you on both accounts. 2016 wasn't the best year for me either....although, I admit, I have had worse...or, some pretty bad years anyway. My husband was in the hospital for 3 weeks, Thanksgiving, 2015. Then he couldn't work for six months. Throw in some boat break downs...more out of work. His brother died in July. They were very close...close in age...11 mo apart, and close in every way. A few months ago, his deckhand fell over board and was in the water for about 30 minutes before he missed her and found her. The water was very choppy, and the net swung around, hit her and knocked her over board. Thank goodness she used to have a pool and is an excellent swimmer. I would have drowned as soon as I went in the water. A couple of weeks ago, he was coming in from shrimping, coming across the bay, at 8 a.m. Had a good morning...on his way back to the dock early. Hit a pipeline that wasn't adequately marked. The buoy was the size of a basket ball and should have been about 4' in diameter. Got a rope and a cable in the propeller and hit so hard that it broke the bell housing off of his transmission. He has had a hard time finding a used one to buy. New is about $2900. He filed a claim and the oil company will pay but from just before Christmas, to after New Year's....they are shut down. So, we wait.......... Well, it sounds like all the bad luck befell my husband, but it all affects me too. Plus, I hurt my shoulder when one of the jacks reared up and I held on to him and then he came down and his hoof hit my back, right where my shoulder joins. I was leading him by holding onto the halter (without a lead rope) and I shouldn't have done that. I don't know when it stopped hurting....it just dawned on me today that it doesn't hurt any more....but now my hip is very bad and I am in constant pain from that. Likewise, can't get a hold of my doctor until after the first. So.......I wait. Yes, I will be glad to see 2017!
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Chemocurl zn5b/6a Indiana
18 years ago
You have mail...
cheri_mn_524
18 years ago
Boy I hope I never offend or offended anyone, I've only had one bad one..
. If someone doesn't get there trade from me It's really out of pure unorginization..
And I would hope no one would have a problem contacting me to say
''HEY.. where is my stuff....
So maybe some day there will be a GW police chat where we can warn people.. Criminal records are puplic records..
Good luck
woodthrush
18 years ago
Lol - posters on telephone poles. "Have you seen this plant molester/seed snatcher?" Registered flora offenders. Ok, I need more coffee - lol
Pam
irish_rose_grower
18 years ago
Yes, I would find it hard. Especially if they were still on the forum!! I've been lucky not to get burned yet.

I'll email you directly.

Maureen
mrbrownthumb
18 years ago
LOL @ Pam.
koszta_kid
18 years ago
If you email this person -stating you will file mail-fraud charges. I did this last year. Kinda funny after no e-mails in 6 months . And I had mailed her 10 times. Got e-mail in 20 minutes. And Nice looking plants in a week. yes it does tick you off. Stealing -is stealing.
wanna_run_faster
18 years ago
DebbieP,
I know exactly how you feel. When I was brand new, I got a really nasty cursing me out, telling me I existed in my own little bubble, etc email from someone who took offense to a general and not negative in any way post that I made. The original comment that I made had absolutely nothing to do with the individual who sent me the 2 and a 1/2 page rant. It really upset me and I emailed her back apologizing that she thought my comment somehow had something to do with her. She never even responded again. Later I learned that she "rants" on a regular basis and had previously been "suspended" because of it. But she does post every couple of months begging for this or that thing that she desperately needs for the poor dying & helpless people that seem to surround her. Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. I know I have to get over it, but everything I see a post from her, it raises my blood pressure! I really have to work at taking a deep breathe and moving on but sometimes it takes a lot of effort! :)
bellie
18 years ago
I had not traded for a long long time. I had been cheaated several time and i was told that some change names. I have 2 bad traders that I can not forget, i did did not even delete their names in my computer so that when I scan my emails I get reminded that there are people who thrives on this bad, bad part of their lives. Trading is a lot of work for me. it takes time to get the package ready and a trip to the post office is time consuming. Some traders are not generous and a lot of the plants died.Now I prefer to just buy but the few trades that I had done over the years, i have few friends and one in particular that I correspond often.It is heartbreaking because we expect that people should be honest but we are not all christians. I said enough!!!! Bellie
claysoil
18 years ago
It has to be infuriating to see someone posting for trades who never followed through with the one they owe you! You have to ask yourself how people live with themselves? I'm under the impression that some people turn around and sell our plants.

Well, a good friend of mine once calmed me down by saying, "It'll all come out in the wash." It took a few years for that particular situation, but he was sooooo right in the end. I just lived my life and did what I knew was right, and boy, did she ever get it back in her face. Of course, those who are intentionally "preying" on us just laugh when we say things like this, what suckers we are to send them plants for nothing. Well Debbie, you've made your choice about which side of the fence you are on and which people are "your kinda people". I think it was the right one!

Anyone else find it hard to let a bad trade go when..

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woodthrush

mrbrownthumb

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