I wouldn't call all Clematis dummy proof. There is a good list of starter Clematis: http://www.clematis.com.pl/wms/wmsg.php/ I suggest learning as much as you can, then buy one, and you will be rewarded with a serious addiction. The passion flower: If people in your area say they don't grow well in your climate, I'd trust them :-) The slope: What is the soil like and how much sun does it get during the day? Slopes are difficult. Using one type of ground cover always shows weeds. That's not a bad thing if you don't mind getting the weeds out of the ground cover a few times a year. If you live in the country, maybe seed the whole thing with low growing wild flowers; the weeds won't be so noticable. If you live in a neighborhood where people maintain perfect lawns, the slope will always look to be a mess to some degree. To avoid that, terracing the slope and adding irrigation will allow you to have a tidy yard, but the cost is high. If you do live in the country, and are isolated, search the term prairie restoration or short grass prairie restoration, and look for a group in your area, or the state park system that is restoring prairies; most states have some sort of a program, or at least know which types of plants work best in for climate. Prairies can be quite beautiful in an uncultered sort of way. If you have neighbors close by, be prepared for hate mail if you choose to go this route. Good luck!

LindaC, now you're talking Elery's language. He spent his teen years working in a small neighborhood grocery owned by an Italian family. Now we sometimes go to GB Russo's and he gets a sandwich from the deli, much like you describe, but with a special "dressing" that seems a lot like vinegar and oil with herbs to me. The capicola is too spicy, the raw onions give me heartburn, even if I pick off the hot peppers the residue remains and I don't like vinegar and oil dressing, LOL. So, I'll pass, but Ashley and Elery think they've gone just this side of heaven. (grin) Ashley likes the addition of mortadella on hers, and as far as I can see, that's bologna! I've had Jimmy John's once and that was enough, and the only sub joints here now that I've moved is Subway, Mancino's and Jimmy John's. They all have way too much bread and not enough "stuff", so if there's no other choice I'll throw away the top half of the bread and eat the rest of the sandwich. I do the same thing with most restaurant sandwiches anyway, everything now has seemed to go to "artisan" bread and it's inches thick, far more bread than filling. Annie

Hi Cindrillon, I feel obliged to respond to your post, since it mirrors my life so closely. I am an American, married to a Frenchman living in France with 2 step sons (6 and 8 years old). Although we have them EOW plus 1-2 days per week. I have a couple of questions. How long have you been living in France? Do you work? Do you have many friends here? I ask this because I started following this forum because I was having major problems adapting to life with my step sons when I moved here 2 years ago. I felt they were rude, babied, not very kind towards me, etc. And I wasnt completely wrong. They yelled at adults and no one reprimanded them, they didnÂt do anything for themselves, couldnÂt (still canÂt) tie their shoes, didnÂt dress themselves, had at potty chair that they still used! Keep in mind they were 4 and 6 at the time. I think a lot of this has to do with culture. To me it seems the French donÂt value kids being independent as much as Americans do. It also has to do with guilt on my DHÂs side. Plus, everyone was so busy fighting and getting through the divorce earlier that I think, unfortunately the kids kind of slipped through the cracks a little bit in the "life lessons" department. However, I think a major part was me too. I was in a new country, I couldnÂt speak the language well, I felt overwhelmed, tired, and every problem was magnified. Plus, since my life was so narrow (only DH and work) when something was going wrong it felt like my entire world was going wrong. But, it gets better. The kids adjusted, your DH will adjust and YOU will adjust. My DH was good and stepped up to all the "parenting". He let (and lets) me have time by myself if needed. Whereas before he felt we needed to re-create a family and do everything together. But you canÂt force it. (It probably will come, though.) Get out and about. Do things for yourself. Pick up a hobby. I wonÂt say learn the language because thatÂll come naturally (and trust me, the last thing I wanted to do after a long day and a 3 hour round trip commute was sit my butt in a language class). Now weÂre happily married, waiting on our 1st baby together (which the Step Sons are thrilled about), with ups and downs like any other family. I still get annoyed at the kids but itÂs more for "kid" things than "step-kid" things. So, to recap my rambling post Make sure you DH does the "parenting", but jump in for the fun times and try to build a bond. Try your hardest to be nice to your SS. He can sense your feelings even if you donÂt voice them, and youÂll get nowhere. Take time for yourself and try to build your life here. Be patient. Problems always seem magnified when your dealing with so much change to begin with. I know this stuff isnÂt always easy, and IÂm still working on it, too. But I found that it helped me immensely. Also, thereÂs an online group in France for parents called MESSAGE. Maybe look into that. TheyÂve got great support and are always organizing outings. And if youÂd like, let me know and you can email me personally. ItÂs always better when someone understands your situation. Hope things get better. Hang in there.

For what it's worth, we had the same situation in that we originally costed based on custom cabinets, and then decided we needed to cut back the budget substantially. The first thing to change was the cabinets. The GC was initially very reluctant, but my DH basically sat him down, told him this was what we'd decided, and if he felt it would be beneath him, or not good for his professional reputation, we would quite understand if he wanted to refuse the job. He confirmed that he did want to do the job (and I do know he's not short of work) and would accept what we wanted to do. He's worked on the house before, and we know him pretty well by now. He raised his concerns with me only once more, but I didn't get into it much: just reminded him that this was what we wanted, that I appreciated him raising his concerns, but based on my experience in the UK, this was what I'd chosen. Since then, we've worked together closely on all the ordering including all the trim pieces necessary, and so on, and it's been smooth going. Incidentally, for those that don't know, all the cabinets for the US market are manufactured in the US, but in accordance with German environmental standards, which are the highest in the world. And there's a 25 year warranty. Particle board is pretty much the norm across Europe and my friends are very surprised at the reluctance of US builders to use something so tried and tested.