I would just bring something whenever I remembered and had a chance. I only went out to our house once a week, so not more often than that. Sometimes once a week for a few weeks in a row. Sometimes we went a month without anything. I'd bring donuts or bagels if in the morning. Fruit if we had gone by the farm and they had a bunch of something (peaches, persimmons, whatever). We dry fruit and make beef jerky, so I'll bring some of that if we just made some. We buy lunch if we're particularly happy with them about something -- passed a major inspection, did an excellent job on something, did something we asked for that was out of the scope, etc. Or if we hear it's someone's birthday or anniversary or something else special, we try to remember to bring something nice, like a bottle of wine if they drink or a cake or whatever. They seem to really appreciate it, and it's something we enjoy doing. They definitely don't seem to expect it. We bring it for whoever is working when we stop by. We usually know about how many guys will be there, and if there's extra, they can take it with them.

Okay, speaking from personal experience, usually when a guy starts looking at porn it's because they aren't getting certain things they might sexually be interested in or there is a more deep seated issue in the relationship. People also usually only hide things for one of three reasons. 1) They are trying to protect someone they care about but we can pretty safely rule this out since he knows that you know. 2) They are afraid of negative consequences and since you have already likened porn to cheating {which is a bit mental if you ask me} he is likely afraid that admitting he has a fairly natural urge will cause him to lose you. 3) There is some shame in their actions and honestly, I hate to say it because people are going to yell that I'm blaming tyhe victem when I'm not, it's most likely you that's causing him to feel that shame. Your view on porn makes it taboo which is always both tantalizing and shameful. I have to ask this and no you don't have to answer, just think about my questions. 1) Have you ever considered using porn to spice up your love life with him? Consider putting on a porno while you and he are laying in bed together and just see if you can't get him to stand at attention for you. Use the thing you don't necessarily like to get the "thing" you really want. 2) Ever tried looking at what he searches and maybe, if your comfortable with it, incorporate one or two of those things into your love life? If it's something he enjoys then why not enjoy it with him? You both get what you want at that point which shows compromise and compromise is one of the basic building blocks to any relationship. 3) Consider this, if you two do the same thing every time you two get together then isn't it possible he's just a little bored? Not bored of you but bored of the same position you two make love in or even just bored of thesurroundings. Get a babysitter for the night and have a romantic evening to yourselves but don't go home. Rent a hotel room and have fun there. It would help to break him out of the rut that he may feel his life has gotten into. Do not take this as a strike against you, sometimes guys just get tired of the same thing over and over again. Mind you, I stress that you remember these are only suggestions to help you make your marraige stronger and help you grow as a couple. Feel free to ignore my advice as you please but remember that I've been in a position I think might be similar to the one he is in and I'm simply sharing with you what I myself have dealt with personally.

Other than the fact that it is a bit stiff, is there anything particularly Wrong with it for a 44 year old room? If so, what changes would you make? It's too cluttered, fussy and rigid. It has a good traffic flow. The mirror would go, not because it's bad, but those warped reflections make me nauseous (it's an optic thing). A flat mirror with good glass clarity in that spot would be fine. Assuming it has colors I liked and comfortable seating, I would clean off the tables, rip out the carpet and use a nice oriental rug on polished hardwood. The lambrequin might go or be recovered with something less formal. Lamps are OK, would replace scalloped shades for less formal linen ones. Because the colonial era was a big trading era, I would invent a family member who "was in shipping" and sent back interesting things. I would hang more paintings, fewer non-paintings. Mirror on the right would go, hang a nice landscape instead.

I hate it when life gets in the way of shopping. I try to have a well-balanced lifed during gardening season: spending half my time gardening and the other half shopping for the garden. Well, I'm just kidding about that, but Tim would say that we do seem to spend an inordinate amount of time at this time of the year looking for this or that, and he's probably right. I like having all the right supplies, tools, etc. on hand before the hot and heavy part of the garden season starts. I hate having to leave the garden to go buy something that I should have sitting in the potting shed.