Olychick, I can't stop laughing at yours!

Reminds me of the old cartoon my boss always used to use of a family sitting around the table. Father says to the children, "Due to the high inflation, I'm going to have to let two of you go."

A young man goes into a drugstore to buy cOndoms. The pharmacist tells him they come in packs of 3, 9, or 12 and asks which he'd like. "Well," the young man says, "I've been seeing this girl for a while, and she's really hot. I think tonight's the night. We're having dinner with her parents, then we're going out afterward. I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky... and once she's had me, she'll want me all the time. Better give me the 12-pack." So he buys the cOndoms and leaves. Later that evening, he's sitting at dinner with the girl and her parents. He asks if he can say the blessing and they agree. He starts praying... and keeps praying..and praying... for several minutes. Finally, the girl leans over and whispers, "You never told me you were such a religious person." He whispers back, "You never told me your father was a pharmacist."

An old farmer writes to his son in prison: "Dear son, this year I won't be able to plant potatoes because I can't dig the field by myself. I know if you were here you would help me!" The son writes back: "Dad, don't even think of digging the field because that's where I buried the money I stole!" The police read the letter and the next day the whole field is dug up by police looking for the money, but nothing is found. The following day the son writes again: "Now plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I can do from here!"