I guess I get the not asking for help when I need it, but I think that is a character flaw on my part. I'm getting better at it. But why should she have to check her bag just because she is short. I have often seen a short person in the grocery store looking at something on a high shelf. I always offer to get whatever it is. But to that point, I have gone into the pet aisle, gotten a kitty litter scoop, taken it to the aisle I needed to reach something high, used it and returned it. So I get how that feels. I could have asked for help but didn't.

Perhaps she could scale down her carry on to allow it to fit under the seat rather than expecting help. I'm pretty independent though so wouldn't ask for help from flight attendants or other passengers.

I wonder why I feel that way? It's not like the flight attendant is going to say "no". But I understand the feeling of not wanting to ask. I have been trying to do much better in that department. I haven't yet had someone deny me help.

"A woman complained that no one helps her stow her carry-on unless she can catch the eye of a flight attendent."

People are very quick to blame others but often don't examine their own behavior, and I think we do need to know more about her behavior in this situation. Was she standing there looking like she's waiting for something but not actually giving any indication she needs help with the bag? In other words, is it obvious to others she needs help? If I were boarding and saw someone just standing there with no indication they needed help, I would say "excuse me" as I passed by (presuming there was enough room to pass by); I might figure they were waiting for their seat-mate or something or other. Now, if she asked for help and was refused or it was obvious she was struggling with her bag, then I do think that's inconsiderate of someone to not help her if they are capable of doing so.

If I repeatedly struggled with an issue, I would try to figure out a way to resolve the issue. Like get a carry-on that fits under the seat, check a bag, or ASK a flight attendant as she is boarding -- every time I've flown there's at least one or two attendants at the front of plane greeting passengers. Again -- back to HER behavior.

IME when John Q Public sees that someone needs help, the majority will step right in to help even when the other person doesn't ask. Of course there are exceptions and jerks are everywhere, and that's what we tend to hear about -- but day in and day out people DO help other people. THAT news just doesn't sell, though...

So we are squished cheek to jowl with strangers yet feel shy to ask for help? i cant lift my bag easily due to bum shoulders, but someone is always willing to help me, even without being asked. It only makes sense to help to keep the line moving.

I find it just as hard to get a bag off the carousel.

I haven't flown in quite some time, but when I did as I boarded the plane there was always an airplane staff welcoming me and the other passengers on. If they still do this, could she ask that person to arrange for assistance?

I understand about the carryon as she travels for business and you certainly dont want to check your bag if at all possible but surely she couldnt be much of a business person if she doesnt like to talk to strangers. Ask.

I havent flown in some time but I do have to use an electric cart if I go in the grocery store these days and I meet two types, those who look at you as an impediment and do these suicidal dives right in front of you to get past you and those who will kindly ask if they can get that for me. I have met alot of kindness. As a tall person I have been getting things off shelves for people most of my life-and helping people get that bag into the overhead-I feel like I am getting pay back.

The real issue here is the design of the overhead bins for average height and strength, so there will be many 5 foot tall passengers left out of reach. The frequent flyer of this short statue would be well aware of her capability in this situation and ask for help or choose to stow it under the seat. She may get frustrated if a flight attendant could not come to her immediately but others around her would be happy to help if she asks, can’t wait for spontaneous chivalry and be upset because many people don’t read minds. I would offer (and was to happy to help when asked) when I see someone struggle getting carry-on in or out of the overhead bins.

I’m somewhere in between. On the one hand I can’t imagine not offering help when I can, to someone who is obviously struggling. And I certainly judge those who just pass by. On the other hand, going through life simply expecting people to jump in and offer to help, seems kinda… I don’t know. Complaining when they don’t, worse.

While flight crew often helps, I don’t think it’s technically part of their job responsibilities and I’ve seen it said that they’re discouraged from helping.

"...I can’t imagine not offering help when I can, to someone who is obviously struggling:

Agree, but what we don't know in this woman's story is if she was actually struggling, or just standing in the aisle looking like everything was fine and hoping someone with magical mind reading abilities would help her.

A person too short to get a grocery item on a high shelf has no option but to ask for help. I gladly do that and sometimes offer to do so before having been asked, just following what someone may be looking at. "Can I help you?"

I have no patience for a short person who travels frequently for business who surely knows that reaching the overhead storage is beyond what they can do. Ditto people who fill bags to a weight they can't lift over their head. A frequent traveler knows there are often two simple alternatives - check the bag, or leave it at the entrance to the jetway. In the second case, ground staff stow it and bring it out after disembarkation to the entrance of the jetway on the terminal side.

I develop a lifting disability when a non-elderly and apparently fit but short person asks for my help. "Sorry, I have a bad shoulder and can't lift weight over my head". Elderly, I'm more understanding.

I've more than once experienced some people who've the nerve to ask me if I'll remove my own item from the overhead storage (usually a CPAP and a small backpack), to make room for theirs. "You can keep it under the seat in front of you".

No, I can't . That's where my feet go.

I'm short. When I travel alone, I ask the nearest tall man for help. I have helped others take bags down.

Just all part being courteous.

I don't want to encourage what I consider to be inconsiderate, self-fixated conduct. Especially in cases when I've checked my bags - I did so, you can too.

How about inconsiderate people who drive overly large vehicles and park them without regard to the inconvenience they cause others? I see that as the same problem. It's happened too many times to me (once is too many) when I've parked my appropriately sized car in a compact spot, and some jack boot decides to park their raised monster truck with oversized wheels in a spot it isn't intended to use, in such a way as to prevent my being able to get into my car. One time, I had no alternative but to wait for them to return. When they did, I said "Thanks for being so inconsiderate, I can't get in my car". The reply was "You could have crawled through the window on the other side". I said "Yeah, and you could have had the sense to realize there are other people in the world besides yourself and it's easy enough to pay attention to what you do, to avoid being inconsiderate to others".

Don't think of me as being overly macho - I'm above average in size but the driver of the monster truck demonstrated the adage that the body size, brain size, and possibly the size of other equipment of someone driving a needlessly large personal truck are inversely proportional to the size of their vehicle. He was a little guy wearing a T-shirt with rolled up sleeves. I felt relatively safe.

You know the type - a guy who'd be troubled putting a carry on in an overhead compartment. ;-)

And off the rails we go...

I have never been 5' tall in my life, and being nearly 80 yrs old have begun shrinking below my former top height of 4'11" slowly but inevitably. So I certainly do look for folk to help me reach things in stores -- I have NEVER been refused by any person, male or female. I don't even try to reach, I just approach the nearest taller person (just about everyone, lol), and say something along the lines of " could you help me? I'm going to be taller in my next life..." which always makes them laugh. A bit of humor goes a long way, doesn't it...

I may switch up my initial interaction with strangers with something new -- " Hi! I'm old enough to be your grandmother and would appreciate your help so much." =)

" And off the rails we go... "

You drive a big truck and park it inconsiderately?

“And off the rails we go...”

Management is going to want a statement!

It’s never a good thing being off the rails.

Demerit points are in the works. 😉 🚂

"I don't want to encourage what I consider to be inconsiderate, self-fixated conduct."

Neither do we. Please tell us what works. Asking for me and several dozen of my friends

I usually only travel with a carry-on and a CPAP bag, along with my purse. CPAP's are allowed to be included and not counted. I can lift my own carry-on into the overhead. Occasionally I've been behind someone, an elderly person or a short person who cannot lift their own bag, so I've assisted. Mostly to keep the line moving. I put my CPAP on the floor by my seat. I have lots of room for my feet and my CPAP and often place my purse on my CPAP bag. I've been on flights, especially full flights, where flight attendants have asked passengers who place their CPAP bags in the overhead to please place them on the floor by their seat to accommodate more carry-on bags in the overhead.

Management is going to want a statement!

1) It's the MOW crews fault!

2) The dispatcher had the switch in the wrong position.

3) A wheel went flat

Welcome back Rox. I thought you were staying longer. Hope you had a great time in the sun!

ETA: I saw your post on your other topic that you are still in the sun. Enjoy

“A bit of humor goes a long way, doesn't it...”

👍🏻!

I’m tall and only recall being asked for help reaching something in a grocery store. Never on a plane but would be happy to help if asked, no matter from whom.

" I have lots of room for my feet "

I don't. I'm over 6 feet tall and especially with newer (smaller) seat layouts some airlines have, I'm really packed in tightly. I try to get an aisle seat when possible but it's not always possible. For other than short flights, I typically pay extra for a roomier seat in more expensive cabin.

I always comply with any request of airline personnel, without hesitation. When I can't have my few things in the overhead, they spend the flight (except for take off and landing) in my lap. Should I have to be uncomfortable and inconvenienced for someone's selfish conduct? I don't think so.

I think air travel would be more comfortable for all if airlines banned "suitcase" carry-ons, prohibiting items larger than say a medium (not large) backpack. Maybe like 2' by 2'? Besides allowing everyone to stow their true "carry-on" items, think of how much more quickly passenger loading and unloading operations would be accomplished.

Lonejack, I’m still here for another week. I just walked in from the beach and I am sitting on my patio. It’s been slightly chilly all week but not bad.

Cloudy, sunny, cloudy,sunny…..

Good for you, Elmer 👏

No clue why you felt the need to explain yourself. I was describing what I do. I don't care what other people do.

Do whatever you feel like doing.

I'm no different than anyone else but when I choose to do something, I try to be mindful of not inconveniencing others. I do care what others do if they're oblivious to others and result in negative consequences for other people, including me. Not otherwise.

Oh, and for snarky you, what I explained was of a similar nature to and no different than what you explained about yourself. You were describing what you do, I did the same. Did you feel the need to explain YOURSELF? 👏

I love the good people who stepped up to say they would be glad to help any in need.

Cream always rises to the top:)

Air travel, particularly in coach, is not designed to be the most pleasant experience. Everything about a cabin is geared towards some “standard “size range of passenger - in quotes to be sure - outside of which many of us fall. A little cooperation at our own expense, goes a long way.

For example, when I’m sitting in front of a tall person, I will not recline my seat all the way back into them, crushing their knees. In exchange I’d hope that they avoid banging into my seat as best they can throughout the flight. Someone who describes themselves as having shoulders as wide as a yardstick is surely a person we pray will keep walking past us as they come down the aisle. I wouldn’t fault that person for encoaching on my space a bit, as long as they were taking obvious steps to avoid doing so. Their existence in the coach cabin is likely much more of an imposition throughout the flight than the few seconds it tekes to help someone lift a bag into the overhead. But we either make due, or we risk ending up on tiktok.

" Cream always rises to the top"

And mud always sinks to the bottom. :)

Food, do you memorize my comments?

I never recline my seat, irrespective of the height or lack thereof of the person behind me. Common courtesy. When there's someone sitting the adjacent seat in space-limited coach next to me, I sit at an angle and keep my shoulder(s) to myself. Or lean forward a bit. I also keep my hand off the common arm rest. I try to keep from "encroaching"

Did you also memorize my comment about always trying to get an aisle seat? Then it's just me and the flight attendants (and food carts) learning to get along and we almost always do. But I've been clobbered more than a few times and it can really hurt. I take it good-naturedly and such incidents remind them to call or tap me before passing by so I can get out of the way.

She should ask for help if she needs it, and not expect people to read her mind.

I understand why she doesn't want to check her bag, but I don't understand why she would expect others not to know she didn't have a solution for the problem she'd know she'd be facing. I don't have a lot of patience for people who need help but don't ask for it.

I haven't flown in years and don't miss it but reading all this, I know that the airlines get worse every year with smaller seats and less room. But feeling a bit claustraphobic at the thought of people traveling at the holidays with children and heavy winter coats.

I gave up reading the thread about halfway through, but I will say as a five-foot tall person, someone always is willing to give my bag an extra push if I'm struggling to get it into the overhead. I always test to ensure I can lift my bag over my head. I had no problem putting it into the overhead when you laid them flat, but now that you have to put them on their sides, it's a little difficult for me. Flight attendants generally will refuse to help as it's no longer part of their job description. I don't even bother to ask them.

At the grocery store, there's usually someone nearby who will help if I ask. Otherwise, I go to the front of the store and get an employee to assist me.

Kindness and empathy are in short supply these days.

Elmer, so much about your and your life is remarkable, that it would be impossible to memorize it all. But 36” shoulders stood out. They wouldn’t make it through a standard interior door straight-on. 36” is about double the width of any coach seat, so no, I absolutely would not want to sit next to you regardless of how politely you contorted yourself. I wouldn’t even want to sit next to someone my size if I could help it!

I am 5’ and try to stow carryon below my seat.

One trip my husband was recovering from knee surgery and insisted we travel to attend the wedding of his friend’s daughter. It would be a relatively short flight to SF, but negotiating LAX with husband in a wheelchair, and then o crutches in the plane was nerve wracking.

We were flying American, and one flight attendent outright refused to help me with the overhead bin — retrieving husband’s bag. Others reluctantly agreed to assist, even seeing my husband struggling on crutches.

Maybe my husband was wrong to insist on traveling in his condition, but I never expected the level of indifference that I encountered.

Needless to say we never flew again on American.

That experience was one if the few times I was so upset that I wrote to the company. Never even received an acknowledgment of my complaint.

I know some airlines forbid their cabin attendants from lifting passengers bags into the overhead bins, because they don't want to pay for any injuries resulting from that. They're not forbidden from helping fit everything that's already in there, but they can't actually do the lifting. I know it's a Delta rule, but I don't know if any others/how many others have the same rule.

" But 36” shoulders stood out. "

I suspect I used the comment as a metaphor. If that wasn't clear, it should have been. I've never known anyone with wider shoulders than I have. One of my lifelong, college era best friends is 6'7" and built like a middle linebacker. My shoulders are wider than his and I'm considerably shorter.

@Toronto Veterinarian, I was going to say that. Many airlines forbid their attendants from putting carry on bags into the overhead lockers.

My DH often assists people who are struggling with their bags. His Mum raised him right 🩷

Elmer, I actually didn’t assume the yardstick was literal. But you have frequently, includng now, mentioned how you are considerably broad. I think it’s objective, not insulting, to say that your size would be an imposition in coach to some degree, whether crossing the boundary into your neighbor’s space or pinching into the aisle. Because the cabin isn’t made for you. Just like the overhead height isn’t designed for s short person. Again, this is not an insult. The best that we can do for each other is to be a little bit accommodating towards each other. For most of us physically able, being asked to help lift a bag is simply not an imposition. As long as you’re not telling me not to help, it really doesn’t matter to me what you do on your flights.

Not that it’s relevant to chisue’s post, but the last time we flew it was a fairly short flight (2 1/2 hours) to Seattle. I had a middle seat and the window seat was occupied by a very heavy man. His body was literally overflowing into close to 1/4 of my seat. I was wondering how on earth I could manage being somewhat squished in my seat. As the plane started to move he apologized for his size. It touched me and we started chatting. He told me his`story of how he was once average weight until a health issue and surgery the year before. He showed me phone pix from before the surgery. My heart just went out to him, and the flight ended up being much better than anticipated. We saw him again at the Seattle airport waiting for the same van ride to Whidbey Island. He was also on our flight home a week later but not seated next to me. Part of me wished he was.

food, I saw no insult intent and was not insulted.

It is annoying to me that airlines ignore the physical requirements of its passenger base and have "we don't care, tough croup, deal with it" attitudes about it. They could allocate some otherwise seating space to accommodate carry-ons of people with difficulty (of whatever kind) stowing their pieces. Or assign cabin attendants to help, to speed boarding and deplaning operations. But for this too, they seem to have the same attitude.

When I show up late for a flight connection because it took 25 minutes to exit the arriving flight because of too many people trying to move luggage that weighs as much as they do down a narrow aisle, I don't appreciate getting dirty looks.