These are giggle worthy today. Thanks, I needed that.

An old guy was working out in the gym when he spotted an attractive young lady. He asked a nearby trainer, "What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?" The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I would try the ATM in the lobby.

I know this one has made the rounds, but it is still funny whenever it turns up.

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.