One up man's ship is a thing with bday parties but pool parties at the hotel were about has 'out there' as things got. I would be surprised if a kid who is getting fun, goody bag and sugar would ever say LAME.

Ok let me rephrase the question. What age do they stop wanting Mickey Mouse at the parties.

My daughter has a 5 and 7 yr old. The 5 just had his 6 th birthday party on Saturday. There were 22 children , older siblings were invited and two parents came for most of the children. The swimming was free at the community pool and they had Jets pizza and cupcakes . Jets gave a big discount because they are good customers and families took home the leftovers. The other entertainment besides swimming and pool noodle wars was each child got a white tee shirt and a sack of washable color bombs to throw. They have a ball and so do the parents. It was the entertainment last year as well because everyone had so much fun. It rained for that part so no cleanup!

Gifts were food bank donations. This was Alpharetta GA very affluent area but very down to earth parents and great families. c

My experience is that things tail off when the parents get tired of putting so much effort into it.

Indoor play venues, clowns who make balloon animals, gymnastics parties, taking a smaller group (friends only) out for movie then pizza , etc, allow outsourcing the main effort.

I think it really depends on the kid. Some never stop liking parties and special events.

carol, my comment was that in my experience, birthday extravaganzas end when the parents tire of planning and hosting such parties, not when a kid does tires of them.

If you asked a kid - your choice, buddy boy or sweetie - a new bike and a quiet party with 10 or fewer friends, or a big razzamatazz with 25 people and a $50 savings bond as a gift, the choice becomes predictable. The specifics don't matter, just to illustrate. They get to an age where inducements work. Where there's a will there's a way, or so it was for us with each of our kids.

The question is, when do they START wanting Mickey Mouse (or whoever) at their birthday parties?

And there’s the thing that all kids are different. Some see the razzmatazz at some party, and want the same. Some see it and for them it has no bearing on what they want or expect.

And I don’t know this for a fact, but my local observation is that girls seem to be the ones who ”want what SHE had” or care more about what the cake and decor look like. My personal experience was, I could spend money on a cake, none of the boys noticed or cared what it looked like, if it carried the theme of the party, etc.

Thankfully the parties our grandkids had were pretty normal, both girls and boys. The boys had some at ’activity’ houses with bouncy slides, trampolines, etc and a room set aside for the birthday cake celebration after.

One DGD’s birthday was near Thanksgiving as was 2 of her good friends. She decided to celebrate hers early (close to Halloween) and asked us to host a ’spooky hayride’ at our home in the country. DH and I were more than glad to oblige. We had sack races, ring toss, horseshoes, and other old games set up. We had hot dogs and burgers and after the hayride, roasted marshmallows for s’mores. Some of these kids had never seen a ‘shooting star’ and we saw plenty. For about 3 birthday years it turned into a fun time for her friends,, some of their parents and sibs, her cousins, and even our neighbors who helped get involved in the spooky hayride. We still talk about the fun we had and I still think some, maybe all, of the parents had just as much fun as the kids.

I agree that many of the OTT parties are parent-driven and fueled by the kids wanting to do what the last one did but better, and no parent in their right mind will put on the brakes.

Meant to say, the kids were around 8-10 at this time and it was boys and girls. Then it started becoming slumber parties.

By the 9th or 10th they become more selective about who they actually want as guests and activities start to reflect their interests rather than themes. Maybe a few friends to swim and eat burgers and hotdogs or have a sleepover, that sort of thing. By age eight they are pretty much getting over the character thing and more into personal interest themes like gaming, hobbies and sports.

We were lucky in not having party envy with our kids. We never had entertainers or characters. And we put our foot down on goody bags. We had parties at home with traditional games like pass the parcel, musical chairs or treasure hunt. I made the cake and did the food until about age ten when we started to take around six close friends for pizza and/or a movie. After they became teenagers we stopped organising parties altogether. They took themselves and a few mates into town for food, films, bowling etc.

Interestingly, the kids seem to remember the cakes even now although at the time they didn't seem that excited. DS, now in his 30s, was recently describing one I made for a pirate party which was a treasure chest overflowing with gold coins. I had completely forgotten about it.

Seven. Then it is time to move one.

HOWEVER, one need not have all that to begin with. The parks near my house are filled with kid birthday parties every weekend. Streamers, balloons, music, cake, food. Parents, kids. The kids play tag and soccer. The balloons can get over the top. But that is about it. I live in NYC so whatever you can fit in a few wagons and pull from your apartment to the park is what gets included in the party. Simple is wonderful. The kids look utterly happy running around on sugar highs.

I remember a VERY long time ago, we were going home in our car, when our street was blocked by an elephant. Yes, the parents had "rented" an elephant for birthday party rides. I don't know what offends me more: that the parents did this, or that someone had this as their business.

Our parties for our girls were not in our home, because the rule was that everybody in the class was to be invited. We had some fun bowling and mini-golf parties. But the parties ended when elementary school did.

We did have Micky Mouse and Jasmine!

We did the out of house parties, gymnastics, swimmming, amusement park. We did sleep overs.

Middle school it became smaller.

If you can afford it and we could, it wasn’t over the top as everyone did it.

Closest I ever got to something like that was a close friend who did clowning came and entertained the kids with all kinds of balloon creations for my son's 5th birthday. That was back in the 80s. We did things old school and low key with home made cake, ice cream, and party games in the yard.

What about all the gift buying? I remember trying to find appropriate gifts for a LOT of our DS's friends for years running.

When DGS was in second grade, one child turned up for his party with a wad of cash. (I think it was a cultural thing.)

“…one child turned up for his party with a wad of cash.”

That does sound possibly cultural…and amazing for a second grader or older!

chloebud -- I think it was the father who thought the cash appropriate. This boy was new to the school -- possibly new to the US.

I would have loved to skip the hunt for puzzles, toys, etc. and just done cash!

As the parent of daughters, I loved buying birthday gifts for the boys. DD2 was very popular with the guys, and often, the parties were 17 boys and her. I remember one dad telling me that she could ninja with the best of them! And let's not even discuss Jake-o-mania!

@chisue this is why my DD and others of her friends now have a ” no gifts” rule. They were buying so many birthday gifts for a number of years with 2 littles and the size of their nursery school classes 15 each it was insane! Add fifteen parties each a year and its no wonder a halt was called.

At one birthday, I think he was 7, DS asked for the gifts to be for the animal shelter. Everyone loved that! They brought old blankets, lots of newspapers, some new toys and old and new leashes, food; the moms loved decluttering and the kids of course love animals. And DS got a nice ”thank you” note from the shelter after he delivered them. For a long time, part of our Sunday routine after church was to stop by the shelter and spend time with the cats, a service the shelter encouraged to keep cats socialized with people.

For awhile, the go-to gift seemed to be a gift card to iTunes or Gamestop.