I’ll start a conversation with pretty much anyone. If they’re receptive, that’s great. If not, that’s their business. 🤷‍♀️ I’ll try to bow out gracefully.

I’ve had some very enjoyable moments with complete strangers standing in a line at a grocery store.

Ha! I’d start a conversation with NO one, back into a corner and keep checking my phone to see if it’s time to make my excuses and go home

LOL, littlebug!

I’m probably your worst nightmare.

Yes, roxsol! Seems that opposites attract sometimes. 🤣

To the question posed, I think there are some people who are genuine, friendly, outgoing and fun to be with. People who know them, know that about them. Yes, they're likeable! I suspect everyone can recognize and knows individuals of the type I'm describing. In a social setting, they don't "work the room" like a life insurance salesperson looking for prospects. In a setting where they're known, people tend to approach them. I know a few like this, they lead very busy lives (socially).

I don't think that's necessarily related to the question of how much of an extrovert vs introvert one is in a social setting where few present are known. As for me, personally, I enjoy meeting new people and am perfectly comfortable doing that in a social or business setting where I know no one. Sometimes it's a gathering of my wife's friends where I don't know either them or their partners, if applicable. I wander around, say Hi and introduce myself, and usually strike up many conversations.

If I'm waiting in a line in a public place, no matter where, I'm not interested in talking to strangers. I'll apologize in advance. I don't care to hear that this happened to you the last time you were there (wherever it is) or that you're in a hurry and late for picking up your dog after its grooming session. I'll typically smile, say nothing, and then look away.

I have wondered this all my adult life. I can (and do) chat with all sorts of people in all sorts of circumstances all the time, but making the jump from friendly acquaintance to friend is the part that is most difficult and - for me - has generally been unrewarding. At least as an adult (weren't things so much simpler when we were kids?). The friends I have now have been friends for over 20 years, at least.

How do I decide whom to start a conversation with in a room of unknown people gathered for some event (business or not)? If I don't happen upon someone in the same circumstance at the same time (getting a drink at the same time, sitting next to someone at a shared table), I usually choose someone I think is about my age - because we probably share common culture history - and looks relaxed. I don't want someone to get upset if they think I'm too aggressive because I asked a question or shared a comment. If someone's in the corner on their phone, I let them be, because they've chosen not to interact with people - that's different than the person in the corner watching the room, because those people are interested in other people, even if they don't want to start a conversation.

That can lead to a pleasant time shared in a common activity, but it doesn't necessarily lead to making friends. Sadly, there's some other magic dust that is required to lead from friendly acquaintances to becoming friends.

I think the most approachable people are those with good self esteem...not narcissists who think they are the be all to end all, but people who are comfortable in their own skin and project that they have value. They also seem to be relaxed in whatever situation it is that you might encounter them. People who are uncomfortable in a social situation can appear nervous or anxious and are not appealing (to me) to approach. Nor are people who project neediness by being too loud or making a bit of a spectacle of themselves or who appear to dominate in a group.

At the gym we have groups of people my DH lifts weights with. They laugh, praise each other...really enjoy each others company. I'm usually on the treadmill or the massage beds. Scuba diving, we had a group of Canadian friends we'd meet up with.Photography...we travelled to crane festivals, balloon festivals with Charlie, Marry & their two kids for 7 years. Kids grew up, they got a divorce, Mary moved to Idaho. Friends come and go...it's always been about sharing activities together....AND enjoying the company while involved in the activity.

I think being friendly and making friends, at least for me, are two entirely different things. I will strike up a conversation with just about anyone, knowing it will be short and then moving on.

In making friends, most of mine are from many years and known through mutual scenarios, like school, work, having horses. Some of my neighbors are good friends. I think I have many friends from many different groups. I haven't needed to make a new friend in a very long time. But it's always fun to find someone I can click with easily.

More than a few of the very popular people I've known, have been that way their whole lives. And have no lack of conceit.

For sure the kind of people who are not widely popular (and who often have had limited success with long term relationships) are those who try to elevate their own feelings of inadequacy by insulting others incessantly. And, out of context.

I think there is a difference between being likable, and friendly, and having or being a friend. Having or being a friend requires trust, a willingness on all parties to allow and nurture friendship, beyond acquaintanceship.

I have thought about this as well, and it is particularly intersting as to how one goes from acquaintance to the next step and the step beyond.

I have also observed over the years and my lifetime, that for the same person, different timing makes such a difference.

I remember when I first moved to my own apartment that I'd walk around and it seemed everyone was out with friends and Iwas walking around alone. Then things clicked, and I had more people to connect with than I could imagine. I would meet normal and nice people just walking down the street.Before, I felt like I was invisible.

That's extreme, but I've seen it replay over time, even when we first relocated here (just pre Covid) and it seemed so difficult to really connect. Now it's quite different. I feel like there's something projected that people see or sense and make one approachable, likeable, all the things.

It probably helps when they see you around frequently. Like taking walks in the neighborhood. When I had a dog, I met a lot of people.

I find that meeting single people are easier than meeting couples. Couples aren't usually looking for new friends. Those relationships take more time.

In high school, I arranged to have two lockers at opposite ends of the campus. During free times, I would take things out of one to put in the other. The alternative being...me being seen, just standing there alone, doing nothing, talking to no one. Several posts speak of firm friendships of many years. Those are wonderful, and should be cherished. My current problem is that these wonderful friends can and do get old and die. I agree it's the slow move from aquaintances to friendship that is the rub. I think that I make a good friend. I'm not weird, and have a lot to offer, but people just seem busy with family and/or their already friends. I'm working on it though.

Think of how many subtle visual signals are communicated just by someone's expression and demeanor. Friendliness can be communicated without saying a thing, just by one's appearance and body language. I think of it as openness in a person's face, making eye contact, genuine friendly smiles, and an openness in one's posture as well - before they even speak.

Compare this body language:

The first image is someone obviously scowling at something. I wouldn't think anyone spends all day looking like that. Perhaps that was your intentional exaggeration to demonstrate your comment.

I think we all find things, friends and new acquaintences included, when we're not looking for them. Join groups, do activities, participate with others in whatever interests you, and be a friendly and genuine person. Try to act naturally in ways that people who you would wish to be friends with act. I've found this is how new "friends" happen by serendipity, being out and about being active doing things we do for no other reason than we like to do them.

I think part of it is related to self-centeredness. If when I'm doing a new activity, in a class, meeting new people, etc, I make the effort to be curious about and interested in the other person. If the conversation turns into a monologue from the other person, interrupting frequently, and makes the conversation all about them, I check out. I have an acquaintance today that would like to be friends but I can take her in only small doses. Shows no interest in me, monopolizes the conversation, one-ups me, etc. I told her about a performer I recently saw in concert, and she saw him too - twice. And the constant interrupting - yikes, take a breath and give it a rest. People like that are energy vampires. Showing some interest in the other person and listening - and not waiting for a turn to jump in and change the subject, can mean the difference between establishing a connection or causing the other person to want to flee.

I worked in sales. In business settings, I can strike up a conversation with anyone. But sometimes social situations make me shy. When I was single between boyfriends, I wanted to meet someone new. I made a decision that I would go to events, pick a guy who looked interesting, and force myself to start up a conversation. My opening line was to tell him that I was there by myself and decided to "pick the best looking guy in the room and talk to him." I did it twice. Both times the guy turned out to be married. And both times they told me I'd really made their day.

I saw this on fb today. About friendship: I think you need to be on fb to see this