Is it too soon to talk about holiday meals? I need help!
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I spoke too soon about ds16 bd
Comments (5)First off, don't worry if SM or her family was laughing... if they were, they laugh at bad parenting? That makes her a bad parent for thinking it is okay. As much as I dislike my SD's BM, I would never encourage or allow SD to talk to her like that, nor would I enjoy hearing it. I certainly would not have much respect for my DH if he told her to talk to her mom like that. Why is he changing venue? Is there a hearing on other issues? It seems pointless to move a case for no reason. The reason to move a case if for convenience because the old venue is too far & in your case, neither of you live there but if there are no hearings scheduled, it would be silly to waste the court's time with it. If he is planning to file for a hearing at the time he asks the court to change venue, that makes more sense. At that point, you should also file: 1: an objection to dispute the change of venue if it is going to mean you have to go further for hearings. If the current venue is more convenient for you than moving it to where he lives, say so. Otherwise you will be driving even further if something comes up in court. 2: a motion to address all issues that need to be addressed, including support. He wants to address issues... address ALL issues. I would also include mentioning that he admitted encouraging your teenage son to talk to you like he did. Teens are hard enough to deal with sometimes & don't need extra encouragement, especially from a parent, to treat the other parent poorly. The judge should hear about that. Forget what he accuses your DH of... that is probably because he is getting advice & help so he thinks you must be too. Or maybe it's a tactic to get you riled up... like telling you he's taking you to court. Maybe he wants a reaction... so give him one. React with calmness & work diligently to defend yourself in court. Do not defend yourself or your DH to him. He isn't going to listen anyway, that's why you can't a word in edgewise. Really, you can complain to the court that he talks badly about you to your son. The court will tell him not to & may even hold him in contempt... but they still cannot MAKE him stop talking badly about you. But as your son gets older, he will make his own decision. He may, unfortunately, stick with his dad against you... or he may decide to have less (or nothing) to do with his dad. Especially after he becomes a parent himself... he will understand better how wrong his father is being now....See MoreI need to talk about my adult step-daughter
Comments (5)Shakti, I have to wonder if you have ever been in a stepfamily! Rob says he has been the father figure to his stepchildren for 28 years! That's hardly "only a friend." Would you tell an adoptive parent that they were "only a friend"? It sounds like he stepped in when their biological father had done them some pretty awful physical and psychic harm--that's not "just a friend" stuff, either. Sure biology and genes are important, but the day to day raising can be almost as powerful. Rob, I am closer to your age probably than some of the other wonderful posters here, and I might be able to offer some insight? Wish I could be of more help. One thing that occurred to me reading your anguished words is that you are at the age where we start to think more about our place in the world, what we have done, life review and all that. And seeing where we are peched on a family tree is so important to us all of a sudden. Whereas the young people in our lives are intent on making their own families, making their own way in the world--it sometimes feels like they have no time for us, like we are no longer important in their lives. And it sounds like although you feel your SD strongly prefers your wife over you, it also sounds like she is "buying" the favor, making herself indispensible by providing all those practical services for SD. (Didn't mean for that to sound negative--it's the way of the world.) Is there a reason you don't go along to visit your grandkids? (I didn't say "stepgrandkids" because I know so many stepparents who would never dream of calling their SKs their "children," but for some reason are comfortable without the "step-" with the next generation. Maybe because the grandkids never knew a time without them--or maybe because grandkids already have four grandparents, why not add another one?) Here's something else I discovered as I was thinking these things through in my own life. With my SDs, I am more quick to perceive slights and insults. But when it is my own children I find myself thinking "oh they're just kids." I try to apply that test when it seems like my SDs are ignoring me or not as receptive as I would like to an activity or something--I say "what if it was my biokids" and then it doesn't hurt so much--I find myself in the "they're just kids" place. Have you talked to your stepdaughter about missing her and the grandkids? Do you and your wife ever babysit? Your relationship with your grandkids will soon grow on its own, apart from their mom....See MoreAre you inspired by KSWL, but need some holiday help? Me too.
Comments (65)those silver mantles look wonderful. I saw a thing on the rustoleum website about using their spray on silvering and I think vinegar for a diy Mercury glass look. What at about some pine cones for the niches? If the have time I may gather a few and see how they look sprayed silver to go with my white depression glass. I have a few of the putz houses. (At least 50 years old). They were my favorites as a child. I used to buy those plaster white houses to paint yourself. I have a crazy number now and should put some out too. But maybe next year since I am still working on the house...See MoreIs it too soon to talk about replacing lawn grass after the freeze?
Comments (11)Oh, man! I read that as Denton, Colorado and started feeling like I was in the Twilight Zone. St Aug should not do will in Colorado. I think roselee should be fine. The DFW area gets super cold temps almost every year, and they manage to cultivate St Aug through it all. The second snow melted today and I still have some green spots in the Floratam. I also installed some Raleigh St Aug late last year. I have not ventured back to where that stuff is. Maybe tomorrow. But it looked amazing compared to the Floratam elsewhere. Raleigh is more cold tolerant. In Bandera we had many hours at mid single digit temps, and I have some confidence that both types will come back. If you do lose some grass, we got the Raleigh at Millburger's Nursery at the corner of 1604 and Bulverde Rd (inside the loop). They sell 7 pallets of Raleigh per day to walk ins and another 7 pallets to the professionals. What that means to you, as a consumer, is that they have the freshest turf you can get. Just be sure, if you need new grass, that the location is ready NOW to put it down. Do all the prep work before you buy the grass, and put it down as soon as you get home. If you want to replace the grass with Floratam, you have to special order it. I think the price is the same, but they don't keep it in stock. Everyone's "elderly" is their own. I can't tell you how to feel, because I see people younger than I am using a cane or walker and who seem to be very elderly. But as for me, about a year ago I realized that I was starting to feel elderly with back issues and upper body weakness. I was one of those people who could not get myself up again using just my legs. I started doing some twisting exercises, deep squats, and slant push ups. The twisting fixed my back the first day - apparently I needed a chiropractic adjustment to unpinch a nerve, which I did DIY. The squats have allowed me to get up again if I fall. I do 30 squats while I brush my teeth every morning. The push ups toned up the upper body, some core, and just made it easy to hustle bags of fertilizer and flats of sod around. I do 30 of those after the squats. We also walk the dog every day at a local park. That's a full half mile!!! (Boerne has a 0.5 K "race" every year, so this is almost two of those!! The race is from one bar to another bar, ;-) ) Anyway, I'm so glad I started this minimal exercise program. I no longer worry about being elderly (70 now). I probably should worry a little, but I don't. Other than that I'm sedentary here at the computer. I do try to stand up and move every hour or less. That seems to help, ever so little, but some. Your back yard is beautiful, by the way. In general terms, what part of SA are you in? As soon as we can we're moving back to the Northwood area inside 410 west of Harry Wurzbach....See More- last yearlast modified: last year
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