A Week in Critical Cardiac Care- long bookish post
15 days ago
last modified: 15 days ago
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Cardiac Diet
Comments (7)Good to hear from you again! I'm sorry your Mom is having heart problems but pleased to read she's home & able to avoid surgery. I think Mrs. Dash may become your new best friend. On their link below are lots of recipes using their various herb/spice blends all of which, I think, are salt & MSG free. Things like lemon chicken over brown rice pilaff (made with just a touch of olive oil, if permitted?), some diced onions & carrots with a small fruit salad makes a good dinner. If Mom is used to highly salted foods it will take 3-4 weeks for her taste buds to adjust...most Americans eat diets very high in sodium & we're so accustomed to salt that we don't even realize how much we're consuming. By limiting the cheese content, Mexican food can be low-fat & still very flavorful due to the spices & chilis. How about chicken enchilladas verde with just a couple tablespoons sprinkling of low-fat mozzarella on top served with a side of refritos...oviously, don't fry them in lard. :) Lots of flavor, low-fat, low-sodium, & high fiber. Use dried bean & cook them yourself...the canned beans are loaded with sodium! I'm assuming she may have limited Omega-3 fish? If so, salmon doesn't require salt & is terrific served on top of a big salad (minus any brassica components) with a few almonds, red grapes, sliced mango, etc. Very good & flavorful meal. For a dessert...try 1/2 banana with Yoplait 'Chocolate-Raspberry' Mousse-Style yogurt over the top! Mom will never know it's not a 'real' dessert. /tricia...See MoreDysfunctional sister ~very long post,sorry
Comments (12)I appreciate all who posted...alot of wonderful thoughts and ideas. Dirtdivarocks,I do have alot to be thankful for.I try to thank God for it everyday.I know life is short and you shouldnt take anything for granted.It's funny you mentioned writing down my happy thoughts and moments in a book of some kind.I used to do that all the time! I was thinking about doing it again,and now I really think it is a good idea. Popi,always enjoy your insight.I have thought about moving to another country,LOL! I also am sure that my nephew's dad will get custody of him. Lindakimy~Why would you be in trouble? Your thoughts were valid. I can handle constructive criticism,what I cant handle is flat out negativity and rudeness (none of which you displayed!) I would be more worried about my nephew,but I know his dad is stepping up to the plate because he has had enough of my sister's behavior too. He has bought a house and gotten a lawyer and is ready to fight for him.He takes him 2 nights a week and every other weekend. (It's the weekend he isnt having his son that she always trys to get me watch him now,and I'm not cuz she can spend some time with her son!) If my situation was better,I would have offered to take her son.But honestly,it is just not something I could do. I live in a SMALL two bedroom apartment.I have my own daughter and 3 step daughters to worry about.Sure,they dont live with us,but they do visit.I have my own soon to be career to think about. I have been a stay at home mom mostly because my daughter gets sick alot. So,money has been tight with only my husband working.Now my daughter is older,and I'am less worried about daycare and can finally start concentrating on a career. I have always strived to "do the right thing"...but right now I feel I have to worry about taking care of my family's needs first.I'm not getting any younger. Thanks again,so much, for all the imput.I actually started therapy again recently.My therapist says she thinks it is a healthy choice to "distance myself" from my sister. Guess sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else....See MoreOpinions on Long term care?
Comments (12)>>(from luvstocraft) So am I understanding correctly that the Living Trust can help protect some of our assets--but just a Will will not do that? >> I'm sorry that I didn't pay more careful attention to some of these questions, and hope it's not too late to get these answers to luv since like her, we live in CA. First off, Living Wills are not legal in CA. The document needed is called the Durable Healthcare power of attorney. All forms since 2009 should include the POLST questions (Physician's Order for Life Sustaining Treatment). Anyone with a DHPoA prior to 2009 should Google and download this 1-page form, fill it out and give a signed copy to your doctor or HMO, ASAP. Second, as pointed out, you need to be careful about which type of Financial Power of Attorney you want. Be especially thoughtful about who is the successor agent should you **and** your spouse become mentally incapable. Make sure that all your financial records are filed properly and are easy to access in an emergency. Now, to wills vs trusts: A will MUST go through probate. This has certain advantages: a will is public record, meaning it's a lot harder (although not impossible) to commit fraud. If you don't have a large estate, there is nothing wrong with using a will. There are two kinds of personal trusts (well, there's many different kinds, but you generally need to have substantial assets to make use of them): Revocable and Irrevocable. In a revocable living trust (RLT), you or whoever is named trustee/co-trustee, own those assets and manage the trust. You can change the terms however and whenever you please. An Irrevocable trust is just that - once set up and funded with assets, it cannot be changed. The trustee is just a manager of the assets. It can't be canceled if you change your mind or your situation changes. You no longer own any of the assets in the trust. It is a permanent legal entity unto itself, until all assets are exhausted. Any trust must be funded; e.g., you must take legal steps to transfer assets to the trust. Just setting up a trust does not mean anything is inside the trust. Trusts do not go through probate. They are a method of passing assets to heirs without the costs of probate. OTOH, speaking as one who served as Executor of a simple estate, I can tell you that even a simple estate or trust takes hours and hours to settle. It is neither easy, nor simple, and when a person is grieving it is extremely exhausting. An Executor of a will gets paid a fee (and in CA, believe me that fee is earned) - but a Trustee NEVER gets paid unless payment, hourly or flat fee or percentage, is specified in the Trust....even though a Trustee can spend just as much personal time, if not more, than any Executor does, on settling an estate. Revocable Living Trusts will NOT save on taxes. They are a conveyance, a means of passing assets more efficiently in certain situations. They do not “protect” anything because that is not their intent. The only thing it will save is the court costs of filing for probate, and the mandated fees to Executor and Attorney from the assessed value of the estate. For example, my MIL has an RLT. Realistically, there was never any need for she and her (now deceased) husband to have one. They have only one son, had only one house, and modest financial assets. It made the transfer of assets to her as the surviving Trustee simpler, but then we had to have a lawyer draw up yet another trust, this time with her and her son (DH) as co-trustees. Had they had a good will drawn up instead, we could have continued with that and spent less half the amount of money it cost, by having her update a will instead of creating a new trust. In comparison, DH and I have a trust. We have no children, and our estate falls under whatever the federal estate tax limit is or is going to be. But because we have no children, our heirs are not directly related to us - and both heirs have siblings who by law would have just as much right to any inheritance. Therefore, we had our trust drawn up with specific language that excludes anyone not named in the trust. We also arranged for the Trustee to be paid on an hourly basis for work done for the estate, because we believe that's fair. I did a little research on the so-called "Medicaid trusts". These are apparently encouraged by certain lawyers who claim they will protect assets from being seized by Medicaid. There is a debate about this subject, and some lawyers say there is no current legal decision that fully supports any trust as being 'untouchable' by Medicaid. Whether this is true or not, I have no idea. A Medicaid trust is Irrevocable - once set up, you have lost all assets you transfer over. It is NOT excused from the Medicaid 5-yr look-back on asset transfers. If Medicaid does decide your trust is a fraud designed to hide assets from them, you would need a lawyer to file suit. And of course, no one should ever set up any trust, Revocable or Irrevocable, without the advice of a lawyer. Even using good forms, such as those available from Nolo Press/Berkeley, can produce a document that does not address all the issues your estate may face...if only because there are things you don't know which may be issues in the future, that the questions of a professional might have avoided. If you use a good estate attorney, they often charge a flat fee for drawing up the RLT, both PoAs, a pour-over will (VERY important) and even transferring the title to your home into the trust. Our attorney spent hours with MIL and with us, both together and separately, to ensure she had a clear picture of what we wanted. Then it was her job to create documents which would enable our wishes to be carried out, when we're no longer able to be there. I apologize for going OT. But these are critical issues that all too many Boomers have left undone for too long. HTH!...See MoreDon't post pics? Why or Why not? (Long, rambling, sorry!)
Comments (66)I am probably not going to be posting many pics when asking questions any more because I find that too many people are only looking at the pictures, NOT reading the text, and thus their responses are either directly contrary to something I've said in the text (for instance "get rid of XYZ" or "the color of ABC is wrong" when I've already said in the accompanying that I love XYZ so it's not going anywhere or that the color of ABC is really more toward mauve when it shows up as puce in the picture) or have nothing at all to do with what I'm asking. I find that intensely frustrating. I have almost no pictures of my current house because it's still in "whatta dump" stage. No paint (walls need a TON of work), short on furniture, dreadfully designed kitchen that's a perpetual mess because there's nowhere to put things... and forget outside pictures, a few weeks ago we ripped out almost every trace of vegetation outside (and will not be replacing it until next year, probably fall '09 to get the end-of-season sales) due to a honeysuckle invasion that I swear was growing by feet per day and was starting to attack the porch. I'll happily post pictures of my previous house because I think I did a pretty decent job with it. We're not on Google Maps but we're kinda-sorta on Google Earth - but the best you can get is a fuzzy whitish blob in the midst of a bunch of other fuzzy whitish blobs on a fuzzy grayish stripe. No closeups. Our town is clearly not a high priority as far as Google is concerned! WRT security - we live in a somewhat iffy neighborhood so I am one HECK of a lot more worried about the people a dozen houses down the street breaking in looking for meth money than I am about someone trying to track me down via the Internet (I Googlebate every so often just to see what's out there re: me) from half a dozen states away. I've been email-stalked and -harassed a bunch of times in my 18 years online because of my outspoken ;-) opinions and my ISPs have always been helpful in dealing with it. However, I've had meet-ups with a whole slew of people I've met online over the years, twice flying nearly cross-country to do so, and it's been grand fun....See More- 15 days ago
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