My words are nebulous, yes -- I think so too. Thats one of the reasons I was trying to find out what sort of words *are* useful. Heres what I am starting with: (These panoramas are distorted; the sidewalk is essentially flat.) Zone 7, Shenandoah Valley Virginia town. 70' x 40with a gentle slope from sidewalk down to house. Mature maple. Somewhat overgrown boxwood foundation planting. Short white picket fence (neighbors) on SE property line with 4 deep "little-of-this, little-of-that" perennial border on our side (which doesnt appeal to us). Mature dogwood between maple and house (enjoyed from side screened porch.)Our basement is presently nice and dry, and we want to keep it that way. I agree that the backyard is traditionally the place for seclusion in these parts. In our case the backyard seems less suitable than the front yard. Its noisier (due to an alley) and more overlooked by neighbors (due to the slope) despite mature hedges, and is dominated by what I call the LOOMING deck. The deck is often heavily shaded by the house and we only enjoy it a few months a year. The back is a great open place for the kids (almost 5 and 7) to play; they dont seem put off by the alley or the spectre of the looming deck. By contrast, the front faces a quiet dead-end street and has good south-southeast exposure. Both my husband and I work at home. When an minor remodeling is complete, my office window will face the front yard. The land slopes up slightly from the house so the yard is very visible from inside. We leave the front door open on sunny days in all seasons and let the light (and summer air) pour into the stair hall. We carry lawn chairs out there to sit in the dappled summer shade and warm winter sun. We'd like it to belong to us and not to the street. Amazon, much of the above I didnt know 19 months ago when we moved here from the New Hampshire woods. I think there were some good reasons to wait to plant. If we had done what we were inclined to do our first summer here (find a place to park the car!) we would be regretting it now. And though of course only a mature garden will fully meet my needs as you said, gottagarden, theres a reward in waiting and watching it grow. Ink, I do have a taste for woodlands. I used to live in a woodland, and now I spend an hour a day walking in woods not far from town. Thats how I get my "fix;" but here in town I feel I want something different: some formal lines, an obvious geometry, a few clipped shapes. The house seems suited to that, too. I close my eyes with the sun on my face and imagine Im on a narrow, low-walled terrace in Italy with my back to a vine-covered wall, facing an intimate enclosed garden punctuated by cypresses and great mounds of evergreen, and with just a glimpse of a distant view. I dont have the right climate or environs for that dream, but it gives you another idea of my taste. Though I like flowers, I really want the green and some hardscape and texture, scent, a beautiful artifact of some sort, and the red flittings of cardinals (the birds, I mean, not the red-hatted kind). Ive already put a lot of consideration into some things: the circulation, sitting terrace, etc. But perhaps I should put that aside for the moment and free up my mind to consider alternate possibilities. Please feel free to comment on anything.

Chelone, the cat's name is Lily, sister (in spirit) to Tiger, an orange male and the coolest cat who ever walked the face of the earth. Lily is more normal cat, Tiger thinks he is a person. He knows more people in the neighborhood than I do, and frequents most of their homes. There is also a third orange long-hair named Molly. Orange cats have the best temperaments IME. Thanks for the compliments - - it's nice to hear after all that sweat I invested! All of the materials used were found on my property except for the stone dust, which I got at a discount through a friend. I have to say right now I actually love the look of the walkway, while I think the patio is just "ok". I do prefer the irregular stones, impractical as they may be. The patio stones are a bit out of line since I was just eyeballing them and then I had friends come in to help finish who weren't as picky as me! As for Poor Martha (as she has come to be known in the neighborhood), my next step if the town historian doesn't call back and take over is to go to the Bureau of Vital Statistics (I think that's what it's called) in Hartford and search for that date of death. If there is a Martha, well, Bingo. If not, and there are one or two other people with that DOD, I can check which cemetery they were buried in and see if they have stones (and whether they are replacement stones). If there is no match that way, I might be out of luck because that means the stone was not local. In that case I would just beg the historical society or a cemetery to take it. The woman from the Connecticut Gravestone Network also said she can search ancestors.com because she has a membership. So we'll see if she comes up with anything. For now Poor Martha has been moved to the patio, where I'm sure she's doing a great job of freaking out the mailman when he walks up to my house everyday. Hopefully he has figured out that she was unearthed during the walkway reno!

To be 'at sixes and sevens' means to be all over the place, as momj says. Not said so much these days but if for eg. you are late for an appointment, the car wont start, a child says they feel too ill to go to school, your husband suddenly remembers he is bringing home a couple of work colleagues for dinner . . . then you may be/or soon will be at sixes and sevens. Spotted Dick is a very traditional English pudding (the word 'dessert' is usually reserved for rather fancy cold dishes). These hot, filling puddings used to be the mainstay of school meals, though these days, with all this calorie control, sedentary life-style etc, plus the fact that they take some time to prepare plus a couple of hours to 'steam' they are much less popular. Made with a suet-crust pastry with a scattering of raisins, currants (hence the 'spotted' appearance) rolled into a wide sausages shape and cooked in a steamer in a 'pudding cloth'. Served with lots of custard they are very yummy. Didn't know they sold them in cans (which we call 'tins'). Don't you have any pudding-type 'desserts' in the US? Perhaps those of you with German/Dutch/Polish ancestry have similar recipes. Here is a link that might be useful: Make your own Spotted Dick

Never thought of the narcissist angle, but it does make sense. When you think how welcoming everyone over here was, with as far as one can tell little bother about POC, in fact it appeared like a breath of fresh air. Grandmother-in-law took her under her wing (perhaps remembering how D had been treated in the early days with little apparent concern for her welfare). Lots of smiling, glad-handing, beautiful wedding etc. How/why did it all go wrong SO quickly? At the moment yet another legal dispute in underway between the Home Office and the couple concerning their security when/if they visit these shores. They feel their family will not be safe as they are no longer entitled to round the clock police protection, and "Sorry Sir but you cannot hire the Metropolitan Police by the hour/day. That isn't their job." BTW Don't forget that Daddy has already given you millions of £££'s. You are not on the breadline. A short afternoon tea visit to Windsor has given him the realisation that he must 'protect' HM and make sure the 'right people' are around her; whatever that means.