Dedtired, LOL, it took me about 5 minutes to get that one!

Be Happy September 3 · When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison. 2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it. 3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles. 5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late. 6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago. 7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. 8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers. 10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?" 11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing. 12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever. 13. I run like the winded. 14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on. 15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?" 16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery? 17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited. 🤣🤣🤣

If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I'm self-employed; we're having a staff meeting.

I have no idea what arcy's post means or why it's here, but it did remind me of a joke my Mom used to tell all the time. A daughter tells her mother that they can't seem to get pregnant. Mom advises, "Just take the longest thing he has and stick it in the hairiest thing you have." Months later, daughter complains to her Mom that it doesn't seem to be working. Mom asks if she's doing as she was told. Daughter replies, "Yes. We've been sleeping with his nose in my armpit for months!"