Troublesome... on education
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pruning shrubs/perennials
Comments (4)I've got dial-up, too. Maybe I've got a newer, faster computer... but you've got the upcoming winter to study up on pruning techniques. And you'll have most of your weekend free because it's a little late in the season to start thinking about pruning the shrubs on your list - they don't have the time to harden off before cold weather sets in and you're quite apt to suffer more than normal dieback or the removal of next year's blooming growth. ninebark: The best time to prune is after it blooms, from mid-June to mid-August. And they can take a hard pruning. yews: yews can be pruned twice a season, once after each growth spurt usually late spring and again mid-summer. junipers: prune in March or April when the soft new growth appears. lilacs: immediately after flowering being careful not to go too far because next spring's flowering buds are produced in June and July, so avoid removing them ... If you don't care about sacrificing blooms, cut it back to whatever you want. If you want the blooms, best to simply deadhead the spent flower spikes and not go down beyond a couple of inches below the spent stalk. Holly - you can pretty well LIGHTLY prune holly any time of the year; okay to prune when they're dormant in the winter. Liriope: cut down to the ground in the SPRING before new growth emerges. Don't know about perennial geraniums. Knockout roses, I suspect like other rose types, should pretty much be left alone aside from doing any winter protection you might do and taking out only any dead or deceased canes. Any winter dieback could be pruned out in the SPRING....See MoreFireproofing A New Home Adds Protection & Value
Comments (10)Standard drywall provides excellent fire protection for the interior surfaces of a home. When exposed to a fire, water vapor is released which has the same cooling effect as intumescent paint. I can't imagine what material would benefit from a fire resistive or intumescent coating in a home unless it was exposed structural steel which is pretty rare in a home. If you really want to protect people and property an active method like quick-response residential sprinklers is far more effective and practical than passive coatings. No matter how many things you make fire resistant there will always be plenty of fuel for a fire in a home. The purpose of passive fire protection is to delay the spread of fire so the fire service can control it when they arrive. All passive protection will fail eventually and no one is going to paint their grandmother's mahogany table. It must be painful to have your dream of being a fire protection consultant dashed but here's a photo to cheer you up. This post was edited by Renovator8 on Thu, Jun 26, 14 at 17:16...See MoreParental alienation likely to happen
Comments (8)Rather than acknowledge her faults and say sorry for the pain she's caused me, she'd rather make grand gestures even though I've made it clear they're unwelcome many times. You also say She says she's sorry but cannot undo the past., Her way of 'making up' for her faults is by being extra nice and going above and beyond, and Nothing she can say or do will ever take that pain away. Your mother is apologizing and trying to make amends in the best way she knows how. She is correct, she cannot change the past. Either you accept her apology and continue the relationship or you reject it and cut her off. But please recognize that she is trying, probably in the best way she knows how. I really resonate with something you said. I was trouble/difficult to her but what she failed to see was that other parents were dealing with far worse. Kids in and out of prison, teenage pregnancies, drugs etc I NEVER did any of those things or gave that sort of trouble. Because I often felt that way as a teenager with my mom. However, please before you cut off contact with your mom, remember that sword cuts both ways. Yes, there were other parents dealing with far worse, you are exactly right. But there are other teens/kids dealing with far worse parents than what you had, probably. Parents in and out of prison, parents pimping their kids out, parents who are alcoholics or drug addicts, etc. Think about the good things your mom did (if she did, in fact, do some good things). Did she sacrifice to keep a roof over her kids' heads? Did she read books to you or help you do your homework? If you are a good person, a successful person, then maybe some of that comes from something your mom helped instill in you? Anyway, if you are going to pull out the "I was bad but other kids were worse", then you need to also pull out the "Mom was bad but other moms were worse", too. I have a tremendous amount of sympathy for you, and this is from the heart. I've been on somewhat both sides of the issue. My mom went through a lot of stress when I was a teen and it showed in her behavior. However, I should say that she never called me names or put me down. I always knew she loved me and wanted my best. But she hurt me in a lot of ways she didn't understand then and probably still doesn't understand. And I, also, as a mother went through a time of tremendous stress. My husband was badly hurt when my children were teens, and I know the stress showed in my behavior. I always, always did the very best I could for my children, and I should say that I never, ever called my daughter names or belittled her. But I know living in that stress was hard for my kids. I have apologized to my daughter that she did not get my best as a mother the way her older brother did. Not because I didn't want to give it, but because I was giving everything I had to help my husband recover. So, like your mom, I have hurt my daughter. I know your situation and my daughter's situation is different. My daughter (age 21) told me that she knows she has always been loved, that she knows I always did my very best, and that she had a very happy childhood. So I am giving advice from a different background/place than you're in. Try to keep in mind that many people become better people as they get older and wiser. My mom is much wiser now and would never make some of the same decisions now that she made when I was a teen. By the same token, there are things I would handle better now if I could relive my life. But we don't get do-overs. If you think your mom has changed, then you might be throwing away what could be a good relationship in the future. If she hasn't changed, then it might be time to get out of a toxic relationship. Also, one of the things that has happened in my own life is that I'm better at setting boundaries now than I was as a teenager. You have more emotional tools at your disposal now than you did growing up. There are so many more things you can do now. For example, you can limit your time with your mother. You can point out things she says or does that hurt you that she may not realize. You were not in a position of power when you were a kid, but you are in a position of power now. My daughter and I used to butt heads a lot when she was in high school. One of the things I did was to declare her favorite fast food restaurant a "safe place". At least once a week I took her to lunch there and the rule was that only positive things could come out of my mouth there. That was not the time for me to ask her how her grades were or tell her that no, I wouldn't buy those super-short shorts. She got to talk about whatever she wanted to talk about and I didn't give her advice, try to fix her problem or tell her anything negative. What I am saying is that you are an adult now. You are obviously an intelligent, capable woman if you have a medical degree. You may be more capable of fixing this problem than your mom is. If you want to keep/repair this relationship, then think out of the box. There are things you can do and tools you can use. If you want a relationship with your mom, you may have to take the lead and show her how to treat you and organize the steps to healing. You cannot change other people, only yourself. Instead of thinking about all the things your mom should do differently, think about all the things you can do differently. There are many ways you can set the tone of the relationship, if you choose to. I am NOT saying "smack your hand, you do things wrong, too". I am saying that you have power you didn't have as a child. You can choose when/where you and your mom meet. You can choose how much time you spend with her. You can refuse to talk about topics that hurt you. But if you think your mom is incapable of changing, if she is still toxic, if you don't want the relationship, then only you can decide if what you want is to let go completely. Whatever you decide, I hope it goes well for you. Families are wonderful, but they can hurt a lot, too....See MoreRoof Aesthetics
Comments (3)Ouch Worthy! Your're kinda brutal. My home is not awaiting demolition I assure you. Sorry to hear you are in an area that suffered in the housing bust. I am actually in a lovely little community, no rentals, no empty homes, no foreclosures. I bought it and I'm updating it step by step. there's no landscaping because the previous (and only) owner became ill during the past several years and had the shrubs removed. There are actually 3 large pines you can't see in the pic. Anyhow, landscaping is on the list, but more immediate elements needed addressing - like the roof! the framing is in good shape - it's the sheathing that's an issue and will be replaced during the re-roofing. I guess I need to contact a GC or hopefully one of the roofing contractors I have lined up can provide some potential ideas/ sketches of what we can do with the area over the porch. thanks for your input....See More- last year
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Annie DeighnaughOriginal Author