Rotisserie? I am yearning? Or looking for a way to waste more time!?
2 years ago
last modified: 2 years ago
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Am I cursed? God's way of telling me to quit gardening?
Comments (10)emcd124 - God, so far, has only weighed in on turf (sorry if you have already seen this!): God & Lawn Care: GOD: (To Saint Francis) Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles. St. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass. GOD: Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there? ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn. GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy. ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week. GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay? ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags. GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it? ST. FRANCIS: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away. GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away? ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir. GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work. ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it. GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life. ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away. GOD: No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose? ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves. GOD: And where do they get this mulch? ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch. GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight? ST. CATHERINE: 'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about.... GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis....See MoreUpholstery project or waste of time?
Comments (23)Pbrisjar, I found them around and about on the web. Can't recall on most of them, except the two union jack chairs are British, and the four above the purple one you like were done by a young lady who is an upholstery artist in France. I wish I had book marked her page but I didn't. Riff3, I'm so glad you saw the pics. I think they are cool in that those chairs are a bit of the unexpected. Personally, I would deffinitely do something other than the brown it is with the wood and cane on that chair. Give it a bit of pizzaz. The upholstery job on your chair is rather simple. You don't have to diamond tuft the back and the buttons on the seat look stupid and should be omitted IMO. Yes on the library books. But mainly, you just take it apart, use the old fabric as a pattern to cut out the new, and put it back together the same way it was done before. It's not difficult and it sure is rewarding. It may be a little time consuming but I think not bad for that chair. As for the wood, you can simply spray paint it in your garage (car out, plastic down) in this cold weather (if it's cold where you are). Two or three light coats. For the fabric, take a look at your local fabric stores and you'll be amazed what you'll find. Promise us a picture of it when you're done, please!...See MoreDid I waste my time and $$
Comments (24)"FYI to any beginner sewing peeps DO NOT PICK ZIGZAG FABRIC!!! EVER!! " good tip - along with no fabric with plaid, stripes or nap! you could just do a quick cover - think of it like a fitted sheet or a pillow sham. You could use elastic or Velcro. I did that in my first apt. The 'sofa' was a wrought iron patio sofa with a creepy dirty cushion. I used a washable fabric - and elastic (fitted sheet style). Easy off to wash it and put back on. you could use what's there for 12/1 - 12/26 then use whatever you decide to redo it with. Next Dec - easy off again!...See MoreWasting an Airline's Time -- My Rant
Comments (11)Poor Snidely, living west coast and flying to any island in Hawaii nonstop in only five hours! LOL We have at least a 14 hour travel day from Chicago. It's worth the hassle to have the long leg (nine hours) in first on a 767 -- especially if I can lie nearly flat and be able to sleep on the redeye returns. I'm OK in a coach seat for about three hours before I start sighing. Fran -- There's only 'coach' and 'first' on our flights Chicago-Maui, but the 'first' is more like what's called 'business' on transatlantic flights. I see that our fake return has us on an old MD80 Chicago-Dallas, but on a B321 on the return. That aircraft seems to have three classes, and we will be in 'business' as far as I can tell (pairs of slightly canted seats along the aisle). The 'first' cabin has single seats along the central aisle. Coach is three and three facing forward. Rob -- No, I didn't hear the pitch for flying US Airways, but the very first message asks if I want to hear all about the merger. (Not.) Your boss probably has a gazillion miles, and they want to wipe them off their books. When I select a coach flight online I do get prompted to "Upgrade to First for only..." Then I see I can pay twice the price of coach if I want to buy First. (Not.) We are retired Seniors whose miles come from CC purchases and miles flown once a year Chicago-Maui (8K roundtrip). At our stage in life we aren't buying (charging) a lot of things, but we've managed to keep enough miles in the kitty to use them for upgrades on our annual winter trip. It's only become a struggle to find the upgrades in recent years. (We aren't profitable or important to the airline -- not frequent flyers.) I attribute the problem to there being tons of newly retiring Boomers -- more competition for the upgrades and some willing to buy first outright. Thanks to you all for letting me vent! Remind me that you've already heard it all if I go nuts trying to get our returns set for March 2016 -- when the AA calendar opens....See More- 2 years agopetalique thanked dcarch7 d c f l a s h 7 @ y a h o o . c o m
- 2 years agolast modified: 2 years ago
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