I don't think you are whining either, and the longer you have been in one place, the more attached you can become to it. I used to get very attached to places and then felt homesick or loss when I moved or left, and I had an extremely difficult time when I moved from San Fransico to Austin, even though I had the excitement of going back to university. It took me two years to adjust, and I never got over the culture shock, even though I grew up in Texas. I made quite a few trips back to S.F. to visit, but it was never the same. The one thing constant in my life is my parents' house, but at this point in my life, I would not mind if they moved. I think downsizing is particularly difficult, and even more so if you have strong sentimental attachments. Ann should be a good help to you, since she has moved even more times than I have, I think. I'm sure you can talk with her about your feelings, and I do think it is best to talk it out with someone outside of your family. I do recommend also that you take videos of your gardens before you leave so that you can at least visit them that way after you have left. I love taking pictures of my gardens and looking at them later. You may want to document your house with video for other reasons as well. Lars

This is my first post on the forum. My wife spends a lot of time talking about washing machines here. I don't want to start a fight but do want to offer a different side to this. I could be considered absent-minded as well. I try to keep my calendar updated (the old saying "tell me and I'll forget" really applies for me). I normally have a lot going on in my head(hey...that hamster wheel may be rusty, but it still turns). If I am without my calendar, I would easily agree to something that happens on a scheduled date. I believe most guys have a one track mind (no...it is not just about sex either). If I am thinking about something...that is all that is on my mind. If my wife throws something at me while I am thinking about something else, it is tough for me to remember. I have to stop what I am doing and refocus. Come to think of it, that may be one of the reasons guys think women are all over the place in conversations. Women are much better at keeping about 20 things on their mind at one time. If a guys is on a mission, you have to refocus him. If you shift his focus, the last thing on his mind is pushed way back into cold storage. It is not that I don't care, I can focus on one thing. I was also taught to make a decision and follow through with it. I try to involve my wife in decisions. It seems like she can spend hours picking out a jar of mustard. I feel like I have a goal and must accomplish it quickly to move on to the next task. I don't try to make my wife angry. I do my best to make everyone happy. I know that is impossible but still try. She would agree that she has to be a witch to get me to do what she wants. I will let you know...it does not work. She does get her way but it builds resentment. I don't like being told what to do. My impression is many (not everyone one) of the guys you are talking about try to be nice guys. They are trying to help others and do good. I was once taught to use "I" messages. I feel ______________ when you______________ because____________. Telling a guy "I feel neglected when you spend so much time with everyone else because I would like to spend that time with you like we had already planned." A lot of the women I know try to sugar coat it and use some secret code. I don't always get those subtle hints. If the message is simple and to the point, I get it right off the bat. I hope I did not make everyone angry in here. I always appreciate a friendly reminder about a future event...and often. I would rather be told 20 times ahead of time than yelled at once for forgetting. I NEVER intentionally do things to get my wife angry. Most guys will pick (it is a childish thing...I know) but don't want a wife angry at them. That is never fun. Oh...one more thing. My mother once told me a story of an old man. The guy said the worst day of his life was the day a pregnant woman got up to give him her seat. We like to feel important...and we like to feel like we can make the entire world a better place. I feels great when someone makes us feel important..attractive...or like a hero. When a women "flirts" with me, it does feel good even if I would never act on it. I like to feel important and desirable even if it is just an illusion.

I am a stepmom to a beautiful 7 year old little girl and have been since she was 4 years old. I can literally count on my ten fingers the amount of times her biological mom has made visits since I have known her (more like on one hand). She moved out of state with her when she was four and kept her from my husband for almost a year until he took her to court about three times u tip he finally won sole custody of her and her was granted child support from bio mom. He was also to drive half way from New Mexico to Dallas Texas to have our little girl do OVER NIGHT visits once a month in Texas and two week visits over summer break. Like I said bio mom would constantly cancel visits saying she could not afford it even though we received absolutely no child support checks and when she did make visits she would often request for us to pick up the child early because she had plans with her boyfriend or she would state the child was out of control and she could not handle her. The last visit she had with my step daughter she kept her for a month and it was only supposed to be a two week visit. Also during that time my step daughter was sexually assaulted by step father and we took them to court and the mother called the child a liar and automatically took step fathers side. My husband and I have put her I counseling, pressed charges and done all that we can as loving parents. Charges were dropped due to lack of evidence and now mother is fighting to move child to Texas with her and husband (what a joke right). Keep in mind no child support has been paid and mother has not attempted contact in about a year and 5 months and before that would very rarely make phone calls. She was granted supervised visits which my daughter refuses to have and if she's forced she does not engage in contact AT ALL. She is terrified of these people but the system demands visits. Last time in court bio mom failed to appear because she put her husband as priority and said she could not make it and all visits were suspended. My step daughter is traumatized and terrified of these people. I wish she had a good bio mom but she doesn't and I have been the one to take This place without the official title. Is it hard? Heck yes you do all the work without the official title and have people constantly belittling you as just the "stepmom" but the title is earned not only because you give birth to a child it goes far beyond that. These children have real needs and it takes true responsibility to raise a child and meet their need and give them the love they deserve. I have experienced the feeling of not being recognized for all that I do as a step mom who has really taken on 100% responsibility but that's what being selfless is its doing these thing without expecting recognition from humans. When I married my husband I took on the responsibility of being a mommy whether full time or once a week. I love it and since we have had trouble having babies of our own I have truly been blessed with the opportunity to be a mommy before giving birth. God placed is in each others life and I cherish every moment. To all the step moms out there I know the feelings that go along with being a step parent but it's a huge role and God sees even when others don't. Keep being good mom mad and you shall be blessed. It's not the child's fault they deserve nothing but the best!!!

I made my home made sausage dressing yesterday. I stirred it with my favorite silicon spatula. I was about to put the pan of dressing in the oven when I glanced down and noticed half of my silicon spatula was missing. My friend and I spent a half an hour digging through the pan of dressing finding the little pieces of spatula and trying to piece them together on the main part to make sure we got them all. Sigh. Good thing the spatula was teal blue which made finding the pieces a little easier.