I just want to put this out there - age shouldnt stifle people’s desires to take out a mortgage or remodel. (I get not wanting to remodel though because it’s a hassle!) My parents are in their 70’s. They literally work everyday, weekends incluuded. My father is a trial lawyer and works 70-80 hours a week They don’t work because they have to, but because they are very driven and enjoy it. They are designing a new home to build. They are also remodeling a high end apartment building and their businesses are in a constant state of renovation. I don’t hold it against anyone holding a mortgage at 65 or older, especially when interest rates were low. In fact, if you read the wsj, there are many articles advising retirees not to be in a rush to pay off those low interest loans. I feel that if a 65 year old wants to take a mortgage out to buy a new house to live a better life, then they should, and they shouldn't be embarrassed about it.

@rockybird - there are lots of financial advisors that will tell you not to pay off a mortgage because you can get a better return on your money elsewhere. Myself - I prefer the no risk return of a paid off mortgage.

The only compromise I end up making on every house is spending way more than I planned to get what I want, LOL.

I would absolutely not be willing to compromise on view or location. We lived in a high-traffic area in a neighborhood I didn't like for like 16 months, it was intended to be a temporary home. It was miserable, we didn't want to go anywhere. You cannot change these things without selling the house and they have such a profound impact on quality of life.

I would buy in the perfect location and remodel. That's what I'm (still) in the process of trying to do but my entire purchase has turned into a freaking nightmare and we are still waiting to close so perhaps don't listen to me, LOL.

@beaglesdoitbetter, so sorry that your current house buying process is a nightmare. I know you were looking forward to the renovations. I hope your issues are resolved soon and you can close escrow.

We built but our nonnegotiables were location/neighborhood. We wanted a walkable, bikeable area close to recreation, restaurants, shopping etc. To get that we had to compromise on lot size, but as a tradeoff we have wonderful dedicated green space out back and a trail system we don’t have to maintain. During the design and building stages there were many minor compromises, but nothing I regret. In previous houses, we made more compromises on layout, closet sizes etc, but there was always a certain something about each house that outweighed the compromises for us. It really is a ’you know it when you see it‘ type of thing.

I am baffled by some of the broad statements made about retirees and carrying mortgage debt into retirement.

From Yahoo Finance:

A recent survey conducted by Clever found that, on average, retirees have just $170,726 saved for retirement

The survey found that about 37% of retirees say they have no retirement savings, up from 30% in 2022, and only about 12% have at least the recommended $555,000 in savings.

The average monthly Social Security payment is just $1,692, which likely is not enough for most retirees to cover their expenses.

Nearly Three-Quarters of Retired Americans Have Non-Mortgage Debt.

Because so many retirees have little to no savings, it’s not too surprising that the majority are carrying debt. The most common types of debt held by retirees are credit card debt (49%), mortgages (24%), car payments (20%) and medical bills (18%).

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/much-retirees-actually-savings-hint-160009167.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAANUPasxf9eCexExCyzKd14knTEpA8C32eX81wuyaiaZqn9KU1wwhclkl51tE5zxTQCJE7M9hC8R3kAh6hT8-_xVYcCnh8rME7W_1XfuxbnC0Bw4d8ZE0cfsUowpdevIzx4-EMCgBtFSod7pVKRYeiJfENgx2Lr9PRfpY6r-uITT5#:~:text=Nearly%202%20in%205%20Retirees,the%20recommended%20%24555%2C000%20in%20savings.

Looking at the numbers above and averaging how much you need to be prepared to spend for end of life/long term care?

If you are 65 today you have a 70% chance of needing long term care.

The average amount of time women spend in LTC is 3.7 years and men is 2.2 years,

The national average cost of assisted living is $4,300 per month, and for nursing care, it’s $7,756 a month for a semi-private room and $8,821 for a private room.

If you think about a couple living a total of 5.9 years needing assistance or full nursing care at an average of $6000 per month it adds up to $425k.

@ rockybird - Some people have better genes than others. My husbands dad lived to 103 and his mom was 98 when she passed. My dad died at age 70, my mom died at age 80 and my sister is in hospice and is 74. I am 62, had cancer at age 55 and a major heart attack at age 57. I am counting down the months till I can get Medicare and will be able to retire. I have many days where I am exhausted after working 8-10 hours a day. Do you really think I should be planning on working well into my 70s? Do you think I should plan on building a new home at age 70? I most likely will be dead by 75, maybe younger since my dad also had his first heart attack at age 57 and died at age 70.

@Jennifer Hogan Why would you think I’m suggesting you work into your 70’s? I’m saying that if a retiree has a mortgage he/she should not be ashamed. Everyone lives their lives differently under different circumstances.

Which time? The first home we bought what we could afford! We dreamed of rennovation making it work. It was a great lot but decided in the end to get out of the big city. The second home wasn't what we dreamed of but it was sooo much easier to buy it than begin the build we had been kicking around. Too much goes wrong when building, it takes a lot of persistence and assertiveness through the entire process. It was more than I felt up for. This home--20+ in is not the lake home we left the suburbs for but the three acres gives us privacy we enjoy. Nothing dreamy about the kitchen but it's served us well, and as we discussed on another thread the expense to make it so just was not worth it to us. Like so many things in life and marriage it's really not about the surroundings as much as the life lived in them.

We've bought and sold 2 homes, and are in our 3rd home now. I always wanted to find a good resale, you know, where everything had been maintained and redone in my taste. Right, that never happened so the first home we bought was a new model home and the second home we had built for us.

This current one was "relocating and downsizing". We looked for close to 2 years, and really never found the pefect one. We had put offers on 2 ( longer story) but after inspections, decided to walk away. We had listed our house, thinking the first one we offered on was going to work out. The house sold very quickly and we scrambled to find another. Then found the 2nd, and that fell through so here we are , in the 3rd home.

They were all in different towns, but same general area. I did not love my house, as it was VERY dated but was well maintained. IT's a townhouse in a very strict HOA (which is basically good, as it is a beautifully kept up development with both single family and town homes, but also can be obnoxious for someone who has never had an HOA)....... The area is so much better than what I could have hoped for. I absolutely love it.

The house itself- slowly ( very slowly) I have been redoing and there is truth to the notion that if you redo it, you will really like it so much more than living with what's there. I replaced flooring on the first floor, remodeled a kitchen and powder room, and will now be doing our master bathroom.

My only "regret" is that I had not acted sooner to remodel.

It's so hard to know, even for someone who researches a lot, how it will actually play out.

I've been more and more reminded that none of us know what tomorrow has in store so I want to enjoy while I can.

I know someone in their 80s building a waterfront home; good for them!

Context is important here. In the context of why 3katz might not want to renovate Pal mentioned many people can't afford to do everything that needs to be done and I know people who can't even afford furniture, other than the basics, for years after they buy a house, adding that some are as fully mortgaged at 65 as they were at 30.

To which I said "Yikes." The question of how appropriate it is to have a mortgage as a sr. citizen is different than the scenario Pal paints and also different from example of working senior having a mortgage. I think most of us can agree that a retired person who spends so heavily on a home that they cannot afford any renovations or furniture and are fully mortgaged, is not being prudent financially.

If that's controversial to you, discuss it amongst yourselves but I still say "yikes."

Now, an aside on the financial advisor advice some promulgate about taking out a mortgage even if one has the cash to pay it off because you can get a better return elsewhere. This is true, if indeed that is what you are doing. A lot of people fail to do that second step. They take out a mortgage because it is "inexpensive" but they don't invest, they spend.

Moreover, the arbitrage only works if you take risk. Today's mortgage rate is ~7.5%. So if you take out a mortgage and then invest, essentially whatever you invest in needs to earn more than 7.5%. In order to earn more that 7.5% you have to take risk. The risk free rate today is ~5%, ie for Treasury bonds. You could earn ~9.25% in high yield bonds, that would provide some arb. But it is also very risky. As a senior citizen, one should not be investing heavily (if at all) in high risk instruments because your investment horizon is too short to take the risk.

So, the general advice that everyone should carry a mortgage because they can invest that money more attractively, is 1)often not true in practice and 2)requires the borrower to take significant investment risk, which may or may not be wise and is ill-advised for older retirees.

PS Obviously, if one already has a low rate mortgage from a previous interest rate environment the numbers are different. But I am addressing the generic, long-standing advice about why you should have a mortgage even if you don't "need" one, which is a different question.

We've had 4 homes in the 50 years we've been married - a starter, our family home, a down-sized home plus our vacation place. All of our homes had the same criteria: location, view and livability - and there were compromises along the way.

Our first was a starter home and we knew we'd probably only be there until DH finished his program and we had an idea where he'd be working. He had to drive into Philly so we bought a home under construction on a brand new street on a cul-de-sac which was perfect since we were starting our family. We had a 3/4 acre wooded lot with green acres behind us. It was a bi-level (or raised ranch) which is my least favorite house but it offered a lot of space at a reasonable cost.

After 5 years and pregnant with our third we bought our family home, a 2 story colonial in a great community and stayed there for nearly 40 years. The location was in a fantastic school district with a reasonable commute for DH. Our 'view' this time was a huge, beautifully landscaped lot offering privacy and the ability to add a porch, pool and ultimately a 1000 sq ft 2-story addition.

We downsized 6 years ago and even though this is in an over 55 community we managed to get the location we wanted - an unusually private lot in the rear with woods and a stream behind the house. It does have a second floor with a bedroom, bath and study for guests or even a live-in aide if that becomes necessary. The first floor has 2 bedrooms, 2 baths, LR, DR, K and family room. And we're still within 20 minutes of two kids.

This house was only 15 years old when we bought it but it had not been maintained by the previous owner which actually was a benefit to us. We negotiated a good price, gutted the kitchen, 3 bathrooms, and removed 2 partial walls and completely redecorated.

For our vacation place we bought 135 acres of woods in upstate PA nearly 30 years ago and built a 2 story home with the primary living on the first floor. After living in rented apartments and a townhouse for the first 5 years of our marriage we both knew that we never wanted to share common walls again so for us 'view' is somewhat interchangeable with 'privacy and nature'. We've always wanted to live in the woods where we can relax and enjoy the surrounding nature and somehow we've managed to pull that off.

We don't mind remodeling at all.

Maire

@ rockybird - your opinion about mortgages was based on your parents

"My parents are in their 70’s. They literally work everyday, weekends incluuded. My father is a trial lawyer and works 70-80 hours a week They don’t work because they have to, but because they are very driven and enjoy it."

You go on to tell your parents experience and then state "I feel that if a 65 year old wants to take a mortgage out to buy a new house to live a better life, then they should, and they shouldn't be embarrassed about it."

Most of the elderly I know don't feel embarrassed about having a mortgage - they feel embarrassed to ask for help when they can't afford their medications or because they have to go to the food bank because they can't afford groceries. They are torn apart because they planned on leaving a nest egg for their kids and won't be able to do that.

1 in 14 people over the age of 60 are food insecure. (Defined as a lack of consistent access to enough food for every person in a household to live an active, healthy life.)

I get it - I was raised with privilege and we tend to see the world we live in.

As an adult I chose to work in areas where I was helping those who could not help themselves. It started in the humane industry, helping animals, but progressed through so many levels of human challenges from those who were terminally ill (during the aids epidemic), mentally ill, disabled, homeless and for the past 15 years I have devoted my life to helping ensure that Medicare recipients have adequate access to medical care.

As the years went on I found that more and more of those people needing assistance were once economically secure. They had no real financial worries, but life circumstances and the ever widening gap between the rich and the poor has sucked them into a world of poverty that they didn't see coming.

The majority are not financially secure enough to go into retirement carrying a mortgage and not putting themselves at risk of hunger or homelessness.

Every person's financial situation is different, of course. But the older notions of retirement and post retirement life are changing rapidly, and I think the people entering this phase of life are those who have been used to being even bigger consumers than any generation before.

It used to be you retired at 65 and you lived maybe another ten years at most. A significant number of my parents' friends are living to be in their 90s or close to 100. I had a great aunt, a rather early example of a person who lived to be over 100 who was retired as long as she was employed.

As the children of my parent's generation are reaching retirement, I think this is the group that is used to having and spending and borrowing more than previous generations, I really wonder how some of this is going to play out. I work for someone who took over his father's business. His father retired exactly at 65 at the request of his wife. She is about ten years younger. It was a very successful business, but they continued to live as if they were not retired, buying houses, owning more than one house at a time, keeping large expensive cars. They ran out of money. They sold all their houses, bought a small condo, and ran through most of that. The father is 90, basically other than a small income, their kids have to take care of them. And I feel like my employer is going to end up doing the same thing, but I am not sure his own kids are going to necessarily be in the position to do the same thing. And I know a number of other people who have had pretty successful careers who now live in very reduced circumstances, qualifying for low income senior housing, or even, at retirement, moving back in with a very elderly parent.

I am not saying that anyone here is making unwise financial decisions or is in these particular situations at all, but I think there is a trend where people are retiring on the young side, not saving enough, spending too much in retirement, and living "too long".

Many lenders in other countries have age requirements that prohibit older people from taking out mortgages, or restrict the length of the loan based on age. In the UK, for example, lenders have their own age requirements that vary quite a bit. Some lenders won’t accept an application from people older than 55. Others will not offer their standard 25 year mortgage to older people, but will offer loans for 10 or 15 years. In the US the fair credit act means all borrowers are evaluated on the same criteria that do not include age. And older people in the US are holding onto mortgages longer than they used to:

According to data from the Survey of Consumer Finances, in 1992 only 18 percent of owners ages 65 or older still were paying off their home mortgage, but by 2016, this share had more than doubled to 41 percent. And the amount of debt held had increased two-and-a-half fold, from $28,500 to $72,000 (in constant 2016 dollars), according to custom author tabulations.*

* from an interesting article from the American Society on Aging https://generations.asaging.org/homeownership-older-adults-stability-stress

Well, after fifty years, I am still in my starter home. Getting my ex husband to do anything and make a decision was nearly impossible.

My kids were little and I wanted a young family neighborhood in a good school district, which is what we got. The only way I got my ex to buy the house was because it has a detached garage for all his junk.

The house was too small and there’s no backyard but there is a nice wide side yard, enough for me to garden. The kids in the neighborhood all played in the street or in the woods behind the development. Its not a through street so there is very little traffic.

I figured we’d be here five or six years then move to something more spacious and private. Well, ha ha to that!. The kids LOVED living here and any mention of of moving got howls of protest from everyone but me.

So I got the two most important things, family neighborhood and good schools. I gave up a lot of other things I would love to have had. Today Id be looking for other things.

I have heard people claim that is it smart to take out or continue to carry a mortgage because you then free up money for investment.

The first place people go wrong with that advice is that they don't pay off the mortgage but they don't invest, either. Oops.

But even if they did invest it, what do they invest in? Essentially (and I am oversimplifying because of AMT, taxable vs tax free investment etc.), you need to earn more on your investment than you pay on your mortgage. Say you take out a mortgage today, at ~7.5%. If you invest it in Treasury bonds, even 30 year, you get ~5%. So you could be paying more interest than you receive from your investment.

You could invest in stocks, but that is pretty uncertain, puts your principal at risk, and usually is more about gains than income (so you need to get the cash to make mortgage payments from someplace else). You could get some pretty nice income buying high yield bonds at 9.25%, but that means you are effectively borrowing against your home to take pretty significant risk in order to earn, net, something along the order of 2.25%. Especially as a retiree, with a shorter horizon to ride through market downturns, it is generally ill-advised to take much investment risk.

PS clearly the math can be different if you have a mrtg from an earlier rate envt., but I am addressing the common advice to always use mortgage debt, not the particulars of a mortgage someone might already have.

@jennifer hogan My point by using my parents is that everyone is different. Some people are very active in their 70’s. They have an absolute right to live active lives with dreams and goals. If they want a new house and can afford a mortgage, they should not let age stop them. I work with many people in their late 60’s and early 70’s. These people are high income earning professionals, very fit and active, in very demanding jobs with long hours. Some of them have mortgages on first and second homes. This makes sense when interest rates were low. Clearly this is not for everyone. But again, everyone is different. It comes down to what people can afford and what they want in life.

It is illegal for banks to discriminate based on age for mortgages. Banks can take other factors into account like a decline in income, but they cannot deny a mortgage based on age.

When I am 70, I am not going to curl up in a ball and wait to die. I will be living and enjoying life. It very possible that I will have another 25 years left. I just go off the phone with my father, on a Sunday morning. Guess where he is heading? To the office.

I don't think you two are really disagreeing. it is simply that one of you is talking about exceptionally fortunate people (in all senses of that word) and the other is likely describing the average US senior citizen.

We did not compromise much when we bought our house in Los Angeles - if anything it was on price, and we had to borrow $15K from our sister to buy it. We paid her back within two years, but that meant that we had to wait to change the countertops in the kitchen, which was the other main compromise.

We do have a small amount of airport noise, but not enough to really bother us, and we have slight noise from the 405 freeway. However, the freeway is below ground level, and the noise (in our front yard) sounds more like a babbling brook or stream. There is almost no street traffic on our street because it is like a semi-loop and is the opposite of a shortcut to get anywhere. People do not drive on this street unless it is their destination. The downside is that people like to jog in the middle of our street, even though we have sidewalks on both sides of the street.

For the house in Cathedral City, we compromised on kitchen and bathrooms, and I renovated both bathrooms immediately. We took longer to start renovating the kitchen, and the kitchen ending up costing as much as both bathrooms combined, but at least the kitchen is now the way I want it - at least for the limited space that it is in.

Other compromises - we thought we wanted a vintage MCM house in Palm Springs, but that was out of our budget. However, we are very happy with Cathedral City, as it is only 10-15 minutes to downtown Palm Springs, and we are also close to shopping in Rancho Mirage and Palm Desert. We are extremely close to markets in CC that we like, especially Cárdenas, which is the best Mexican market in the Valley. Also, the crime rate in CC is the lowest in the Valley, and that is really a plus.

Our neighborhood is extremely quiet, although one neighbor has a granddaughter who visited him almost every day after school, and she would scream constantly while playing outdoors. I think she is old enough now to have grown out of that stage, and I haven't heard her for the past year or two.

@mtn You are probably right. I just personally cannot stand age discrimination. I know too many healthy and fit 70 year olds. All I’m saying is if someone can afford to carry a mortgage, then age should not be a barrier. I know too many active and fit older people to feel that their lives should be limited because of their age.

My mortgage interest rate is 2.6%. I'd be stupid to pay it off. I do invest, though, Mtn... absolutely.

eta, I think Pal's point about people living longer is highly relevant. I know our nation (U.S.) certainly has chronic disease issues, but our healthcare system is designed to stretch out your life as long as possible. The length... not the quality.

I'm very healthy for my age. Every life expectancy calculator I've done has me living well into my 90s. I've taken this into account in every aspect of my life, including the type of work I do. I expect to be working well into my 70s, perhaps beyond, and happily so. We all need a purpose.

This thread has certainly taken an off-topic turn. Always good to have one that stimulates interesting and civil discussion though - even if OT.

@3katz4me You are kind to let us hijack your thread! But seriously, it’s super exciting that you are looking for a home. Werent you interested in one in SC on a golf course a few months ago? Anyway, for me location, floorplan and size are most important. I also wouldnt want a major remodel (I’ve had enought of that!), but I would be okay with replacing kitchen cabinets, tile, flooring, painting. But maybe not moving walls.

I tried to get it back on topic, but I guess it did not work.

Incidentally, OT could mean both "On Topic" as well as "Off Topic," and I just realized this!

@rockybird - yes, I went and looked at one a while back. It was nice but had some significant window issues that the seller didn't think were a problem so we didn't go through with that one. Someone else bought it within a week. Now I'm going to look at another one - on the same street! I got some more photos from the realtor today and all looks good. If there are no negative surprises when I see it in person we will make an offer. I've observed, and the realtor confirmed, the market is not so crazy as it was when I looked at the last place. Houses are on the market longer and there are a lot of price reductions.

That is so exciting! Fingers crossed it works out! You have to keep us updated after you see it.

Fair warning.....I have created either a manifesto or a novel. If you dare, you can be the judge!

I grew up in a Califnornia beach town with almost a 180 view of the ocean. My parents bought at the right time - we weren't wealthy. Then I went to college in another beach down. All the time, I knew that while I loved it, chances were low that I would be able live in those areas unless I was satisfied renting. That would have been a bigger compromise than any I made to buy the two homes I've owned over the past 30 years.

House #1, Eary 1990s condo. Single, age 28.

I wanted a 1929 Spanish bungalow since my early 20's with wood floors & crystal doorknobs. This was a classic 90's condo aesthetic with no yard and in a neighborhood with no soul. It was entry-level builder grade everything, 1br, 2ba, a loft and an attached one car garage. But it also had 27 windows, three levels and almost 1,200 sq. ft. I loved that place.

Pros: brand new, loft like space.

Cons: Located in a uber-suburban family oriented neighborhood.

Sacrifices: In the early 90's prices were down and a number of folks at my work were buying houses. I was renting and started to look into what it would take to buy. I realized that I it would stretch my budget way more than anyone I knew, but I knew how to live frugal. And while it was what I knew I could pay, my folks had to co-signed my loan. I will never forget how lucky I am. I had a friend rent out the loft area for a super cheap for her/a little extra cash for me six months when I first moved in. In addition, I worked a second full time job for four months of the year over several years to buy the type of furniture I wanted for the space and have some extra spending money.

House #2, 1929 Spanish Eclectic.

LIke I said above, I had a mantra since my early 20's about what I wanted. After being in the condo for more than 10 years, I started to think about moving. Still single and not planning to be a married person, the market had gone up significantly and I wanted more space and a neighborhood that had a downtown area.

I had hoped to be closer to the ocean, but instead went further inland. I had also hoped to be in an historical neighborhood and at least 2br/1ba.

After looking at different neighborhoods in about a 50 mile radius, I had to balance budget with requirements. Closer to the ocean in my budget meant neighborhoods that could change dramatically block to block. Inland there were more historical neighborhoods and options, but still many exceeded my budget. I picked my city and preferred neighborhood. Then I bought "on the [better] other side of the tracks". I saw the listing before I saw a photo of the house and knew it was going to be the one, confirmed the minute I pulled up in front and walked in the door.

Pros: A 1929 Spanish house as I wanted, large lot relative to the house, large public spaces for the age of the house. Lots of interior french doors and original interior hardware/sconces and fire screen. Walkable to downtown - a bit further, but also away from the college bar scene.

Cons: Not in a neighborhood of older homes, but on the edge of a newer (1950's) neighborhood. 1990's large poorly done kitchen (that I love/hated) and weird 1990's bathroom "update", Further north/east than I ever expected to live.

Fast forward and I did get married, we added and remodeled and made this our together home. We could have moved, but we would have spent the same on a down payment for a larger place and also had a larger mortgage. We like our lifestyle made possible this way.

At the end of the day, I could tell you I made a lot more "sacrifices" except that I started with expectations that were consistent with my means. I don't always see that in young home buyers today. I think today's vast "decorating media" has skewed many peoples ability thought process in terms of "ability to pay" vs. "second desires & wants".

Our primary home we compromised. It took us 8 months of looking to find a that met as many needs as this home did, and was located in an area we wanted. Not a lot for sale while we were looking. We wanted a 3 car garage; 2 spaces for cars and one for my husband's workshop. We ended up with a 2 car garage that is placed so poorly that it is almost impossible to get a car into the garage. Not sure what they were thinking when they designed this garage. We wanted an attic, had one in our previous house, did not happen. Since parking in the garage is beyond difficult, we use the two car garage for my husband's workshop and attic storage. Cars are parked in the driveway; not ideal. We wanted a kitchen equivalent to our last kitchen and a dedicated laundry/utility room. Our kitchen is not even close to the last one. It has very little counterspace and is not as functional as I would like, laundry is in the garage. Lots of 1990's elements, 7 years later still working to make this our own style.

We did not compromise on location, 4 bedrooms, wonderful outdoor space, and lots of light. We did get a lovely city view and a large lot; unexpected bonuses.

Our home is unique and I love it despite the compromises, but I dislike my kitchen and there is really no way to change it to be what I want without a major house remodel. Probably will not happen.

When we moved to our previous house it was a compromise for me bc I did not like the layout. We bought it because I had chosen all of our homes up to that time and DH finally saw one he really wanted. What were compromises for me— too much land, a style I didn’t particularly like and interior finishes and flooring that had to be changed— were for DH either positives or didn’t bother him. His only non negotiable was either an existing tennis court or the room to build one. We lived there for fifteen years and during that time I changed almost everything about the house, hundreds of thousands of dollars that we did not see a return on in our small little town.

We bought the home we are in the day I saw it. We needed a place with less maintenance, less infrastructure, and less isolated. When I saw this one (while DH was still in the hospital in 2019) I knew we would never find another with this combination of floorplan, size, location, views and privacy. It was already under contract but had a contingency so I offered a healthy amount over asking (unheard of for our area) with no contingencies and we got it. We’ve done quite a bit to it but I am not pulling out perfectly good materials and replacing them to ”update” it. I’ve changed things for functionality but if something works, is good quality and I don’t hate it, it stays. I’m over the myth of the forever house and and satisfied with a “really good“ house. We’ve been very happy here and while there are some drawbacks to living in a 55+ community, for the most part we are poster children for the lifestyle 😎

And the couple we outbid eventually bought the house next door to us and she reminds me often that we got ”her” house.

This has been a very interesting thread.

My first home was not a compromise. It was a new build townhouse in a town I liked. Newly married to the 1st DH. I liked the development (they didn't cut down all the trees to build it). I liked that I could pick all the finishes. It was 3 bedrooms which was more than enough to start a family. I liked that it was affordable. It was a wonderful place. Made life long friends. All pregnant with our first babies at the same time.

While my townhouse was being built, there was a street in the same town where houses were being built. I loved the street (again, tons of trees that they did not cut down to build the houses) and the style of the houses. And it was a cul-de-sac. But they were way out of my budget at the time so it was not a possiblity but one could dream. For 12 years while living in that townhouse I would occassionally drive down that street. Well, one day (after a divorce and 2nd much better marriage), there was a for sale by owner sign on the lawn of one house. Called owner. Still out of my budget. But it was a down time for the market and houses were not selling. They eventually reduced the price so that it was close enough to my budget to look at it. When leaving the house, and walking down the driveway to our car, I said to DH, we're buying this house. Figure it out :-) He did. We bought it. I still love it. Yes, there were some compromises - not all the finishes in the house were to my liking. The property is not conducive to a pool, so we never put in a pool (probably not a bad thing for the finances).

I am starting to think about downsizing and moving closer to my DD and grandchildren. DH on the other hand is not interested in moving. At all. We shall see where that goes in the next few years.

It is a very interesting thread, and I my mind keeps getting stuck on the word "compromise".

I don't know that I compromised on anything when I bought my current or previous homes.

Did I get my dream home - no, but the only way I can afford my dream home is if I can use dream money.

Maybe my expectations were based more within the reasonable confined of my budget.

1st house - we were moving from a 600 sf/2 br/1 ba rental in La Mesa, CA. It was in a decent neighborhood, but not the best neighborhood.

I wanted:

• something larger
• something that was reasonably well maintained - cosmetic fixer would be okay
• in a nicer neighborhood
• no HOA
• not on a busy street
• within the county of San Diego
• enough yard for my dogs to have some place to run and play.
• within my max budget (Down payment + max mortgage $ approved by our credit union).

I found a well maintained 25 year ranch home, 1700 sf/3 br/2ba home on a cul-de-sac, in a great neighborhood with a large (60;x60') fenced in back yard on .2 acres. It took 8 months to find the home, but it fit all my criteria.

When I moved from CA to PA I wanted:

• a home close enough to my family that it wasn't a burden to drop in or have them drop in. (All my siblings live within 10 miles from one another)
• at least 1200 sf
• at least 2 br/2 ba
• something that was reasonably well maintained - cosmetic fixer would be okay
• in a good neighborhood
• no HOA
• not on a busy street
• enough yard for my dogs to have some place to run and play.
• Within my budget (money set aside for purchase - no mortgage required for purchase or renovations).
• single story/ranch
• more closet / storage space than my last home
• MCM vibe
• Gas heat
• did not want formal living and dining rooms (never used the formal LR in my last home, converted the formal DR to an office).

This time I had more choices. I could get more space and a larger house if I got something that was not brand new or I could build something smaller on a smaller lot but both options fit within my criteria. To me this is a choice, not a compromise.

I was in negotiations with a builder that had a lot for sale when my current home came on the market. I walked through the home and knew it was meant to be mine. It had the perfect layout, was in the perfect location (the same neighborhood I grew up in - within 8 miles of any sibling, less than 1 mile from my oldest sister, 3 miles from my other sister.) MCM rambling ranch, 2000 sf/2 br/2 ba + an office + a private "sitting room" off the Master. Last home had 21 linear feet of closet space, no basement, 2 car garage. This home had over 70 linear feet of closet space, an oversized 1 car garage + a 1 car carport and a partial basement (24x24) on .4 acres.

Every room needed updating. Still had the original wallpaper from the 60s, original kitchen (including Formica with the metal edge), one bathroom had the salmon pick tub, sink and toilet . . . but it was listed 45K under my max budget.

I've observed, and the realtor confirmed, the market is not so crazy as it was when I looked at the last place. Houses are on the market longer and there are a lot of price reductions.

I have seen this, too. Hopefully it works in your favor!

I like the way Jennifer Hogan put it: This is a choice, not a compromise.'

Interesting thread, and I've enjoyed reading responses.

I am a house person. I could never live in a dwelling that did not scream at me "this is it!" In our first home search, we looked at 30+ houses and I was pregnant wiht #2. Going through neighborhoods with hills and curves did not agree with me at that time. We saw a sign, but house was not on the MLS. Our agent called anyway. Owner was willing to show us and after making several promies to her we bought our first home. Lots of updating, remodeling and adding on over 20yrs. Huge corner lot, great driveway for the children, top school system and close to my family. No HOA.

Our built our next home in a rural area, on acreage, in a horse community with fishing lakes. My only compromise was a non-masonry fireplace past the first floor. We did have a wood burning insert, but had gas logs. I do not like gas logs, and we barely used it in the 13yrs we were there. I do miss our lake and ridge views, and passing horses on the way home. I do not miss the HOA (or a few of the neighbors).

Our last home was purchaed from my mother's estate. We had already been searching back in town for about a year. As many of you know, it took a bit for me to decide on this house. A complete remodel of the 30+ yo house and landscaping made it our own, and there was no compromising. I enjoyed decorating it and living there, but we decided to move out of state. The HOA was fabulous.

Our current home is one I would have never imagined living in, but we knew it was the one when we pulled into the driveway and walked through the garden and pool area to the front door. We are glad not to be in an HOA.

Interesting commentary on HOAs. They have advantages and disadvantages and vary greatly. Both of our current homes are in HOAs - the one in the city has TWO. Our previous home was in one as well and our next one probably will be too. None of them have really bothered me. I was on the board of one of our current ones for seven years and DH was on the board of the other one for three years. In my experience the HOA is only as good as the board and a lot of good people wouldn’t have that job for all the tea in China.

Exactly, 3katz.

If an HOA keeps my neighbors from painting their houses purple or having cunning windmills or fake deer in their yards I can put up with almost any other restrictions. When we liived on acreage you could not see any of the homes from our street and it’s hard to make gated entrances tacky. Here where we are living cheek by jowl we need those rules to keep colors harmonious as originally planned, and yards and porches uncluttered.

adding… I served years on our HOA in Florida and will undoubtedly take a turn here eventually.

As I said above, not all are bad. I deal with two now with my sister's houses. One can be trying at times (depending on who is on the Board). We both served for years during our time by the lake. DH on the Board and I was on the ARC. The worst was when a couple of crazy people moved into the neighborhood and they wanted on the Board. One went door to door saying he was there collecting ballots. If someone had not sent in, he had some printed with four extra names already checked for them to sign. He was not nice if they refused to sign. Another on his ballot lost his medical license due to exchanging drugs for "favors" and inappropriate contact with paitents (so he did not qualify anyway per the Articles). The ballots were not legal and were not counted. Anyway, that's just one example.

3katz, did you go see the latest contender yet?

@Allison0704 - yes I did. I added a new post with an update - twice - and both times it appeared and then disappeared. So rather than try it a third time I'm just going to wait and see if it magically reappears.

I’m no longer able to add new posts that don’t disappear so my warmer climate house hunt update will remain a mystery - perhaps forever.

What? Noooo. You can post here though?

Do you want me to start a new thread and you can post to it?!

@MtnRdRedux - hey that’s a good idea if you don’t mind.

sure!

Okay - I posted there but not sure if anyone other than me can see it.

OMG, this is crazy. I don't see it! So odd. You could post here, and I can link to this in the other post telling people to look here for an update? IDK..

I think there must be something in there that’s causing Hz to filter it out. I posted on Appliances and that went through. I bet if I posted it here it won’t show up. I’ll put in in a new one and see.

Congrats!! how exciting! Can't wait to hear more.

What the heck is going on? It doesn't even show up in your Activity. Going to check Appliances. LOL

ETA: I see your new post there. How odd it won't show up here.