Hi again Carol, How gratifying to hear your report of how things are going for you and family. Speaking of family - I hope that yours became accustomed to your upgraded situation without too much distress. Interesting, isn't it, how people get used to seeing others (and themselves?) in sort of a rut, following a familiar path? Sometimes I wonder whether some of the partially/slightly negative attention that they pay to someone else's changing course may have some connection with their unhappiness with their present situation, possibly having some inner desire to do something similar, but being rather unwilling to give that desire house-room, whether from inertia (? - I thought that there was a more precise word, called son, but this is the best that we can think of at the moment), fear or whatever motive. I'm pleased that you're finding some success in the field that you've chosen to pursue, and hope that it proceeds apace. Son and I attended a networking project called "The Beehive" last year that's rather different and enables one to meet a number of folks who might be able to offer mutual support/business contact/development possibilities. I heard of it through an economic development council that I've been connected to in our area and took son to one of their initial local meetings. Actually, it was while I was taking son home from their first meeting that I attended that my car got smacked! They divide a number of people in a room into several groups of about 4 each. They pass out a business envelope to each participant, with a card inside. Each person becomes a "Queen Bee", writing some question relating to an idea that they'd like to develop their business around. For me, a financial planner, instead of writing, "Would you like to pay less income tax?" (which would focus on the hearer[s] only), they encourage me to write, "Do you know someone who would like to pay less income tax?" (asking the hearer to think whether they may know of someone in that situation, in addition to themselves). Another member of the small group becomes the "worker bee", and when the round begins, starts by asking the question in her/his own group. If someone knows of a person who might be interested, s/he gives her/his business card to the worker bee. The worker bee takes that Queen Bee's question around to each of the other groups in turn, asking the question. If someone there knows of someone that might be interested, they hand their business card to the worker bee and the worker bee departs, to visit another "hive". They get some hype and speed worked into the situation, each flying worker wondering whether they've been to this or that hive yet, and when a worker bee has finished in a hive and departed, the members of that hive put up their hands and shout, "Over here! Over here!" to attract another worker bee. When each worker bee has visited every hive, they all gather around the coordinator and each reads her/his question in turn, with the other worker bees handing over their own cards if they are interested in that question. Then each worker returns to his/her own hive and hands the question card with the group of cards that s/he gathered to the "Queen Bee" who wrote the question. They usually run four rounds, if there were four members in each "hive" - so everyone gets to be "Queen" once, and "worker" once. They usually run four rounds - which means that each person puts four questions of interest to each participant in the meeting that night. Each participant usually goes home with a fistful of pre-qualified cards in her/his sweaty little hand. The recipient of the cards then contacts the owner of each card received to ask for the contact. This avoids the pressure of the person contacted being put on the spot. I think that several friendships are developed that way, in additon to there being an ongoing live contact. If one of the other members who gave me his card and meets someone a while later who might be interested, s/he might give my name to that person, or tell me about the person's possible interest. Check them out at www.neworldcoaching.com. I've offered a "Christmas gift" to folks here on the "Finance" and "KT" forums, plus here for several years now, a gift that should save them hundreds, maybe thousands, in their lifetime, in addition to keeping former friendships warm. Write the names of everyone you've known since childhood, with contact info, then, over time, add items that relate to them - training, profession, interests, hobbies, vacation destinations, etc. When you want to know something - ask the folks on your database. As time goes along, if you develop some items of interest to several of them, you might begin a sort of newsletter to send to all or a portion. As people become familiar with what you're doing, they may contact you when they have a question, etc. If you can be helpful in such a situation, that guy owes you one, right? Isn't that rather shameful - offering the same (no direct cost) "Christmas gift" to the same people, over and over?! I guess if one's as frugal as I, there are some things about which it gets rather hard to shame them! Well - I didn't do it last Christmas, at least. I hope that some recent comers weren't left without another potential arrow in their quiver, because of it. Good wishes as you step forward into your future, Carol! ole joyful

5. "Avoid the check-out line. [In lieu of shopping,] stroll down an alley or look in a Dumpster to see how much stuff doesn't survive the first move. Think about this and don't buy it to start with." I call this one, "first, do no harm"--just don't buy it in the first place. Stuff like foot baths, and battery-powered rotary shower scrubbers. Little gadgety appliances. Also, look at the shelves in the thrift shop, or the leftovers at the garage sale. So many things, NOBODY wants! Not even for free, really. Toss them in the garbage, then. My church had a HUGE rummage sale--so, so much was left at the end, it was an education. Things that people would say, "it's still good, it still have value"--NOT! I feel much less guilty now when I toss something in the garbage. Stuff that really the only time you'd buy it is if you needed to get someone a gift--sometimes I think nobody should even MAKE those things. And I liked #2--"unburder surfaces." We decluttered for selling the place, and I cleared stuff off the mantel. And suddenly I *liked* the mantel. I had candles, etc., on there just because people gave them to me, and so that was where I had available to put them. I got rid of those stupid candles. I don't care if they are penguins, etc.--I like my mantel better EMPTY. I don't WANT to have so much "pretty" stuff on display, even if it IS pretty. (and these weren't my choice anyway)

We started downsizing today. We've lived in this house for 33 years, raised 3 kids and had the pleasure of having my Dad live with us for the last 5 years of his life. We've done so much to this place that it's hard to leave - we put on a 1,000 sq ft addition, added a porch and a pool but now's the time to transition and we've decided to move to an over 55 community near our home. DH went through his closet, chest of drawers and easily eliminated 90% of his clothes. Now that he's retired he no longer needs multiple suits, sport coats and ties, plus he's slimmed down and most are too large. Unfortunately I haven't slimmed down and my closet is full of clothes that will fit at various weights. But you have to start somewhere and since DH has made the first move it's up to me to continue. Now that we know where we're going and when it will be much easier. Most of our furniture will go with us and actually look better in the new place. We'll offer some of the bedroom furniture to the kids and then donate what they don't want. A realtor is coming tomorrow to give us an appraisal and then we start getting the rest of the house ready.

DH and I are also thinking about downsizing someday, now that we're empty nesters. Our home, while not huge at 3200 sf, is still very labor intensive with its all-brick floors, all adobe walls, 4 patios, 4 fireplaces, a 300-foot long (gravel, curvy, up and down through the trees) driveway, and several acres of land, in the mountains, achieved through a mountain pass that can get very icy during Winters, and at least 20 minutes from most stores. The realities of what we ideally would like versus what we may need is a real wakeup. When my parents originally downsized from our family home with bedrooms enough for nine kids, they bought a Winter home north of Tampa with 2 bedrooms and one bath. It seemed ultimately practical to them at the time, as my parents were very athletic and Mom was looking forward to not having a large home to clean for the first time is many, many years. But, the reality of it was sadly different. It made it very difficult for any of us with kids to visit them comfortably. At the same time, they also had a Summer place up on Lake Huron in Michigan. That, too, was small, and made visiting difficult. So, the sad reality was that the first 20 years of their retirement were spent pretty much alone, as all of their children lived in Michigan (6), Atlanta (1), Colorado (1) or New Mexico (1). We all had small kids and many of my siblings did not have the funds to put their families up in a hotel for a week, along with the airfare for them all. Mom's health took a bad turn, they sold their Florida home and moved in with my one sister and BIL's large two story home in Atlanta. But, Sis immediately had to have a stair climber put it, as stairs were too difficult for Mom . . . and eventually Dad, as well. When Mom's health progressed to a point where my sis could no longer take care of her, less than two years later, (Mom had Progressive Supranuclear Palsy), we again moved them, this time into a senior living apartment back in Michigan near the majority of their now-adult kids. This was good because it had round-the-clock staff to call if needed. It was also designed for seniors, being a one-story apartment with any tripping hazards eliminated, a walk-in shower with a seat, call buttons, wide doorways to accommodate walkers and wheelchairs, etc. So, what kind of retirement home do I see us downsizing into? Somewhere close to at least one of our kids and their family. In a community designed for retirees. 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. Hopefully wide doorways, etc. just in case, God forbid, we ever need them ourselves! A gourmet kitchen, but it doesn't have to be a large one. Open concept. a great room, instead of our now separate family room, living room and dining rooms. A walled backyard for privacy . . . and this may be our biggest compromise. Having lived here in the mountains, where we all have enough land so that neighbors daily noises aren't heard, it may be very hard to be subjected to close neighbor's music, conversations, etc.. That worries me a lot!.