A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was; after listening to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room. Then the doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's room. "What's wrong with you?" he demanded. This woman is 63 years old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?!!" The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said: "Does she still have the hiccups? Rusty

Rusty

A man was walking along a mountain road and saw another man lying with his ear to the ground. As he approached the other man, he heard him talking. "Chevy pickup truck. Large tires. Green. Man driving with large German Shepherd in passenger seat. Loaded with firewood. California license plate 1PDR34." The observer was astounded. "You mean you can discern all that from listening with your ear to the ground?" he asked. "Ear to ground nuthin' " the man replied. That truck just ran over me."

One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating.” - Luciano Pavarotti