I think the window trim should match the other window and door trim, and baseboard, in the rest of the house. The cabinets are like furniture while the trims are the house.

http://www.countryliving.com/homes/renovation-and-remodeling/waterfront-living-0705#slide-1 or gustavian grey/blue would look super with your choices.

Just to close out this thread for future reference - painted the crown white in all areas where it was not over the cabinets, and it looks a LOT better. Should have been done that way from the start. Left the crown over the cabinets (which is the same design, just different color) as white chocolate, which also looks right. The only tricky part in this was painting the crown where the two colors meet. I did a decent but not perfect job, I will probably go back over it with a fine paintbrush to get a perfect line.

I suspect it is the Milesi 2k poly in 20 "sheen." It is one of the more popular sheens for Milesi. ETA: matching sheen can be rougher than color actually. BM Advance tends to be on the glossy side, so even their satin will be a 30 or more. While Sherwin William's waterborne tends to be on the flatter side. It is difficult to dictate a sheen match in a limited product line like BM Advance. Your best bet might be to consider various products or brands.