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I Hate My Brand New Kitchen

Pure Panic
last year

We are building a modern farmhouse that is over double the budget for various reasons, Covid, greedy contractors, etc. Now theyve installed the cabinets, countertops, and island and I HATE it all! And yes, i picked them all at the time and I’m devastated because this was really expensive. The cabinets are bright white and so is the counter. It is awful. We were supposed to have wood beams going across the entire room but had to cut due to over budget. Now I also have the ugly soffit that was supposed to be there for the beams to run into. Then i decided to addstone to the island to bring in some warmth. it looks terrible. We do have a medium brown hardwood floor..

Please help! i haven’t slept in two weeks and now im paralyzed on making any more bad decisions. i cant even choose a backsplash. Should I paint the cabinets, demolish the stone, add a wood range hood, buy different countertops?





Comments (184)

  • eastautumn
    last year

    ci_lantroI think the reason the soffit is visually dominating is because it is painted the trim color, which is a brighter white than the cabinets. Once painted to match the cabinets, I don't think it will stick out. I love Jan's idea of possibly adding crown to the top of the soffit that relates to the trim, but what is there now doesn't look bad (at least to my eye) and will suffice until the OP lives in the house for awhile and determines if it even needs to be changed.


    Unless there is a logical place for the wood ceiling beams (that were nixed) to terminate across from the walls we can see in the photos, I don't think it makes sense to add them in the future and have them just end in the middle of the ceiling of a kitchen that is open to other rooms. Maybe there is a logical place for them to terminate and it just isn't obvious from the photos, but otherwise I don't think ceiling beams in this kitchen are a great idea.

  • User
    last year

    Just chiming in on the soffit as I know correct decision is made on the stone already.

    The soffit as is does not work. The shiplap line looks weird and it extends out too much. It needs to be more flush to the cabinets and same color. But I also think removing it and just adding crown will look fine. I think it is too big a project to wait to do later.

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  • kl23
    last year

    Jan, the simple crown moulding in your image is exactly what I had in mind, what I was trying to suggest. But your image is even better. And on to and above the flat. Proving your point that it takes a team...or a really good pro like you.

  • T_Wag
    last year

    @Pure Panic sorry you are unhappy. maybe remove stone and paint the island a darker color. maybe soffit can be removed? maybe you can put false cabinet fronts on it so it looks like cabinets run to ceiling

  • PRO
    JAN MOYER
    last year
    last modified: last year

    Thanksgiving dinner for twenty......... building a home is the multi times magnified version of that dinner.

    You start with the idea of a beautifully set table replete with the goodies, and an empty pantry and fridge. A list. What do I need? When do I need it? What time do I prepare it, how long will it take. In what order so all arrives, hot, cold, at the table, at the SAME TIME. !!

    As happened here, decisions come at you willy nilly. The painter wants the wall color, long before you're "ready". Every single element has a pecking order that doesn't allow a wait and see of what looks good. It feels as though you're winging it.

    That the internet and tv have made it all look simple is one problem, as nothing that appears to be simple, actually IS very simple.

    Failing a team, it's you and that builder or contractor. It's planning, and staring, and staring some more.

    But. Things that happen as in this thread? You thought you'd like it - you hate it. You forgive yourself. You come back and change it. But it is virtually never..... the end of the world. : )

  • antmaril
    last year

    I would remove the stone from the island. I think that is the only glaring mistake. Live with the rest of it. Take a deep breath - it’s going to be fine.

  • ci_lantro
    last year

    The cabinets are lovely. The soffit is too big, too heavy, too rustic and impossible to ignore because the glass front cabinets are inviting the eyes to look up only to be crushed with an elephant sitting on top of them. Painting it to match the cabinets is not going to make it go away.

  • liasch
    last year

    Good analogy…agreed. Too too heavy. And beams wouldn’t help.

  • Alice Edwards
    last year

    Can you remove the shiplap from the soffit and use it on the island? Still a bit rustic for your remaining kitchen, but could be a save on the material. The glass cabinets and rest of kitchen looks beautiful!

  • Jessica Lorraine
    last year

    I have a hunch that this soffitt is the cover for your ventilation. If that's the case, you can't remove it. Unless you can afford to spend even more money so an HVAC guy could reroute everything, and depending on your architecture that might not even be possible.Either way, the soffit is not the biggest issue eith the aesthetic here. The facade of the soffit can be changed to look more intentional. The problem is the sterile pallete of the all white kitchen and the stone accent on the island. For farmhouse style, you need to add some raw wood tones in an all white kitchen, maybe some brass hardware. The island would be a good spot for a raw wood tone. You could also do the base cabinets in raw wood tone too, since the countertop is light. If you really want to keep the stone accent on the island, then you could try to do a german smear over it. This is not dyi-friendly as the application has to be done skillfully in order to look good.

  • jayapple21
    last year

    I have read and looked at the photos in this dilemma multiple times before commenting and to be honest, the stone on the island does not bother me. It is very well done and it ties in with the stone on the fireplace at the other end of the room. My advice would be to let it stay until the entire kitchen/family room is near completion with the appliances in place and the floors revealed. Wait until you can actually see the entire room before changing out the island surface.

    If you are planning to have stools on the sides of the island so more folks can sit at the same time, then the overhang makes sense but most islands do not have such a wide side extension of counter material. That's a decision for you to make based on your need and how you visualized the family using the island. If you were only planning to have a couple of stools on one side of the island then the overhangs are unusally wide.

    I agree with the thought that the shiplap doesn't work well above the kitchen cabinets NOR above the fireplace. Jan Moyer's suggestion for a rework using crown moldeing above the cabinets would look so much nicer with the style of cabinets you've chosen. I'm not a fan of the shiplap above your fireplace, either. It seems too 'cottage-y' which doesn't tie in with the strength of the stone work. A plain wall with perhaps textured paint to set it apart from the adjoining walls would be preferable, I believe. I'm sure there are other good options for the wall above the fireplace and Houzzers can/will give you good suggestions for that area.

    Overall, your kitchen/family room design ideas are terrific and you need to take a deep breath and smile. It's going to be beautiful when it's all finished.


  • Gloria H.
    last year

    I would get a professional kitchen designer to help out. It’s never too late. I just think if you are sitting on a stool at the island, the stone would be pretty harsh on your knees, etc.

  • liasch
    last year

    Jay, somehow I missed the photograph of the fireplace with that same stone in it. I agree with these comments here if there was more of a tie in with other more rustic materials stone could work.

  • jayapple21
    last year
    last modified: last year

    Fireplace at other end of the same room.


    I just noticed that it looks like there is no hearth for the fireplace. Maybe it will be an electric fireplace so a hearth isn't necessary? I don't know the codes about fireplaces so I'm guessing this manner of building them is acceptable.

  • PRO
    Mila
    last year

    I would apply a coat of gray chalk paint, let it dry, and follow with a coat of white chalk paint. You’ll get the whitewashed stone affect on the front of the island and your fireplace. The stone sticks out like a sore thumb, especially in a white kitchen.

    Add some color to the wall like a sage green, which will go nicely with the black hardware, door/window and kitchen fixtures. It’ll look good once you paint, add nice backsplash, and accessorize with some wooden cutting boards display, display vases in few of the open kitchen cabinets up top, and some nice runners.

    Follow step by step whitewash instructions with the link below.

    https://lifeonvirginiastreet.com/white-washed-stone-fireplace-html/
    Good luck!

  • liasch
    last year

    That definitely changes my impression of the space to have the fireplace with the shiplap at the other end of the same area… I’m leaning towards waiting until you can see all the floors and get some things moved in here. Definitely in “don’t panic“ and “Wait and see“ mode here. However, the difficulty may be that if you do want to make some changes they absolutely need to be done now.

  • amykath
    last year

    I understand that feeling of panic and the desire to fix everything you do not like all at once and right away! However, I would start by removing the stone if that is in your budget.


    I also think that just painting the soffit the same as the cabinet color is a great idea.


    I would then wait and try to relax and think about what you really like and want.


    If it were my kitchen, I would paint the island a nice deeper color for contrast. No rush on that, just live with it all and see what comes to you once you are not longer panicked.


    As for the faucets, I would not go with black. That is just my own personal choice.


    You have a gorgeous space and a little tweaking will go a long way. Take some deep breaths and take your time. It is going to look amazing once you have finished!!!

  • liasch
    last year

    I actually could see the black working very well on the faucets due to the hardware on the cabinets and the black on the window frame.

    And I agree painting the soffit might actually be enough.

  • rebunky
    last year

    I think what bothers me (besides the stone on the island) is how the soffit extends passed the sides of the cabinets on each end.

    Can just the two ends be cut back to line up with the sides of the cabinet? It would have been nice if the soffit front lined up with cabinet doors as well, but maybe that is more work then you want to do.

    Yes to painting soffit to match the cabinets. I also like the idea of a darker color or black for the island.

    Before

    After


  • ELSY RODRIGUEZ
    last year

    Remove the stone and do a warm wood on 3 sides of the island. Add warmth with wood elements and decorations. Add a warm earthy color to the walls. Use matte black faucet and black outor brass hardware. Definitely add pendants to the island or a long rectangular light fixture in brass. I would add a range hood the same wood as the island for symmetry and to compliment the wood tones. Use greenery/live plants to add color and interest. Keep decor simple so not to overwhelm the small space. Your space is not terrible, but it can be better. Good luck.

  • anna_682
    last year
    last modified: last year

    I would paint the island and consider building out the sides of the island beneath the counter overhangs in the same fashion as the end cabinet X-shaped cubbies or enclosed shelves. Then you could add wood across the entire back at the same length as the countertop. It looks a little unbalanced right now.


    A built in wine rack




  • rebunky
    last year

    Just one idea. So many different directions you could go!

    (btw, I am no designer so this is just me playing around)

    Something like this, but with the wood part extending out a little more for a mantle-like ledge?



  • jayapple21
    last year
    last modified: last year

    I have followed a blog entitled, "Beneath My Heart" for a long time (have-seen-the-children-grow-up-amount-of-time). The husband had a banking background but he is an excellent carpenter and awhile back the family decided to go into home renovation full-time. It occurred to me just now that a kitchen renovation they posted online yesterday is very similar to Pure Panic's kitchen. Perhaps the choices/decisions the homeowner made will be of some help to PP. It is an amazing renovation, timeless in design, well thought out, and beautifully done. Here is the link: https://www.beneathmyheart.net/2023/01/makeover-monday-kitchen-makeover/

  • amykath
    last year

    Jay, what a great comparison she can use for ideas!!

  • Rachel
    last year

    You mentioned that you blew the budget by double. My advice is to let the builder finish it and don’t add or change anything or the costs will go up even further. Live in the home first and take your time to gradually work on your changes a little at a time.


  • amykath
    last year

    Rachel has a great point! When you have made decision with a clear and not panicked mind, you can cover the tile with most anything rather than removing it. I have done such things before.


    Painting your own soffit is free is you do it (minus the paint).


    Again, I would just take my time!


    In my old kitchen my ex-husband build our vent out of leftover materials and I painted it. I thought is looked great!



    gw · More Info



    gw · More Info


  • always1stepbehind
    last year

    oh that island looks much better without the rock.


  • blfenton
    last year

    The nice thing about the chosen backsplash (besides the colour) is the size and shape of the tile. The tile size and shape mimics that of the glass in the uppers and the bulkhead seam mimics that of the glass panel horizontal divider and the tile horizontal division. It has had the effect of the bulkhead disappearing. Good job.



  • houssaon
    last year

    I am glad it worked out for you. Looks great!

  • herbflavor
    last year

    nice backsplash tile.....i didnt object so much to the stone on the island but since you found a very classy splash that can be a nice focus . its so great looking in your kitchen.

  • PRO
    JAN MOYER
    last year
    last modified: last year

    AMAZING: ) !!!!!!!!! good for you!


    ( honey..are those pendants just a tad high or is it photography angle? )

  • la_la Girl
    last year

    wow looks great! love the green tiles and hits of black

  • Pure Panic
    Original Author
    last year

    @JAN MOYER its the angle of the photograph. Pendants look perfect in person.

  • PRO
    Diana Bier Interiors, LLC
    last year

    Wow, great job--it looks wonderful!!!

  • theresa21
    last year

    Love your Kitchen! I wasn't too crazy about the rock wall. This is so much better! Yay!

  • happyleg
    last year

    I love it & it's cozy now!

  • amykath
    last year

    Wow! You did a wonderful job! I love the island, the backspash, the pendants... everything. It all plays so well together. You must be thrilled!!!! I love it.

  • Lynn Lou
    last year

    Everything looks great! What backsplash did you do? Enjoy your kitchen!

  • Amanda Smith
    last year

    So glad it worked out for you. Thanks for the update.

  • jayapple21
    last year

    It's lovely, Pure P. Your 'worrisome caterpillar' has evolved into a 'butterfly' - a truly handsome kitchen! 🦋

  • Kendrah
    last year

    So glad you posted an update. It is really grand! The backsplash color and black and gold lights are so handsome. I love the glow in the upper glass cabinets. So nice to see something with a dash of originality to it. Use it in good health. (Did I just say that or is my dead grandma talking through me? She had great taste and would love your kitchen too.)

  • rebunky
    last year
    last modified: last year

    Wow! It looks so great! Thanks for returning with an update.

    I am in love with your backsplash choice. Please can you share the info on the tile? My son is remolding his kitchen soon and I think he might like that.

    That photo at night with the upper cabinets lit up looks so cozy! I can just imagine the whole space. We just finished dinner, (my maid cleaned up the dishes lol) and my husband and I are sipping wine, snuggling on the couch, watching the crackling fire, as the cares of the day melt away.

    Now I am inspired to get my hubby to finish installing the lights up in our stacked uppers. Can you also share the lighing you installed because I love how the light envelops the whole interior of the cabinet verses looking like a spot light. Did you change to a different glass that’s frosted?

    I am still in shock at how different it all looks. Well done!

    Oh and can you please share daytime photos as well?

  • PRO
    Diana Bier Interiors, LLC
    last year

    Again, great job! On looking at the photo that Jan posted of the "before" and "after," it's amazing the difference good lighting makes. The before lighting is so stark and overbearing, and the after is soft and inviting. The under cabinet lights and the pendants give the welcoming vibe that the overheads do not. (Obviously the overheads are necessary while working in the kitchen.)

    Are you planning to add some sort of window treatment? It would add to the coziness by diminishing the "black hole" effect that bare windows become at night!

  • nelliebean
    last year

    Great tile choice. Lovely kitchen.

  • PRO
    JAN MOYER
    last year

    In a bit of an echo on Diana above? Nobody argues that black at windows is cool in broad daylight, but the same thing is a definite black hole in the evening.

    I almost think you could JUST do the muntins in white, and solve that issue of black hole in darkness. No loss of the look, really.

    Just want to add that the LACK of a 4000k , washed out screaming surgical room in the evening is so VERY, very lovely : ) and just pay attention with that bread knife lol

  • Pure Panic
    Original Author
    last year

    The tile is Angela Harris Dunmore Green in 8” square. Bold Choice so i was hoping it worked…and it did. I also went with a white grout.

    I may add 12” floating wood shelves on the right side above the wine cabinet but I'm taking a break until we actually get moved in and get it decorated.

    The electrician ordered the upper cabinet lights so I’m not sure what brand. They are tiny (maybe 1 1/2 inches) and are installed near the front but tilted towards the back. He said he usually uses lights in the middle but they leave shadows so it was my husbands idea to use these.

  • PRO
    RL Relocation LLC
    last year

    looks great. cozy and warm for a white kitchen

  • raee_gw zone 5b-6a Ohio
    last year

    I am so glad that you came back to show us! It does look great, and I heartily approve of the green backsplash!

    Now, may I make one other suggestion (that you never asked for, sorry...)? In the only picture of the fireplace, the white on the shiplap (even though it matches the cabinets) was just so dominant against the stone and the wall. Would you consider painting it in a more muted shade, so the fireplace stone would have center stage?

  • PRO
    JAN MOYER
    last year
    last modified: last year

    One add here for others ? See that nice glow on the counter tops?

    It's the result of a SOLID shade. the liner in the solid shade forcing a warm glow and light onto tops, rather than dispersing through glass or even an open frame pendant.

    Both lovely AND functional : )