Uniquely: The white salt-like particles in the Miracle Grow are probably sand. Personally, I would not return or trash the plants if the only problem is fungus gnats and the mushrooms; the last seems a bit extreme. Besides, doesn't Home Depot give a one-year guarantee if you keep the receipt? Oh, and I would not repot. Your soil is probably just kept too wet. No matter what you do, if the soil is stays too wet you will get fungus gnats (and sometimes mushrooms). How often do you water? Did you wait until the soil is dry before rewatering or are you keeping it wet? Clay pots dry out much faster than plastic or glazed (unless these are glazed clay pots) so if your problem is overwatering, it will be worse in plastic or ceramic pots. There will be several opinions on what you should use as far as planting medium. Since you are new to plants, I would suggest you keep everything as simple as possible. I grow all my tropicals in some type of Miracle Gro. I keep a plastic bin filled with 1/2 Miracle Gro and 1/2 perlite. You can buy perlite at Home Depot. If you have an option, go for the coarsest grade possible. Sometimes the local farmers' co-op will carry coarse perlite. You could also purchase a moisture meter which has a probe that allows you to see how wet the plant really is. I think these are a real asset until you learn more about watering and plants. Sorta like a security blanket. :-) Once you get the watering thing down, you can repot your plants in either plastic or ceramic pots. How you get rid of the white on clay pots depends on what it is. If you Google "How to get the white off clay pots" you'll see what I mean. Don't panic. Fungus gnats are quite common but they do flourish in wet soil (as do mushrooms). You can spray your plants with Safer Soap to kill the adults. The forming larvae will die when the plant dries. One important thing about watering: Every other time, water until the water runs through the pot (this is called "flushing"). It rids the plant of salt build-up which is a death sentence. If your plants are small (and since you only have three) you can take them to the sink. Set them in a drain and use the sprayer. This will not only flush the salts away, it will clean the foliage and discourage insects. Use warm water. Whatever you do, try not to stress. There is always a trial and error period when learning about anything and we all have made mistakes. If a plant dies, try to understand why so as not to repeat the same mistakes. But don't beat yourself up over it. We all lose plants at some point in time. Trust me, in future years you'll look back on this and think: "Why the heck was I worried about that?" :-D Happy Growing, Linda

That looks great Brandy. That is something like what I would like to do on the porch. We have a tiny little overhang on a 20 x 15 slab that would make a nice greenhouse/porch if the entire thing was covered and had some nice panels for plenty of sunlight but still protect us from rain. Still working on hubby, lol. That is a very cool sunlflower. No wonder you wanted to save seeds so bad. I would try it anyway. You never know I guess until you do.

This is what I would do. I might even take "just her" out of school on one particular day, and I would arrange it ahead of time with her teacher on a day when little was happening. And I would tell her that, say that on Tuesday (or what ever day you choose) is _______ day. (insert her name). Tell her on that day, she is going to have a special day. You are not rewarding bad behavior, but instead, getting her back on track with your family. It would be a day when just the two of you go out to a special lunch. You go for a long walk while the other kids are in school. You hand her a piece of paper that says "pass" on it, and tell her that this special paper gives her the opportunity to say and talk about whatever she wants to say. Even if it "hurts" for you to hear...let her get it out. And simply listen...really, really listen, and try not to be defensive, etc. Let her talk about what is on her heart, and about her time with her mother. Just let her get it out, and bite your tongue as best you can, as she tells you things you may or may not want to hear. I am imagining that since you and your DH have custody of her, and that her mother moved out of state away from her child, that this "mother" is not mother of the year. Was this young girl "safe" while with her mother? Could something have "happened" or do you simply think that it is as simple as her mother bad mouthing you and your DH, to try and make herself look better in her daughters eyes? Could the slowness be depression or profound discouragement and hopeless feelings created by a mother who "chooses" to be absent from her little girls life? Could it be a young girl who struggles internally with the conflicts over the disappoint with who this mother of hers really is, and not understanding these feelings or how to cope with them? Let her talk about the good, the bad and the ugly. And then you will know what she is struggling with, and what is creating the problems. Some of the problems may go away, simply because she is able to talk about them and get them out, and not keeping them inside creating havoc. I would work with her so that the feelings she is experiencing do not take hold and turn into anger, rage, and all that can make a teenager so difficult. Yes, part of the behavior is part of being 11. And yet, this young girl has more going on than that. Most cannot imagine their "mother" abandoning them at such an age. I remember reading about the actress Meg Ryan whose mother did this, and the pain this caused the actress for years. How she will have no relationship with this mother who abandoned her as a young girl. It might also be the time to talk to her about the "facts of life" and I love the idea of a special box filled with girl goodies, like feminine products, deodorant, lip gloss, etc, for you and she to anticipate and acknowledge the changes that will be coming in the next year or two. IMO, you can get a lot more of what you want from her with honey (understanding) than with anger and punishment. ***I want to add that depending on her fathers personality and relationship with his daughter, all of this might be better if her dad does this with with his young daughter. He might better be able to discuss the things on her heart regarding her mother (and the disappointments) the divorce from her mother, the behavior of her mother, and perhaps some of the things her mother may have told her. If you both decide that your husband should open up these lines of communication with his daughter, tell him to listen...listen...and listen and let her simply "talk" and get all of this out. Sometimes, feeling really "heard and understood" can relieve feelings of depression, etc. But to me, what this child needs more than anything is to talk and work through some of what she must be feeling about her mother, and the disappointment in her, and the guilt for being disappointed, and the realization deep down of who this mother of hers really is, and her lack of presence in her daughter life. Is she the oldest? Does she have a natural sibling that lives with her, or are the other children in the house yours, or children you and her father had together, after getting married? I guess to help you feel compassion, instead of frustration and anger with her, is to try and understand her. Can you imagine if your own parents had divorced, and you went to live with your father and his new wife. And your mom just moved away, out of state for either a job, or a lover, and you were left behind? Even though your dad's new wife might be nice enough, there would still be a struggle over why your mom moved away, and left you. Ya know? I think you are doing a good job in trying to help this young girl, and trying to work with her, and understand her struggles. This is just my take on the whole thing. And last, because she struggles in school, can you find something that she is good at, and encourage her in this area, so that she feels good about herself. For example, is she creative and can you help her to learn to choose recipes and cook special meals once a week for the family. Make sure that the other children in the family are positive about her efforts. She could watch the cooking show and try making a simple dinner, letting her do most of it but you being nearby to lend a hand here and there, but give her all of the credit and make a big deal out of her efforts. Or a sport, etc., so that she builds good feelings about herself. It must be hard to be the one in school who struggles so, because there are always those "perfect" girls who are so bright and their parents make sure they are on top. Perhaps you could explain to her that every one has gifts, and where she may struggle in one area, she may excel in another. And the students who are so bright, will have other areas where they have struggles others may not know about. That some may be great in math, but find vocab a struggle. others may find vocab a breeze, but struggle with math. Anyway, help her find something to feel good about, because a mother's abandonment can set her up right off the bat to feel bad about herself. Anyway, hang in there, and I applaud your efforts at helping this young girl!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU EVERYONE for your hugs and words of encouragement. I'm feeling much better today. My dog is fine today-I think she has a delicate stomach. I try to feed her only dog food, and then in small amounts, never cold. I plan to go with my daughter to her next doctor appointment and shee what can be done. Maybe a referral to a gastroenterologist? I have to explain about the 640 chairs. It's kind of a funny story. Dad worked as a janitor the last ten years of his working life. He worked in Kleinhans Music Hall in Buffalo, a place where The Philharmonic Orchestra , rock groups, and other musicians would play concerts. Part of his job was to clean up after shows. He would come home with hats, scarves, pieces of jewelry (nothing expensive), sunglasses, even combs and brushes. Barry Manilow played there once and left unopened bottles of wine in his dressing room so Dad brought them home. Mom would make him throw out the combs and brushes, but she let him keep most of the stuff. From what I could figure, the Music Hall occasionally threw old chairs away, so Dad must have taken them out of the garbage. Why, I don't know, but he grew up in the Great Depression, where you never threw anything "good" out because it might come in handy someday. Dad passed in 1998 and Mom never got around to cleaning out his stuff. So when she died this January it fell to my brother to get rid of everything. I know my brother tried to donate the chairs but they were bent or rusty, so no one would take them. Just like all the expired food items he found in her cupboards. Would you like some General Foods International Coffee from 1991?