If one door closes and another window opens, then your house is haunted and you need to run.

The difference between a comma and a coma is the length of the pause.

Feeling guilty about your kids having too much screen time? Just mute and put the captions on. Boom. They're reading.

Looks like Maxine's dog's getting cross-eyed/confused/perplexed ... ... relating to whether there may be enough to cover (some? enough?) dog food? o j