After living with the (boring) neutrals that were in the house when we moved here 15 years ago, we just finished painting all of our upstairs rooms and I love all the colors. Hard to pick a favorite, as each was chosen to go with the light and furnishings in that particular room. What I probably love most is the Atrium White trim and how it plays nicely with all of the somewhat intense colors we chose. All have LRVs around 30: Louisburg Green, Van Cortland Blue, Richmond Gold, Summerdale Gold are all lovely. In the bath, which gets lots of western light and has bright white fixtures and shower curtain, we went more intense with Philipsburg Blue. I couldn't be happier.

"By bringing up the past you are doing nothing but trying to deflect BM's faults and focus the heat on J's past." Doodle, that is NOT what I am trying to do. Once again you have misunderstood, perhaps I have not been clear enough. J's past is BM's past. They are not separate. They had an unspoken, or spoken? agreement that doing drugs was ok. They had kids, and it was ok. Then J got clean and all of a sudden it's not ok. Well, it never really was. She's taking longer, and she's gone further than he did. Her behavior is not excusable. It should not be tolerated. J deserves credit for taking control of his life and becoming a stable parent. The children deserve a stable home. You both are doing great by providing that for her. But your vitriol can be damaging too. Children are not stupid. They will know something is going on, and they may question deep inside why their loving Doodle "hates" their mom. What is going on can create a lot of conflicting emotions for a child. "I understand you feel sorry for poor BM." Nope. I don't feel sorry for her. But I have a hard time garnering any sympathy for J either. The ones I feel sorry for are the girls. When I say I can't get behind bashing her, that's what I mean. I don't think bashing her is the answer. It doesn't mean I think she's in the right (I don't) or that she should see the children (I don't) or that you are doing the wrong thing (I don't). What I do think is that she has an illness, she is dying, and whatever you can do to facilitate the relationship between her and her children will better serve the children in the long run. I see sending pictures as a good way to keep the connection open without direct contact. You are angry. You have a right to be angry. I would be angry too. I could be way off base. It's totally possible. But given the information you've shared, I stand by my opinion that sending pictures that they've drawn and school work that they've done is no more opening the door than giving Grandma your phone number and having her relay things back and forth. If you were really cutting off, you would not be speaking to anyone who is supportive of her actions. In your OP you state that "I guess we are going to have to break it down for Grandma that her daughter does nothing but cause chaos when there is any kindof contact. We would rather just go on like she doesn't exist." Why, oh why, hasn't this been explained before? Seems like that would be something you would say the first time so everyone knows exactly what your position is and why. You say you "would rather just go on like she doesn't exist.". I don't think that's healthy for the girls. They will need good stories about their mom, good things that they can hold onto because she DOES EXIST. And she is THEIR MOTHER. Deserving or not. Give the girls whatever you can in terms of good things about their mom. Ask her mom for stories about when she was little. Good things. They will be curious. Even if you don't tell them, write those things down. Someday they will want to know.

Bruton White would pair beautifully with your flooring. It is very close in Value to Gray Owl but contains less innate greenness, moving it further back into the Yellow Hue Family where it sits at 95.33° in comparison to Gray Owl’s location of 107° on our Color Wheel. As always, it still needs testing with a large chip or moveable sample in your space. In balanced light it will appear as a bright, greyed ‘knocked-back‘ member of the Yellow Hue Family. It may show a suggestion of green in certain light, due to its location and in some spaces possibly even hint blue, but certainly not in every setting. And it will be less inclined to either of those moods in comparison to Gray Owl, which sits much closer to the Yellow-Green Hue Family. Bruton White has a point more Chroma than Gray Owl which makes it that bit less gray too. So I think it would be a great choice with your flooring but I can’t comment on how it might pair with the cabinetry as I don’t recall seeing those, sorry. 🤔

Busy day tomorrow, so I thought I would offer some ideas for your bathroom wall colors. Impossible to tell much from these photos but I don’t like any of those grays for your bathroom. So I picked out two whites I suggest you get samples for. Trying to make all those gray tones in your level 4 V Stone (4 being most variable colorations) is darn near impossible. So here is mock up (very bad coloring on my iPhone but two colors. SW Extra White and Behr Ultra Extra White could work well and be nice from and with bedroom color too. See what you think.