Maybe you weren't datin' when you were in Dayton, wildchild, so it wasn't some of the furniture in your thinking house. ole joyful

An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?' The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.' Rusty

I took my cat to the beach. . . . (Not really, I don't have a cat.) Rusty

Well I got a surprise last week when I left for my aunt's around 11am to meet up with a contractor she had hired (she's 92 and wanted someone else there). They told us they would be there at noon....well by 1:30pm no one, so I called. "Oh, I said 2pm", yeah right. I know the difference between the words "noon and 2pm". Anyway, I didn't leave her house until 3:30pm. When I got home, the two outside cats came running to meet me, followed me into the house. When I finally sat down to relax, one cat immediately climbed onto my lap. The other bigger cat was determined to sit on my lap too. Since there was no room, he gingerly inched his way onto my chest and laid right there! I never saw them act this way. It was like I had been gone for days. lol