Wedding attire question

last year

last modified: last year

The wedding is in mid-November in Upstate NY. It is going to be classic and beautiful (the invitations were wrapped with a dark green velvet ribbon and a monogrammed wax seal.) Black tie optional on the invitation, but gowns are requested on the wedding website. No problem, I love wearing gowns. It will be at a country club.

I've gone shopping in my closet and have narrrowed it down to these two options. Both fit perfectly and are lovely. I feel great in each one. Both go to the floor on me. The floral is princessy while the black is fitted and probably more sophisticated. I've worn the floral one once to a an early fall wedding and everyone loved it. The black one was gifted to me by our lovely Mtn and I think of it as my Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) dress as I made a donation there to thank Mtn. I've never worn the black one.

Shoes, bags, etc are basically already done. Same with shawls, jackets, etc. Hair will be brushed, lol. I probably won't bother to get it styled that day. Minimal make up--probably just mascara.

So, here are the dresses: The floral is by ElizaJ and the black one is by Karl Langerfeld.

Here is the back of the floral (the bow is supposed to go in front, but it gets too fussy for me having it there. It feels more classic in the back.)

And here is a close up of the beautiful details of the SPLC dress:

what do you all think? Floral or SPLC?

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mtnrdredux_gw

last year

last modified: last year

Yes, it was for her harp performance. DD has a lot of very lovely formalwear!

I love the style of the floral dress. Those are always my fave because I think the neckline frames one's face so beautifully; and isn't that the real job of a dress? To make us gorgeous?

But I think it is fun to wear something new. Bring them both and choose whichever strikes your fancy when you are there? I don't think it is similar enough to a dress worn at a smaller event the day before for it to matter. In fact you many consider yourself "on theme." LOL

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Comments (44)

Jilly
last year
Both gorgeous, and I love them both equally, but my vote is the SPLC for this wedding.

Honestly, you cannot go wrong with either. They’re stunning!
rubyclaire
last year
Both dresses are beautiful but I am casting my vote for the SPLC dress. There isn't a wrong choice between these two lovelies!
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Consider yourselves fortunate that you can get something altered down. I am 5' 11" and before back surgery I was 6'. You can't add length. As far as shoes, It is just as impossible to find a 9.5 narrow (the size I wore pre kids) and now an 11 shoe, as it is to find a small shoe, but more and more manufacturers are adding larger sizes in shoes to accomodate for the change in society. Stuart Weitzman was my go to shoe too Flo. One of the few designers that made a 9.5 narrow shoe at the time. You would have loved working in the shoe department at Nordstroms. The small feet gals were given all the sample sizes and the designers would come in and talk about their shoes and give them samples too. Ferragamo especially. I was so jealous!
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deegw
last year
They both look awesome, I think we need pics of you modeling the dresses :)
dedtired
last year
last modified: last year
Love the splc for this occasion. Will it be the same guests as weddings where you wore the floral? Is so, even more reason to wear the black dress.

Seriously, just flip a coin. Either would be wonderful.
Tina Marie
last year
They are both beautiful dresses, but since you haven't worn the black one yet, why not go with it? One little suggestion: especially with black, I would wear just a bit more make-up. I don't know how to word it, but you want to look the occasion, the whole package, not just your dress. I would do very light makeup, just to accentuate, and a bit of color on your lips.
Sueb20
last year
Agree, both are gorgeous!

Who else is feeling bad that Mtn didn’t give them dresses??
User
last year
Agree that both are lovely, but I too would go with the SPLC for this event.
Irish2
last year
Two beautiful gowns! My vote for the event is also the SPLC black Lagerfeld.
rubyclaire
last year
@Sueb20 I have three upcoming weddings and I received NOT A SINGLE DRESS from Mtn. Not to mention any accessories.
nicole___
last year
last modified: last year
SPLC. That is one gorgeous dress! The little floral whirls are over the top cool!
Zalco/bring back Sophie!
last year
I think we have seen a picture of you in the floral. You look amazing in it. I have a thing about cut out flowers, so SPLC would be my choice.
eld6161
last year
My vote is for the SPLC because you haven't worn it yet.

ETA please dont get me started on dresses.......:(
jojoco
Original Author
last year
Lol about the provenance of the SPLC dress. As I recall, Mtn posted about it several years ago. She bought it for her daughter to wear while playing in concerts (the harp, maybe? Or cello) . Anyway, her daughter ended up with something else and Mtn was offering it to all of us. I used great restraint (just like my china cabinet--oh, wait.) and didn't jump on it. When NO ONE else asked for it, I said "yes, please." Mtn was only asking that the recipient make a donation in return. Thus the SPLC name for the dress.

No one at the wedding has seen either dress, but I'm leaning towards the SPLC one. I didn't mention it, but DH also prefers that one.

As far as make up--I really only own mascara. I would consider lipstick if the shade is muted and if it doesn't have a taste (in my limited lipstick-wearing experience, lipstick tastes funny to me.)

Open to suggestions.
Tina Marie
last year
I'm glad you didn't take offense at my comments on make-up. You are lovely, but to me dressing up calls for going all the way, accessories, hair, make-up, etc. I'm not one for alot of make-up but I am fair. I need a bit of lip color or I can look washed out. I can remember my mom telling me "put on some lipstick!" LOL I would do a bit of eyeliner and I like to brush a bit of eyeshadow in taupe shade over my liner to soften it and it also helps it last. I use a touch of blush and then my favorite is a lipstain or a long wearing lipcolor that kind of "stains" your lips. You don't need alot of it doesn't need to be reapplied. That and your mascara!
blfenton
last year
Compared to the wedding where you wore the floral (you posted a picture and looked beautiful) I had the short version of it and loved it but never got a chance to wear it.

Anyway - comparing the two weddings - will the upcoming wedding feel more sophisticated? If so, definitely the black.
1929Spanish-GW
last year
Here’s another alternative…wear the floral and send the black to me? heeheehee

Seriously, the black is perfection for this formal event.
Kswl
last year
OMG the Lagerfield dress, please please! And post a picture of yourself in it! That dress is drop dead gorgeous! I may actually have drooled on my ipad.
Eileen
last year
I personally would say flowers for fall and the black for a big event or special occasion, like New Year's Eve.
pricklypearcactus
last year
I vote for SPLC for a few reasons. First, you haven't had a chance to wear it yet so this is a great opportunity. Second, my personal taste veers more towards that style of dress so that's the one I would choose. I also agree with the sentiments expressed that if the wedding seems more sophisticated, the SPLC dress will be better as well. But really, both look lovely so there is probably is no wrong answer.

I pretty much only ever wear mascara as well. But for a formal event, I do think it's nice to put on some more makeup if you can. I really like Laura Mercier and had a makeup artist teach me some techniques a few years ago. Good quality makeup and proper application really helped me feel like I could actually wear makeup for formal events without feeling like I wasn't myself. (My true self tends towards a more natural state with just mascara.) Unfortunately I haven't done so for about 6 years now. I wonder if I can find someone to give me a refresher course. lol
nini804
last year
They are both gorgeous! What time if day is the wedding? If evening/night, I’d definitely go with the black dress. If it’s one of those formal day weddings, I might slightly favor the floral…but I imagine it’s evening. Daytime in November isn’t really the best daytime, lol. You will be stunning!
jojoco
Original Author
last year
It's an evening reception. The wedding is several hours earlier. Now that I think of it, I should probably wear a short dress to the wedding. Dang. I really don't want to go dress shopping. Back to my closet;.
Funkyart
last year
Looks like the decision is made but i concur with the SPLC dress.. that said, I also love the floral ballgown!
jojoco
Original Author
last year
Back on the fence. The wedding is for the daughter of one of my best friends. When I asked for her opinion, my friend offered that she prefers the floral but that both are beautiful. The SPLC dress is also slightly similar to the dress she is wearing to the rehearsal dinner the night before. Different nights and all, so it doesn't really matter. But all that aside, the dress she is wearing to the rehearsal dinner is the most beautiful dress I think I have seen in a long time. I just had to show you all. (and yes, I forgot we're going to the welcome party too...another outfit!)
Jilly
last year
Oh, that is gorgeous!
rubyclaire
last year
I agree - that green dress is spectacular!
HU-787167202
last year
Always go with color. The black is too somber.
teeda
last year
I can't decide between the dresses--both are beautiful. But I just love that you donated to the SPLC. One of my top charities, and I used/shared so many of their educational materials in my work.
Arapaho-Rd
last year
last modified: last year
S P L C

The green dress is gorgeous!
maddielee
last year
Both of your options are beautiful.

The green dress your friend has looks like its from Mac Duggal? Mac D has beautiful designs, and also happens to have a pretty good sale going on right now. (For those who may need a pretty gown.)
localeater
last year
I love the SPLC dress, it is very sophisticated. But….. there will be a sea of women in black dresses. I vote floral.
salonva
last year
Everything is gorgeous. I really think either one will be terrific but I will echo that if you do wear the black you should defintely try some lipstick. ( I use Cover Girl Outlast which truly does last many hours and doesn't come off or taste at all waxy. Just saying. Oh and it costs like $8 now with inflation and all.).

That green dress is incredible. Where did she get it ?? The very few reheassal dinners I have seen were not quite so formal- do people get that dressed up for rehearsal dinners? Whatever, it's a stunner.

Can we vote on your shows and bag next?
Annie Deighnaugh
last year
I think they are both lovely. I'll ask the question though...the SPLC dress seems narrower...will you be dancing? I always want more movement in my skirts if I'm dancing, so that woud help me decide which way to go.
lobby68
last year
I vote the black dress. It deserves a chance to come out and play! I have a wedding next month in Brooklyn that I've bought three dresses for and none feel perfect. I LOVE that green dress!!!
maire_cate
last year
I vote for the black dress too. But since you posted your friend's gorgeous dress I can see why you might hesitate. You are a being a kind and considerate friend to consider her opinion.
texanjana
last year
Both dresses are gorgeous, but I vote for the SPLC one. It sounds like the wedding festivities will be lots of fun.
Funkyart
last year
I like Mtn's idea of taking both and deciding which you feel like at the moment.. I know some days I feel like a ballgown and some days I want to be sleek and sultry!
legomom23
last year
All three of those dresses are gorgeous! I wish I had somewhere to wear something like that :)
OutsidePlaying
last year
Such pretty dresses posted here. I love both, jojoco. I was actually leaning toward the floral for a November wedding, but both are stunning. The SPLC is so very elegant, you cannot go wrong with it. I like the advice to take both and see how you feel that day. The green and black dress your friend is wearing for the rehearsal dinner is gorgeous.
colduphere
last year
Both of your dresses are beautiful and i love the green dress your friend is wearing. Since we are all enjoying this parade of dresses can you show us a picture of the dress your friend is wearing to her daughters’s wedding? Pretty please?
Elizabeth
last year
I prefer the Eliza J floral. I never wear white to a wedding as that color is for the bride only and black is for funerals. Though your black dress is NOT funereal.
arcy_gw
last year
This is silly. Wear both. One to the ceremony one to the reception. It's all the rage.
Kswl
last year
I think people do that with two different types of dresses, Arcy. Often the second dress is much less formal, a different color, style or hem length. Jojoco’s two gowns are too similar for a change from one to the other to say anything except I couldn’t make up my mind 🙂
jojoco
Original Author
last year
The ceremony is at 2 pm the reception is at 5:30. i would feel silly wearing a formal gown to the church ceremony.

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