Do you do things as your parents or others taught you, or differently?
Elmer J Fudd
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Do you know of a species that is different from its parents?
Comments (10)sarahsflowers, (I want to find a symbol of or a metaphor for "You don't necessarily have to be like your parents".) In my opinion you are trying to establish a genetic-type example of a behavior-type relationship or absence of it; and I am unsure that it can be done convincingly. However, 'sporting' or 'bud sporting' may provide your example. A close look at a hedge of variegated hibiscus is sure to provide one or two examples of a shoot sporting green. But even this can be viewed as the plant reverting to its original coloration. I have been told that the camellia is quite rewarding in its ability to sport blooms of a different color but I have no first hand experience of this. The more I think of it, the more I feel that the laws and postulates of Genetics tend to support more the statement that "the apple does not fall far from the tree"....See MoreWhat Age do you visualize your parents?
Comments (23)Great thread! I am thankful that I still have both of my parents, and the are for the most part, in decent health. Yes, DF has suffered some cardiac problems as he has aged which have slowed a man who lived to coach softball. First with co-workers and until the most recent problem, a senior softball league. He now goes occasionally to watch, but despite the cardiologist leaving it up to him as to whether to participate, he has chosen not to play. He has his routine that starts at 4 a.m. Works out at home each morning after he has breakfast and reads his newspaper. Very good from a mental standpoint, loves to talk current events, history, politics, etc. He also opens and closes the pool each summer and tends a rather significant amount of tomato plants. DF still does his own lawn and home maintenance as he always has. My DM is in seemingly very good health for her age. With the exception of problematic arthritis and sciatica which have caused her to lessen her spring/fall "housecleaning" regimen. I always thought that whole exercise to be nuts, personally, but that's how things were done in her family for generations. A total tear apart every room twice a year for a "deep" cleaning. While she still attempts to do it, I usually will set aside a couple of days each spring and fall to give her a hand with things that she cannot physically do. lol DM still gets together with her high school girlfriends once a month either for lunch or dinner. When I compare her to her friends, only one other of her friends is in as good of shape as DM. The others aren't concerned with keeping themselves up to date with regard to their attire or hair. My DM would die before she would put on a pair of elastic wasted polyester pants. No offense to anyone here who may enjoy those. DM just doesn't. She hasn't ever been one to drive on major highways, so the fact that she continues not to do so, is nothing new. I make a point of getting her out for clothes and holiday shopping when I am able to tolerate a trip to the mall. DM and I go to the same hair salon. I am sure her highlights and reverse color hide the small amount of grey that she has. Together with keeping up with current short hair styles she looks much younger than her actual age. DM dresses everyday, Pal your mentioning your mom and her shoes - just in case, definitely made me smile. My parents keep a theatre package, attending 6 or so shows per season. Go out for dinner at least once a week. Also, they cook and eat well. They love to take advantage of the senior bus trips available to them in our area. One thing that I've noticed is that my DF seems more hesitant about long distance driving, thus enjoying the bus trips. It is hard for me to pinpoint an age at which I see them. Perhaps it is because I see them so often, at least twice a week. I pop in to take a new dish I've tried or drop off some fresh produce from the farmstand. Really, I don't need much of a reason to visit, I just enjoy doing so, and it allows me to keep an eye on them. Have to say that I have enjoyed reading everyone's stories about their parents. Also, this particular thread has accentuated my good fortune in still having my parents as they are in their early 80's. So, if I had to put an age that I visualize them, I guess I would have to put it at between 55-60. Funny because I am now 50!...See MoreThings to Do For Elderly Parents When You Visit for the Holidays
Comments (16)I think others covered a lot but you say" over Christmas" so are there beds to be made up, linens to be washed, bathroom to be spruced up, fridge needing to be cleaned out, especially of outdated bottles & food in containers. Cooking for elderly doesn't have to be difficult. I often buy a couple of yams & cook in microwave(wash & poke skin with fork in several places so doesn't explode) when done cool yams & cut in serving size pieces (I remove skin but some like it) & put in sandwich bags(kind that just fold over & put in Ziploc bag & label with date & what is in the bag. I store, yams, green beans, squash, bread stuffing, etc & I never thaw anything out. I make soups & put in small round margarine tubs each holds 1 cup (So leave a little space so doesn't boil over when you make them up)so take lid off to side(so just partly covered) & reheat about 3 1/2 minutes. Chili same way, yams couple of slices about 1 minute(microwaves vary) just add butter to serve. I make a meatloaf in a 9x5 loaf pan & freeze slices in amount I think I will eat in sandwich bags & then in Ziploc bag & can have hot meatloaf sandwich in 1 minute or meatloaf, yams, green beans in about 3 minutes. it's very easy to eat well. Leftover steak from eating out, bring it home & pkg it in sandwich bags & in Ziploc bag for 1 or2 meals in few days. Couldn't eat that big baked potato, cut it in sizes you will eat at 1 time & slip in sandwich bags, zip loc bag& freeze, I simply fold over the sandwich bags or twist & fold over before putting in freezer Ziploc bags. Can use cheaper Zip loc type bags or wash & reuse, throw out the sandwich bags after food is heated. Use Sharpie pen to label Zip loc bags & use up foods in couple of months to 6 months. Spaghetti mixed with sauce & meat, macaroni, casseroles, scalloped potatoes & ham, all freeze great in single serving sandwich bags & reheat in microwave in about 3-4 minutes at most. I did this for my folks for years. If you can't cook & like something like hamburger helper made it up & freeze. I cook chicken breasts & use half of them for sandwiches & rest becomes chicken soup, so make ways to make it, with noodles, rice, cook bag of mixed veggies up in microwave & add whole thing including water you cooked veggies in &add seasonings, can add low sodium tomatoes from can of tomato sauce, mushrooms from can or barley etc. Lots of choices. Anyway hope you are well armed with ideas to make things go smoother. Merry Christmas to All!...See MoreDo you feel like your life is better than your parents?
Comments (38)In a way, yes, in other ways, about the same. Financially, about the same. I have a happy marriage with a great DH and we've had quite a few fun adventures together. My parents had a very happy marriage, albeit with less adventure, just way too short. They never had a mortgage on their home and always bough cars with cash. Dad was what I would call a "gentleman farmer" in the sense that he ran the farm and other ancillary operations from an office and Mom, with a fine college education, was a stay at home Mom until Dad died far too young, at 52, leaving Mom a widow at 44. While Mom would have preferred graduate school, instead she stepped in and ran the farm and excelled. She was the first woman on a number of agriculturally related boards and not just local small time ones either. While she enjoyed the challenge, especially in a male dominated world, and loved our small farming town, I also think she was trapped by the circumstances. Her plan was for my brother to take over the farm completely after 8-10 years at which time she planned on going back to graduate school, but my brother never got around to taking over the operations (I don't know any other way to put it, he's smart and knows the land well and will work hard on something that interests him, but he never developed the stick-to-it day to day work ethic). While this was going on, I went to law school and then got my LLM. Mom ran the farm until her seventies, but by that time we rented out all our land. Unfortunately about 8 years ago the farm started going down hill financially, most income was going to debt service, and at the same time Mom was developing AMD. Our banker and accountant realized that that something needed to be done to save the farm and came to me and suggested that we move to professional management. Mom saw that this was the right move, but my brother was resistant although eventually went along with it without a family fallout. That was a tense time, but he liked the bank management/manager and was not cut out of some control especially with marketing the crops, which is his forte,and now agrees that it was a good decision, actually I think it was a relief. We also sold off about 30% of the land, which was enough to retire all debt and pay the capital gains (basis was from the 1930s, so ridiculously low), with a bit to spare. The farm, though smaller, is doing very well, throwing off nice income to the three of us, while retaining a contingency fund, so all is well, and it's still a nice legacy even after selling a bit of the land, it is now a bit over 5000 acres total, cropland and timber. DH and I are both professionals and have had fairly successful careers. I am a lawyer, a partner in a great law firm, and DH is a dentist, who sold his practice when we recently moved. We are both scaling back. I am staying with my firm, working remotely, with regular trips back to the office for a couple of weeks every few months as the need arises. DH lucked into a two day a week job as an independent contractor with a good dental practice in our new location. We will probably continue to work along these lines for another 2-4 years. We have a wonderful, responsible daughter and son-in-law and a precious grandson. I think we will be better off than Mom in our later years, not so much financially because she is in great shape (she also had some money of her own and was a good investor), but because we planned ahead. She had planned to stay in her large house in the small town for the rest of her life. However that became impossible for her to manage. She moved to independent living in the city where I worked last year and now she moved to Colorado with us, living at a wonderful independent living center less than 5 minutes from us and I can go see her everyday. She seems content and loves having me so nearby, but it is hard to move to a new state and town at 86. We built our retirement house, actually a duplex, at 62 with (for) our DD and SIL, near all essential services and making it easy to maintain. As we age it will be easy for our DD to check on us as necessary, just pop over for five minutes and then go back to her regularly scheduled life. But, for now, DD also has a built in babysitter much of the time. If at anytime as we age we need more help than I am willing to ask from our DD, we can easily hire a caregiver for far less than Mom's place costs on a monthly basis and still stay at home (at least if our health is as good as Mom's is right now)....See MoreElmer J Fudd
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