If you can't say something nice, at least make it funny.

If life shuts a door in your face, open it again. It's a door, that's how they work.

Your first year as a property manager VS your 10th year dealing with all the nut jobs renting your houses....(found posted on a landlord forum)

Because our 2 Australian Shepherds like to drink out of the toilets, we habitually keep the seat down and covered in our first floor bathroom. It's very, very rare that my DH leaves the seat up but it's such a horrible feeling to sink down into it in the middle of the night...