Hello all... thanks for all the kind words. I am still trying to struggle through the day. Somedays I am ok, but others not that great. It was her birthday on October 20th. She would have been 64 or "39" as she would have said. We went to the park and fed the ducks... she always liked to do that. I also brought daisys and popped the tops off and placed them in the water. I miss the way that I would call her and she would be willing to go with me on what ever adventure I wanted to go on that day. She was always there for me. I know I am lucky to have a person like that and that it was my Mom, but it hurts no less. I am trying to build a new "normal". It is rough though because everything I do reminds me of her. I started to move around furniture in our house and I was thinking that everything I touched we bought together. She was a great decorator and I have no decorating sense at all. I just wonder when the feeling that I am completly lost and alone will go away. The holidays are coming and I hate it. I think we are going to plan a vacation at Christmas so I don't have to think about it. I don't know about Thanksgiving. Mom used to make the best mashed potatoes. This is so freaking hard. I think I am going to check into counseling again. It is so hard because I put on a strong face when I am out, but crumble when I get to my car or at home. I talk to my husband, but I don't think he really understands. What do you all do for the holidays?? Any ideas on how to get through them?

Oh thank you all so much. I just found out he has some internal injuries, some broken bones, his right hand was crushed. I think they were going to operate on the hand today. Hope they can fix the hand, he said "cops need their gun hand"....... It could have been so much worse. He is a nice, man, and a good provider.

I would think twice about painting the risers--mine always get scuff marks. I much prefer the look of white (without scuffs) risers, but if I knew that mine were always going to get scuffed I would have considered wooden risers. I would first try painting the spindles and see if that gets you what you want.

Hi Trin, I will certainly keep you, and your friend and her family in my thoughts any prayers. This very thing happened to a very close friend. He actually had a seizure in my front yard - I just held him in my arms and it was over just as quickly as it started. The lung cancer was just a very small piece of it. He had surgery and all seemed to be OK. Shortly thereafter, the brain tumor returned - it was a very aggressive form of cancer that he could not overcome. It was almost exactly a year after the initial seizure. He was such a strong person - physically, mentally and emotionally. It was such a shock to see that happen. I can imagine how you must feel. I am really so very sorry. Sending hugs your way, kiddo. gneegirl