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I guess I look like a horse.....

2 months ago

So there I was, at work, doing my nightly walk. Minding my own business, listening to Christmas Music to combat the stifling misery of the heat and humidity of this time of year. Suddenly, something flies right by my head. Not an unusual occurrence this time of year. Tis the season for pests, after all. I think nothing of it until I feel a slight itch on my back. I continue walking. Tis the season for skin irritation too. For me anyway, heat makes me itchy. I only have about 20 minutes left to get my 15000 steps. The annoying itch on my back intensifies, until it becomes an intense STING! What the WHAT is that??!?!? I reach back, to the upper part of my back where the sting is, and feel something. EEEEEEEEWWW there is something ON ME! I pull it off and throw it away, thinking I am done with it. You got your sting in, now go on about your business and I will go about mine. But no. No no no......this thing CHASES ME DOWN, and proceeds to dive bomb me, trying to bite me over and over, sending me running back inside my building.

Well, I am not a weak little PUNK. I am not scared of a BUG. I grab my pink swatter and go back out, I have steps to achieve! I still do not expect this thing to return. But here it comes, attacking me. I swing wildly with my swatter, trying to scare it away, and it works.......for about 10 seconds, then it comes back, so I feel like I have given it enough chances, SMACK and STOMP! Bye!

Meanwhile, my brave, valiant coworkers in the plant are watching me on the cameras do my kung fu swinging at this thing repeatedly, and finally they appear because they are curious as to WHAT I was swinging at. Also, they wanted to razz me about the little dance I did (think reverse running man) after I killed it. Most stinging insects, especially aggressive ones are not active at 2 in the morning. ( they ASSURED me that if I were in true danger, they would have come, swords blazing to my rescue)

A horse fly. A huge, ugly horsefly bit me through my shirt and left a huge, unattractive welt. That has never happened before and I was glad it was over and I was also glad that it wasn't a wasp or some other sort of nesting creature that might have friends and family nearby.

So, steps gotten, shift over, I go home. I am greeted joyfully by George, who enjoys jumping into my lap as soon as I open my car door every morning when I get home, receives his good morning head scritches, and then he jumps out and demands food. My SO comes and opens the front door for me as always and hands me a can of food and the bag of dry food to put out for the cat. As I am filling the bowls, I hear my SO. "Don't move." he says. So I freeze. "Don't Move" he repeats. "I'm not moving! What's wrong?" I inquire.. I think there is a snake or something. That has happened before. Then, out of nowhere, a now unfortunately familiar sting, followed by a hard SMACK. This time on my butt. Another horsefly! It bit me! ON THE BUTT! And while I appreciate SOs quick action, I did not so much appreciate his decision to vanquish with a rather LARGE rolled up magazine. He could have brushed it off and THEN smashed it like I did. George grabbed the offender off the ground and ran off with it, presumably to finish it off.

I have never before been bitten by such. What are the odds that two separate ones, miles apart on the same day would see fit to make a meal of me??

Now I know NOT to go walking without my swatter.

I hate this time of year. Ready for Fall.

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