Just remembered, when we first moved here we had someone knock on our door on a weekend. We live on 2.5 acres in the back of a 5 acre plot so not on the street. We never get unannounced visitors. The older (70's) couple had an arrangement with the previous owner to pick persimmons. We told them to take as many as they wanted because DH and I don't like persimmons. We even helped them pick them.

They came by for a few years than stopped coming. I don't know why, never really got to know them. But it was nice of them to ask first. For many years now we pick them and put a box at end of the driveway with a free sign. That way we don't have strangers coming up to the house.

If I were in your shoes, I'd tell my adult child to figure it out on their own.

I dislike unnecessarily playing games with other people and make-believe intrigue. If this were my house, I'd dig it up and plant a shrub or two.

Obviosly, that would be cutting off your nose to spite your face if you want rhubarb! I find it a very attractive plant and use it in the landscape.

Post a sign. Keep out! Trespassers will be prosecuted.

No, it would be eliminating a source of needless annoyance. Who cares, it's just a plant. Thousands to choose from. It's a matter of priorities and preferences. It would seem you and some others would rather turn something dumb and meaningless into hours of what, a game and repartee for entertainment?

What happened to ”In a world where you can be anything, be kind”? I’m still amazed at the number of people who are coming across so strongly and hatefully here. Just amazed.

WOW just WOW I too am rather taken aback at the emotions. I was looking for tactful, gentle words that were firm and clear.

To respond to some of the responses...w/o repeating what I initially posted:

#1 Millennials do not 'talk' /call they text or maybe if desperate email. This thief did leave an email address. She did request part of the plant if it were going to be removed. It is not. My daughter has plans for ALL the produce coming off of it. Rhubarb is for sale in all green houses and Big Box stores in this area. This gal seems to be attached to THIS plant. That is ODD!! From what we can glean off the internet she is about 70 something and lives a few suburbs over... I told her to email the gal, tell her no worries but that daughter would appreciate it if it didn't happen anymore, that she has plans for the rhubarb. Daughter does not want this gal over, to get a plant or more stalks she wants her to just stay away.

Sounds like the daughter/homeowner already has a good handle this.

All I can do is commiserate. When I first moved in, the house needed a lot of work. Come to think of it, one of my stipulations was they had to get rid of the trash that was sitting out by the street. Which they did. Shortly after moving in, it happened again. The neighbor on the other side, not the streetside, trying to be friendly, came up to me and told me that it was okay to put trash there because people will come and pick it up. I just looked at him and said "No. I mind. This is my house now and I don't want anything on it that I didn't put there. I'm trying to make the property look nice." He was rather taken aback. Didn't do it again. We continued to be friendly. Just because it was that way, doesn't mean it's going to continue to be that way. Times change 😉

Boy was he a busybody! I'm not exaggerating. After he sold the house, the people that bought it greatly improved it!!! About halfway through, he came over and told them what they needed to do differently????

Kind yet direct and to the point words would be if I were saying them;

Sorry I am planning to use the crop for myself. You will have to seek another source for your rhubarb needs. Good luck and all the best to you.

Good luck to your daughter! All the best to her and congratulations for the excitement of owning her own home! My daughter and her DH bought their home just this last month so the excitement is quite palpable still. The price is astronomical but the excitement is still the top Biller. :)

Put signage on the patch. Like one of them Realtor signs. Say "please do not pick my asparagus" Simple and polite.

Arcy, you are taken aback by the emotion? WOW, JUST WOW. Your words. You are the one who posted all indignant at the "crazy person" who "steals" and what can we do to make sure she doesn't return to purloin more rhubarb, and now everyone is so harsh? Too funny. And you never mentioned she left an email address. Easy solution.

I can't believe how rude of someone to do this! She had to have known it was NOT OK to take plants from her yard knowing the house had changed ownership! That's just ridiculous! I would have been livid if that happened to my plants! I would send the woman a note to please not take any more in the future. Not sure how I would word it but I would not be OK with it! What is she going to take next, her lawn furniture? UGH!

My take on this may be a little different given how many days I've spent visiting in assisted living over the last few years - but I have learned that change may come hard to someone older. And - that every one has something interesting and valuable to offer if you can just find the time for a conversation with them.

If the rhubarb is no longer a shared item, that's fine. Just say so. I don't think summoning up anger would be worth the effort. I'm having doubts the woman meant to offend.

We happen to like rhubarb, but I'm surprised at how many have no interest in it. DH will often ask me to make a take-along rhubarb dessert because he loves it, but I've brought home leftovers too many times to give in to that any more :)

I am blown away by the ire here. Its not the hill I want to die on.

I get this viewpoint here. I have a problem neighbor who has actually walked into homes. He's not mentally right and frankly he has scared folks. Those of who have been very firm have not had the problem again. Those who have been gentle now have a lot of problems.

Zalco, still waiting on my first persimmon, trees are getting bigger though!

Well--I'm just stunned that someone would feel so entitled to continue to raid the rhubarb plant even though her friends were no longer the homeowners--that is REALLY entitled and nervy!

Now--having said that: Last fall we sold our home in Idaho, (late fall) and moved to New Mexico. In our Idaho back yard was a gorgeous clematis which we had grown from a start from my husbands mother's plant. We were just recently in Idaho visiting our old next door neighbors--and I SO wanted to ring the doorbell and ask if I could have a little "snip" from that clematis. But I thought THAT might be a bit "forward", so I restrained myself. It would have NEVER occured to me to do that without asking! Sheeeesh!

Our country is suffering through a deep malaise and this harping on a small, remidiable infraction seems symptomatic to me. All is not lost, more rhubarb will grow, get first hand knowledge about the rhubarb poacher before this endless commentary.

It reminds me of the recent post regarding a new neighbor who wanted to meet the owners of a house they admired. The entire situation proved benign. Maybe we can start out by expecting the best rather than ruminating over the worst and have less fear of our neighbors.

I have lots of people ask me for cuttings from roses from my garden at work. Its no problem....if you ASK. I get very very upset if I see that someone has cut a flower or a branch off of one of my plants without asking. VERY VERY UPSET. Because they are MINE. MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!!!!

I used to plant tomato plants at work but stopped because people kept stealing them. If they had simply asked it would not have bothered me at all. I hate thieves.

Yes there are certainly those who do not see the big deal in stealing something like a plant, and that's fine, let people steal your stuff and be fine with it. But I cannot stand thieves in any form.

I was once told that since I allow people who ask to take something from the garden, its no big deal that people take it without asking, since if I was asked I would say yes. I told them that just because someone knows that I will give them a dollar for the drink machine every time they asked, that does not mean that they can then just go into my wallet and take a dollar whenever they want. Its about respect. Some people do not have that.

As an extra note, I would tell that woman that her background as a missionary certainly explains her thinking that it is okay to go where one is not invited or even welcome and impose on their lives, but that would be extra mean..........

a) I was quite constrained in my response...you should hear me when I find out the deer have been poaching my plants. When it comes to gardening, there's too much effort and promise and potential threats to the plants going in to be accommodating when dealing with 2-legged poachers too.

b) the fact that she's not even a neighbor but from a different suburb is even more disturbing to me. That's even more forward than I'd imagined.

c) if she knew enough to leave the note, then she knew enough to not take it without permission

The property has new owners.

You know this.

No matter what arrangement you had with the old owners it is dead.

This is not hard. It isn't difficult.

New owners, new deal. They dont even know you exist. Dont take their stuff.

The thief? Frankly, I'm floored. Not the hill i'd die on. YMMV

Fits the bill.......

I agree that a calm, no nonsense approach is best.

The owner should send an email: ”Thank you for letting me know you harvested my crop of rhubarb so I can tell you that I love rhubarb, had plans for this crop, and am not interested in sharing my rhubarb at this time. If this situation changes, I will let you know.“ Sincerely, Jane Doe, new property owner.

"Thank you for letting me know what happened to my rhubarb; I'd been waiting to pick it. In the future, please do not take my rhubarb. I will let you know if I have extra to give you."

I get it. About 30 years ago, I lived in a small town...not out in the boondocks where I lived on the bayou, or here. I hybridized waterlilies.

Tropical waterlily seeds are the size of poppy seeds. They aren't difficult to grow (if you know how), but it is quite an effort. More than once I came home to find some missing from one of the above ground tanks, and once someone got in the pond and tried to pull up one growing in the mud.

They are not easy to pull up in mud....you have to go around it and break each root with your finger, and it is still a lot of work.

They mutilated it, but still took it home.

My neighbor saw who did it and told me and I went to their house. It was a huge lily, pads bigger than dinner plates, blooms as big as saucers. It was crumpled and entirely covered their small pond. They hadn't planted it.... didn't know you needed to do that... although there was really nothing to plant, since all they had was the top...crown.

They were apologetic....almost tearful. They wanted to give it back, but it wouldn't live.

It is not that I wouldn't have given them a waterlily. I have given away hundreds of waterlilies. I would have told them how to grow it, and given them a lily of the size suited to their pond....which by the way, I already had given them a potted waterlily and they had managed to kill it with repeatedly putting algaecide in the water and letting water constantly splash on the pads, and I had told them that would kill it.

But don't come steal from me. Hybrids are individual plants. I had no others like them.

The big waterlily was my favorite from the year before. Lost.

Gosh people are quick to condemn. I have assumed NOTHING. I read the note she left so yes I do know she has no reason other than the rhubarb and an afternoon to tootle around and come to this neighborhood and I was using the word thief more as an identifier, can't use her name, 'old lady' isn't much better, but decided as pointed out above it is accurate if a tish harsh. Thanks for your thoughts. It's been handled.

She has no reason to be in the neighborhood except to come steal

I do know she has no reason other than the rhubarb and an afternoon to tootle

she needs to get this crazy person to stay away.

can't use her name, 'old lady' isn't much better

I have assumed NOTHING.

Perhaps not, but you seem to have initially assumed she was there to steal, and was a crazy person, although you did go ahead and modify your descriptions, so perhaps you changed your outlook of the situation and are approaching it differently.

It's been handled.

How did you handle it after you changed your outlook?.

BTW I am not judging, obviously people have different views and feel differently about this issue and whether they see what was done as theft. You yourself seem to have changed your view.

Well, we were asked what we would do after all. Certainly that will garner various types of suggestions. The new homeowner had most likely handled it own her own already. I found a couple answers quite humorous!

I thought of emailing her and telling her it was unfortunate she chose to take my rhubarb without speaking to me first as, for some reason, that is where my dog chooses to pee. I certainly hope you had no ill effects from eating it. :)

Well, since everyone seems to think it's not a big deal and with the way of the world these days, not a biggy...wouldn't even bother them...so from now on when I need some plants I guess I'll just look around the neighborhood and see who has something I need and just go dig it up...no big deal...RIGHT?! UGH! Whatever....

"I'll just look around the neighborhood and see who has something I need and just go dig it up...no big deal...RIGHT?!"

It's no big deal the first time, if it's a perennial and if you leave a note saying you did it. If you do it a second time after I've told you not to.....that's a big deal.

Poor analogy, IMO. A plant was cut back and will regrow. Not the same as being removed entirely.

"Thanks for your thoughts. It's been handled"

What happened?

Wouldn't you like to know 😄

Went through something similar when we lived in NY. Not exactly but what I considered 'trespassing.'

There is no way in hell I would allow someone trespassing on my property without permission unless a delivery from mail, UPS, Amazon.

I would be direct, I wouldn't care how old they were, or any other condition they might suffer from. This is my property and you cannot enter or steal anything without my permission.

I would not be nice at all and would have no problem telling this person to not enter my property again or I would call the police.

Be direct, to the point and no further conversation.

Jane

I just have to go back to the fact that this woman knew the property had sold and yet took it upon herself to take the rhubarb from the new owner who had no way to get her rhubarb back. We will let go of the liability issues of this idiot woman invading some person's property without permission but cant excuse her stealing rhubarb from someone she doesn't know. It is stealing. She does not have permission from the new owner. Why does the new owner have to feel she needs to explain herself to this privileged pillager? Why not threaten her with the law if she persists in her inexplicable behavior? She does not have permission to take rhubarb from the new owner. She knows that. Some one should slap her into sense.

Do not let this persons expectations rule you and don't apologize for being affronted by someone taking something they have no right to. I have tons of rhubarb. I am not a fan. Do not come on MY property and just take my rhubarb.

Just wondering how we know for sure the rhubarb purloiner was aware of the fact the property was under new ownership when she helped herself? Maybe she found out after it was too late, and that's why she left the note?

That is possible, but if so, perhaps along with the note she could have left the harvested rhubarb, there was apparently an email connection, she could have requested an email and returned had she been contacted with subsequent permission to take the rhubarb.

The case of the purloined rhubarb..

MsM, lol!
In my limited experience, thieves usually don’t leave notes with their email addresses.

^^ Or is it a ruse to conceal her secret identity? Stay tuned for the Case of the Purloined Produce.^^^

I would have sent her an email saying pretty much what Mdln said. But i love Elizabeth’s answer, re the dog.

Arcy, You can be polite and still let someone know you are PO’d and their behavior, or in this case their act, is highly unsatisfactory to you.

a sign:

private patch

no trespassing

this means you

“I hope that you enjoyed the rhubarb but ask that you don’t take any in the future as I have use for it myself.” Done. Obviously an unfortunate error of judgment but unless it happens again I see no reason to be more aggressive.

I posted in the very beginning that she should get a dog. Just noticed that comment is gone. Who gets to delete it? And what was ElizabethK's comment regarding a dog?

It is not gone, I just saw it. If you scroll up you will see in green '44 more replies', click on that and you will see it too.

When do we get to find out the solution?

LUCILLE - THANKS.