Hi Creek, I just stopped by to lurk and try to catch up on my friends. Haven't been here in sooo long. I'm glad I saw this. Your post brought back so many memories of trying to help Daddy take care of Mama who had alzheimers. He had a major stroke after my 6 siblings refused to help him and gave him no choice but insisted he put her in a nursing home. I was working full-time (had to- ex had left me DEEPLY in debt), had just married a man with 6 kids still at home, and spent the first 2 years of my new marriage running from work to 2 separate nursing homes trying to see that they each at least got fed ONE meal a day. Daddy had swallowing issues after his stroke. My heart broke DAILY. DH said, "Go- I will be here when you get back and I'm supporting you in any way I can." I've walked a mile in your shoes. I prayed for you before I started typing and will keep praying for you. Forget about the siblings. They will only add to your stress. Act like an only child and don't count on any help from them. Mamma and Daddy died within 18 months of each other and I still miss them terribly after 12 years. But, they are in a better place and I will see them again. The most important advice I can give you in hindsight is: Spend as much time with your parents as you can right now while you still have them. You won't regret it. And pray for strength and endurance. God Bless you, Betty PS- After reading everyone's encouragement, I was reminded why I love y'all so much even when I don't get to come by often. Karen, I'm painting that on my kitchen wall!

Wow, this post sounds really familiar. OMG! Its mineÂ.. First of all, everyone who responded was really helpful to me. I appreciate all your support and great advice. Your words and thoughts all brought me a lot of comfort. Thank you - all you very kind people. And hereÂs what happened. To get to the end first, as I myself hate waiting for the punch line, I did not move. I did put my house on the market though. But first I spent money fixing it up in various ways, such as finally finishing a bathroom. Fixing up all the electrical things I always had intended doing. $$$$. So after 8 years of living with the intention of having a front entryway light, and splitting the outlet/light switch which had been combined, I did all those things. Plus a lot more electric work. This made it nicer for me, but $$$$ which I did not recoup. Based on a post in Buying Selling House forum, I spent oodles of time trying to get grass to grow in my full sun, scorching Maryland climate, red clay front yard which was a major flop. Nevertheless, I spent months doing this and it became a minor obsession. You have no idea. I also spray painted my rusted chain link fence a silver color  major improvement. Then I put my house on the market, kept it pretty clean, rented storage, lived on egg-shells. Of course this was right during the Real Estate flop of last spring/summer. I also occasionally traveled to North Carolina and checked out amazing housing prices there. BUT my little, very nice on the inside, 2 BD/2 BA house did not sell. I would have had to drop the price much lower as the inventory in my area was huge, and 2 bedroom houses would not sell before 3 or 4 bedroom ones. I didnÂt need to move, and saw no reason to cut so far into the "profits dancing in my head" that a move would no longer be financially beneficial. Driving back and forth between Maryland and North Carolina, I also started to understand the value of the family and friends I have in the area. After nearly 3 months on the market, I look my house off. I almost donÂt remember where I planned to go. In September I realized that a co-worker and I could start a creative business which I had always dreamed of. I approached him and we formed a business partnership. We are working on this all the time, and that is my current focus. I am doing things which I hadnÂt planned to do before, such as writing childrenÂs stories while he creates the online characters. There are still many aspects of my life which probably would make me as impatient as I was when I wrote my original post. I mostly donÂt have time to think about them. I am pretty busy with launching a business and learning about all that  itÂs a real baptism by fire. I did get rid of a negative "friend" which has improved my life greatly. And I am a "convert" to The Secret which truly works. The business was totally unexpected, and perhaps if it didnÂt materialize when it did, I would happily be living in Raleigh or someplace in that area. I look forward to enjoying my house and yard this spring and summer. The lovely screened porch, the quiet neighborhood, the improved house, a soon to be successful business (fingers crossed). Life is certainly unexpected.

Clearing the right of way of power, phone, cable TV lines and other overhead utilites was a large part of the bill. Even the trafic lights had to be raised. In some states you can threaten to sue the POCO for obstructing the right of way and make them eat the bill, in others you cannot. Short moves without right of way issues are often surprisingly inexpensive. Another gotcha that occured was a requirement to upgrade all interior systems to the latest code revision. We got zero grandfathering.

Imma - I don't understand!!!! How do mom's do this?? I don't understand why a dad would do it either but I can see that men (no offense) not all men.. Just a lot of men I know... Can be without their kids. They expect they won't have full residential custody, mom's have always kept their kids ... Ya know what I mean? It's becoming more common for men to have either joint custody 50/50 or residential custody but for my whole life I never knew mom's that didnt have their kids. When my dad left my mom, I was 2. My mom had to go to work. I went and 'stayed' at my grandma's for about a year but my mom called every day, many times a day and she got me on the weekends. My grandparents lived too far to just 'keep' me during the day and my mom couldn't afford child care at the time.. It took about 10 months for her to get on her feet financially and to start receiving CS in order to be able to afford it. She didn't walk away from me though. I've been told by my grandma and my brother and sister that it was the hardest thing she ever had to do but it was only temporary and she was THERE. She still provided for me and saw me etc. I would never blame my mom for the hard decision she had to make. I don't even remember it so that was probably the best thing for us at the time. But to move out of state and leave your kids, for another man, NO ONE comes before my kids!! I remember being faced with this same situation because of finances so I made the choice to move back home to my parents so I could still have my daughter full time. I could have let her stay with her dad, moved into a smaller place, paid a little CS which would have been no doubt cheaper than child care but the thought of it made me sick!! I don't get this Dad either. He calls his son every night to say good night?? That's an involved dad!! And to move 1000 miles away! Makes NO sense and if it were me I would be very angry because then I would have to pick up his pieces!! There are many many many times that I want to shout at my Dd 'your dad is an idiot!! He did NOT hang the moon! I hung it for him and I continue to hold it up for him!!' but the mere thought of my dd's heart breaking stops me every time!! If she knew the truth and she knew that her daddy isn't who she thinks he is, she would be devastated. I think most of us normal mom's know that and don't want to be the reason our kids are hurting. Which is what I'm sure your gf feels. Sounds like she puts her son first and his feelings. She has every right to be angry.