I may have also felt as you did. she may have been having a bad day, but I agree with LynnNM. I would very much want to send her a card saying sorry I bothered you about a small thing, I will not again. ( no I would not send it, because that would make me as bad as she.)

If the messaging system goes directly to the doc, I myself might have instead called and spoken to the office staff about this. BUT,

Having said that, my view is that I don't think docs and allied professionals who give "in your face' services as important and personal as medical or dental care, or similar things, are allowed to have a bad day or a bad attitude that patients are made aware of. Sorry, no, I'm not your therapist, your crying towel nor your punching bag. If as your patient I did something wrong, or failed to meet your expectations - tough. That's part of your life and your professional practice, I'm not saying something you don't already know. You experience it daily.

I'd find another one, no question. And I would most certainly send her something - a letter telling her that there was no excuse for her rudeness and you've moved on.

Many/most portal requests for Rx refills, and responses to patients, are handled by the office staff (medical assistants or nurses).

Suspect your physician did not personally write that response.

If you are otherwise happy with the doc, bring a printed copy of the response to your next in person appointment and ask to discuss it.

Your doc seems as sensitive as mine. He complained when I need wax removed from my ears in my a semi-annual exam asking why I don't do it at home with peroxide. I said I don't have the pressurized equipment they have. I previously had two wonderful doctors who I loved. One moved away, the other retired and I do not like the current one for other reasons

Wow, somebody was having a bad day. I bet it came from an office assistant. I think they check the portals.

I wouldn't change doctors because of that. It's hard enough to establish a relationship. And it most likely is staff that wrote the reply. I'd gripe about it for a spell and then set it aside.

I don't think you're too sensitive. I think that was not a professional response. I can understand to a degree their frustration and would guess they were having a lousy day or week but you did not deserve to be "spoken" to like that.

I probably would have responded something not helpful like EXCUSE ME???????

Don't be like me though.

This seems to be a thing. I had a conversation with the doctor about not being informed about the results of a scan. This was the situation. I asked the front office, via phone and the portal, to have the doctor call me about the results. I was told the doctor does not speak on the phone about test results. I asked if the doctor had any concerns about the results. I was told the doctor said I could come in to discuss. I took that to mean that the doctor had no urgent concern and I did not need to come in sooner than my next appointment. As it turned out, at the next appointment the doctor told me to get a biopsy. I expressed my dismay to the doctor about being inaccessible to patients. She told me she could not possibly have the time to speak with patients about test results.

Luckily there was a cancellation and I was able to have the biopsy sooner than 3 months later. And fortunately for me the biopsy was normal.

I am looking for a new doctor. Even though I live an area where medical care is plentiful, it has been difficutl finding a good doctor who is taking patients.

I just looked at the messages in my apps and when when I write to a doctor usually staff replies, and it’s always under that person’s name.

Being "happy with a doctor" should not be based on a narrow perspective. It's the totality of the experience - dealing with the group or system the doctor is part of, the communication systems, the support staff, having expectations met (such as having results of tests and communication with the doctor timely and AS THE PATIENT EXPECTS, not as the doctor decides), confidence that the knowledge or expertise available for any problem (either by the doctor consulting with a colleague or sending the patient elsewhere) is thorough and comprehensive. And so many other things.

My experience is that for too long, medical/dental/other health professional schools based admission decisions too restrictively on academic achievement and quantitative data (GPA, test scores, and the like). Many who went through that type of screening and came out the other end were individuals who I will describe as often lacking having had normal socialization experiences and interpersonal skills. Call them bookworms or nerds if you want, but sometimes with sociopathic tendencies. The professional schools seem to be paying more attention these days on soft skills as can be seen in admission interviews and interactions.

The narcissistic eggheads are still out there and there's no reason to be stuck with one.

You are not being too sensitive in my opinion.

I would have been really miffed, but try to write it off as her having a bad day. She should try not to convey that to her patients though.

How awful, happy2b. Finding a new doctor can be quite an ordeal.

Maybe that wasn't the most polite way to put it but I do see their point that they don't have time to spend on a low priority issue. I would assume this was a general practice where they may be required by insurance to see as many patients as possible in five or ten minute blocks.

Bpath, that doesn't sound to me like something a staff member would write. In fact, when I read it I was surprised she hadn't turned the matter over to a staff member.

No, Eld, you're not being overly sensitive.

All doctors who see other than indigent patients have their services covered by insurance. Yes, GPs and others who aren't compensated for procedures have time factors to consider.

Insurance coverage in no way directs doctors or their staff members to be jerks. Nor does it require them to see as many patients as possible.

How doctors and their staff conduct themselves is their choice. Doctors who find the systems that they're in impose pressures or requirements they dislike change employers.

In the time she took to send that message she could have routed the prescription as you asked. Talk about wasting her time.

Satine she wanted to make sure I didn't do again. Thus the reprimand.

I want to thank you all for validating my feelings.

I think she is a good doctor for many reasons so I will not go elsewhere.

Mdln, I am assuming she it because she has in the past. Once she responded at 1:00am and I joked about how late it was. She said she just got back from an Eagles concert! So, friendly banter. Of course before Covid.

I think she could have said the same thing, and leave out how valuable her time is.

Satine she wanted to make sure I didn't do again. Thus the reprimand.

She could have used more tact, such as saying "please remember in the future to indicate which pharmacy you want this sent to in order to save us both time."

Tere, yes exactly!

I like the way terezosa worded it. It's the wording...not the overall message that's offensive.

Yes, that was a snarky reply.

BUT, how have your interactions with this person been in the past? Doctors and office staff are people too. The person who replied could have answered in a better way. The medical profession is tired, burned out, overwhelmed, etc. If I'd always had nice interactions with this person I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and think the response and tone was indicative of how the person is experiencing their day. I'd probably write back and thank them for getting back to you and wish them a nice weekend. Or some such sentiment. I wouldn't write them off over it. We've all been there during this crazy time with health care professionals even more so.

Sephia, always friendly interaction. I dont plan on sending another message.

As stated earlier, I don’t intend on switching.

I recently wrote a message to my doctor saying that I cancelled the new BP medicine that he prescribed because it was going to cost $300 to $400 a month, and this message was intercepted by one of the office workers who then told me that I would need an appointment to discuss this with my doctor. I then wrote back and told them that my doctor would want to know if any of my medication would need to be changed, and then I heard back from my doctor, who made the necessary adjustments and wrote me a different prescription.

When he wrote the first prescription, he told me in person that he did not know whether my insurance would pay for it, but that he would write it anyway to find out. My mail-in pharmacy would not fill the prescription because I had a $100 limit on what could be filled without my permission. I have since changed that to require any payment to require my authorization.

Doctors are not paid huge amounts of money to be insensitive to their patients. Some doctors care more about their patients than others. I lived with a surgeon in San Francisco for some time, and he was always extremely concerned about his patients and unfortunately told me way too much about them. I appreciated his concern but told him that he should observe patient confidentiality. He said that that did not apply because he never revealed the names of the patients.

In short, doctors are not being paid massive amounts of money to be rude to their patients, although some doctors like to think of themselves as gods and treat their patients as lowly subjects. These doctors need to be avoided. I've had several roommates who were doctors and have observed widely varying personalities.

Know what? This IS 'the job'. If you don't want interactions with patients, choose a different field. However, since Covid stress was cited, I'd cut some slack *this time*. Perhaps if she re-read the note, she'd be embarrassed -- as mdln guessed.

DH's brilliant fraternity brother excelled in medical school. When it dawned on him that he'd have to actually interact with human beings, he went into research.

Your doctor needs to improve her people skill. May I ask what kind of moisturizer? I am looking for a good foot cream.

I do not think you are being too sensitive. Not at all. It was a terse and rude response. She certainly could have worded it differently, or not at all would be better. A Doctors JOB is to take care of patients and their health care needs. That includes processing such simple requests as yours. Being a doctor entails working around a patients financial and insurance situations to find the best treatment. I am not easily offended at all but I bristled at your doctors mention of the pandemic. She is a PCP with her own practice? She is not buried in critical covid patients and struggling to keep them alive in the ICU. Gimmee a break. I understand that you will not respond to her or go to someone else. But if it were ME, I would have responded with this:

Thank you for taking time out of your hectic day to respond to my request regarding my prescription. I apologize for not knowing the cost difference ahead of time and therefore had to trouble you with a whole extra email expressing my concern and asking for a simple change. I very much do appreciate that your time is valuable. That is why I contacted you through the patient portal, so that you may deal with my request when it was convenient for you. I do not believe that the wording in my request to you indicated that it was an urgent matter, nor did I indicate that it should be the highest priority. I understand now, as you stated, that I and my prescription are indeed low priorities. That being the case, I will only trouble you one more time. I will be asking you to forward my medical records to my new care provider when I find one, as I am no longer convinced that you have the time or the understanding that I feel that I need in a medical provider. I assume that the request can be easily handled by your office staff, and therefore will not trouble you personally at all, Heaven forbid. I thank you for the time you have expended on me thus far, I am truly not worthy am I?

Bye *itch!

But that's just ME.

Summer, it’s Ammonium Lac Hydrin

Amy, that is really a perfect response. You made my day.

Amy, that's a bit more drastic than even I would write, but I do believe that doctors need to make their patients feel that they are important and relevant.

I had a sleep doctor who was always 45 minutes late to every appointment (Why couldn't he have just scheduled me 45 minutes later?), and he would also take personal phone calls from his wife during my appointment. I switched to a different sleep doctor, and the new one is always on time (no more than 5 minutes late), and he does not take personal calls during my appointment.

My brother's doctor's office double billed him for his last surgery, saying that my brother now owes him $83,000.00, and the insurance company is also saying that the surgery was elective - it was not. It's really sad when lawyers have to get involved in these situations, but sometimes there is no other solution.

Thanks! I will give it a try. :-)

Lars, believe it or not, I have been accused by more than one person that I am a bit "extra," perhaps a bit "dramatic," sometimes, I am told, I lack "decorum." To that I say, I give what I get....

That doctor was rude, and she is being paid to provide care. She is not doing anyone a free favor by doing her job. She should be reminded of that...... Maybe a bit more politely, true enough.

Sorry she was so rude to you, Eld.

Others here say they have gotten test results directly from their doctor, on the phone? I've never had that happen. I've either been sent letters, called for them and had the results read back from the office personnel who picked up the phone, had a return call from their nurse, or called a messaging service, like with my GI doc, where I listened to his recording of my biopsy results.

That rudeness is a red flag of a Dr. who cares only about how much money is coming in. I would ditch them fast and tell them why.

I had a Dr''s appt years ago and was kept waiting for an hour and a half. I went to the desk and told the gal I could not wait any longer, I had to get to work. She looked right down her nose at me and said that I needed to schedule my time better. I laughed in her face. I said, WHO needs to schedule better? An hour and a half is your problem. I ended up ditching him when I realized he was billing my ins. company for "extended office visit " each time when it was 7 to 10 minutes. I had no respect for him or his staff.

Kathsgrdn, I have not had many health issues, but one time when a blood test I had while pregnant indicated I needed an amnio to rule out a catastrophic situation, my doctor called me himself and told me not to worry about the lab work, that the amino would likely turn out fine in his experience.

Of course, he was right, all was well, and that screening blood test was abandoned a few years later. This OB GYN was not known for his excellent bedside manner. He was known to be a great surgeon. But even he was caring enough to want to speak with me and comfort me directly.

Otherwise normal lab work resulted in a note on patient portal.

Gosh, same with my knee MRI report, surgeon called to let me know what he thought was the next step.

When my children were little and might have to go to urgent care occasionally for stiches or broken bones, our pediatrician would call the next day and check in.

I had no idea it was unusual to speak directly with my doctors when something was troubling.

Zalco, Inchanged endocrinologist because the assistants would not let me speak to her directly.

Do you even know who sent the message? Was it the doctor with the MD? Or was it her nurse or medical assistant? My doctor's medical assistant most often replies to my messages I've sent. She also signs her name to it so I know who it came from.

I assume all correspondence is from the doctor directly.

Some of the views and attitudes underlying some of the comments are amazing. The message says "I have my priorities and you're not one of them. I can do and say what I want, I have an excuse and that's enough for me. You're wasting my time."

Oh, I see. So long as this person, whether the doc or one of the staff, can give you an excuse, then that's a free pass for them to say what they want and do or not do what they choose to do and you, on the receiving end, need to accept it?

For each of you, who do you allow to be rude and insolent to you:

Would you allow your partner to speak to you that way?

How about your manager at work? How about someone who reports to you?

The receptionist at your dental office when you're trying to schedule an emergency appointment? Or indeed, your dentist?

Your plumber when you ask about something done or a question you have?

Your kid?

The person at the pharmacy counter (which is often a pharmacist) when you, walking away, remember you forgot to request something or return to ask a question?

The painter painting your house who was given a big and expensive project to do?

Any of you who can put a person on such a list needs to think long and hard about why you allow another person in any circumstance to make you a victim of their disrespectful conduct.

"Summer, it’s Ammonium Lac Hydrin"

Like Amlactin? I buy Amlactin at Costco. I try to buy it when it's on sale. It's on sale on their website right now, but the in-store price is a few dollars less. In fact I think that the normal non-sale in-store price is the same as the sale price online. I usually pay about $13 for the 20 ounce bottle.

Amlactin at Costco

So long as this person, whether the doc or one of the staff, can give you an excuse, then that's a free pass for them to say what they want and do or not do what they choose to do and you, on the receiving end, need to accept it?

No, not at all. I don't live life in a black and white fashion. I take into consideration the relationships I have with people. If I have a good rapport with someone and they uncharacteristically respond less than normal, I don't write them off. I give the benefit of the doubt that something may be going on with that person. If it becomes a pattern of behavior, then yes, I'll move on. But to write off someone who is acting or behaving differently than they usually do with me is expecting people to be perfect. I'm certainly not, and hope that the times I haven't been my best, I haven't been written off, especially by someone I usually have a good relationship with. Expecting people to be perfect all the time is an unreasonable expectation.

Now if I got a response like this from someone whom I don't know or have a relationship with, yes, I'll move on.

Terezosa, thanks. I ordered 3 tonight from Hargraves Online Healthcare. We all have dry skin problem, so everyone gets one.

This post is funny to me, having worked in the medical profession I can tell you that doctors are often some of the rudest most arrogant people out there. You don't go to a doctor for their kind correspondence. Here is what's important:

The ability to diagnose, do they listen to you and run any needed tests? Diagnosing is as much art as science and a good doctor can solve the puzzle of what your symptoms are caused by.

The ability to treat - do they present treatment options, consider your situation holistically and then allow you to say what you want? Are they open to safer, natural treatments? Treatment should be a partnered decision not a command.

The ability to follow-up, do they check to make sure the treatment is curing or working properly Do they check that this treatment isn't negatively impacting other organ systems? Do they comply with your desire to change treatments when needed?

The doctor is not there to be your best friend. Yes, friendships can develop with your physician, but that's not the objective. They aren't there to know about your insurance, medication cost, etc.,.... that's for the patient to research, or the front office staff. If your appointment wait time is going long, it's not the Dr. who did the scheduling. Complain to the front desk. If an emergency happened, or other circumstance, then the patient should be given the option to reschedule. Understand that the doctor hires office staff to "run" the office. A physician's job is to treat patients. So, complaints can be made known to the doctor about scheduling, etc., and hopefully it will be addressed, but perhaps done by a note, not during your appointment .

(stepping off the soapbox)

I should have added.....weekly staff meetings can solve a lot of problems. Complaints, better ways of doing things, scheduling, etc., are addressed, and the Dr. is made aware. They can then discuss the solutions, and make changes as needed. It works.

Raye, I totally agree which is why I don’t have plans to look for a new doctor.

Foggy, i agree with you as well, but your examples are not what I was posting about.

I like to get opinions here. I can over react and most times that is what I’m told here.

I was surprised that everone agreed with my perception.

A 2 pack of ammonium lactate cream (12%) is $15.50 for a generic version from the Big A.

Ammonium Lactate Cream

The lotion form is even less. $12.70 for a 2 pack. Ammonium Lactate Lotion

I kinda' think the source of some of the doc's irritation had something to do with the relative low cost of the OTC version vs the value of both your time and her time seeking a lower cost supplier. The time of day--did she respond first thing of a morning or way later in the day? (when she could have been tired and irritated with things that might have gone on during the day...straw/ camel's back...)

Dermatologist or PCP?

She is PCP. I doubt she would know about pricing. Her irritation was my two messages about moisturizer.

Amy made a good point. I use the portal so that the doctor can look and respond when she has time. No where did I write that it was high priority or urgent.

I think what upset me was the way she verbalized my issue was low priority. Which of course is probably true. Yet as a patient, I shouldnt have been made to feel that sending two messages was a major mistake.

eld6161...I failed to mention, that I very much agree with you. Her response was very inappropriate!

She is PCP. I doubt she would know about pricing.

The reason that I asked if she was in primary care or skin specialty was to get a sense of what her patient load is, given the pandemic. Assuming that PCPs are being a lot more over-worked than dermatologists are (currently).

As far as what she knows about pricing--who knows. I'm reasonably sure that she is aware that it is a common OTC product for dry skin and available in generic forms--i.e., competitively priced and isn't an uber expensive med. For all we know, she may even use it herself. Esp. given her profession--lots of hand washing, sanitizing, gloves...

I am curious about what your 'full price' cost is vs your 'half price' source. Just so we know the dollar value of the savings. Weighted against the time and effort to both you and your physician,

By way of explaining why this caught my attention...

Real life parallel example from my household earlier in the week...

Walked into a room to hear my husband on speaker phone with his pharmacy. He needed to call in some refill meds as well as new scripts for expired scripts.

One of the scripts was for cetirizine--an allergy med. Doc had written a script for it a couple of years ago, taken as needed. DH was running low and wanted to top up his supply.

Cetirizine is a common allergy med. OTC. DH was asking the pharmacist to call DH's doc (a PCP) to get a new script. The pharmacist was in process of telling him that it was available OTC and probably cheaper to buy off the shelf rather than as a RX. Also part of the conversation was setting up a pickup time--sometime after 3 pm the following day but no guarantee that it would be available at 3 pm because the pharmacist explained that the pharmacy was really backed up with orders.

During this conversation, I walked into another room and pulled a bottle of cetirizine off the shelf in the medicine cabinet...one that I had bought when I was on a solo trip. Sat it on the desk in front of DH while he was still on the phone to the pharmacy.

Hospitals here are at near 100% occupancy...pharmacies backed up with orders.

AND, DH then informed me that he had divided up his original script of cetirizine into 3 bottles--so he had one next to the bed, one next to the TV and one in his desk. With tablets remaining in all 3 bottles. i.e., he wanted more for his convenience, not because he had exhausted his supply.

Along with having forgotten that I had told him (in the past) that I had an OTC bottle in the ground floor powder room medicine cabinet.

Yeh, I was a bit exasperated about it all...and I was just a bystander, not a party to. So I can understand where the doc was coming from and can forgive the bit of snark given the current situation in healthcare.

DH also has a script for meclizine. Another OTC med. I re-reminded him that we have OTC bottles of meclizine on hand, too. (One that I use, also, albeit seldom.)

Your husband's behavior (and attitude) are puzzling, but I don't see it related at all to eld's situation.

I looked up citirizine and found it's Zyrtec. The non-prescription bottle I buy contains little pills to be taken once every 24 hour pills. Why does he need them in three different places?